SIL announced her pregnancy just a few hours after DC's birth

[Anonymous]

Wow.

What would be the appropriate interval in your opinion? How dare she have a normal human event and tell people about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Did she choose that day to announce her pregnancy to the world? Or was she talking to you, excited for you and mentioned it spur of the moment?

All the family was gathered, and she told us all at the hospital. I found out a few minutes after everyone else.




I feel like even if you felt a little twinge of understandable annoyance, wouldn't you as a mature adult recognize that feeling as petty and get over it, rather than indulging it and using it as an excuse to create drama?

People overcomplicate relationships with these sorts of rules, rather than just considering a person's genuine intentions.

[Anonymous]

How did she announce it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Did she choose that day to announce her pregnancy to the world? Or was she talking to you, excited for you and mentioned it spur of the moment?

All the family was gathered, and she told us all at the hospital. I found out a few minutes after everyone else.




I feel like even if you felt a little twinge of understandable annoyance, wouldn't you as a mature adult recognize that feeling as petty and get over it, rather than indulging it and using it as an excuse to create drama?

People overcomplicate relationships with these sorts of rules, rather than just considering a person's genuine intentions.

Well, sure. I suppose I would just suck it up and SMILE BIG - even if I was laying in a hospital bed, recovering from the birth of my child (maybe even c-section) surgery. Would I appreciate it? Nah. Not a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Did she choose that day to announce her pregnancy to the world? Or was she talking to you, excited for you and mentioned it spur of the moment?

All the family was gathered, and she told us all at the hospital. I found out a few minutes after everyone else.




I feel like even if you felt a little twinge of understandable annoyance, wouldn't you as a mature adult recognize that feeling as petty and get over it, rather than indulging it and using it as an excuse to create drama?

People overcomplicate relationships with these sorts of rules, rather than just considering a person's genuine intentions.

Well, sure. I suppose I would just suck it up and SMILE BIG - even if I was laying in a hospital bed, recovering from the birth of my child (maybe even c-section) surgery. Would I appreciate it? Nah. Not a bit.

Really? I guess I don't see how someone's good news takes away from your own. There is enough to go around.

[Anonymous]

^ I had a csection too.

I just don't understand why this is seen as some sort of offense. You'd rather she kept it a secret, rather than sharing something she knew you could relate to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Did she choose that day to announce her pregnancy to the world? Or was she talking to you, excited for you and mentioned it spur of the moment?

All the family was gathered, and she told us all at the hospital. I found out a few minutes after everyone else.




I feel like even if you felt a little twinge of understandable annoyance, wouldn't you as a mature adult recognize that feeling as petty and get over it, rather than indulging it and using it as an excuse to create drama?

People overcomplicate relationships with these sorts of rules, rather than just considering a person's genuine intentions.

Well, sure. I suppose I would just suck it up and SMILE BIG - even if I was laying in a hospital bed, recovering from the birth of my child (maybe even c-section) surgery. Would I appreciate it? Nah. Not a bit.

Suck WHAT up? You haven't been insulted, you're not entitled to your family's undivided attention and admiration (which, bad news, you're not getting anyway, because they're there to see the baby, who doesn't care anyway). You don't need to SMILE BIG, just smile, say "congratulations," and get back to figuring out how to breastfeed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who say they wouldn't care have obviously never been in the situation.

I have. A relative told me she was pregnant when she visited me in the hospital after DC's birth. I was happy.

I don't get how someone else's happiness diminishes your own. What a pathetic way to live!

Did she choose that day to announce her pregnancy to the world? Or was she talking to you, excited for you and mentioned it spur of the moment?

All the family was gathered, and she told us all at the hospital. I found out a few minutes after everyone else.




I feel like even if you felt a little twinge of understandable annoyance, wouldn't you as a mature adult recognize that feeling as petty and get over it, rather than indulging it and using it as an excuse to create drama?

People overcomplicate relationships with these sorts of rules, rather than just considering a person's genuine intentions.

Well, sure. I suppose I would just suck it up and SMILE BIG - even if I was laying in a hospital bed, recovering from the birth of my child (maybe even c-section) surgery. Would I appreciate it? Nah. Not a bit.

Really? I guess I don't see how someone's good news takes away from your own. There is enough to go around.

Exactly.

You want to look for an excuse to have issues with your SIL, sure, you can invent reasons to get offended. But it's stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

What are you talking about? What party? It I had a baby and my SIL was going to tell everyone she was pregnant, I think it would be a great time to tel since everyone would be together. Of course, I like my SIL. That is what this is really about. Not the pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.

Well, no one should plan a party for whatever reason in your hospital room, because that's just rude, as you are trying to heal. But that's not what SIL did - sounds like she quietly told family members.

But hey, don't apologize to me - you're the one who has to deal with yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it's one thing to be respectful of someone's accomplishment/event/news. It's another to have to maintain silence and avoid sharing your own happy thoughts because of some silly notion of "stealing thunder".

If you're genuinely happy for someone - you don't begrudge them their moment to shine. And you are kind enough to step back and let them bask in the spotlight for a little while. That's the kind thing to do.

SIL could have announced a week or so earlier or later. But she chose the day Op had her baby. Only she knows why she did that, maybe she was planning to wait and just burst at the seams, sometimes that happens. At any rate, another new baby in the family is very joyous news!

Basking in the spotlight? I have news for you: there is no spotlight. There is no "Special Day" for adults. Not everyone gets an episode of their own personal reality tv show focused on them. If you crave the attention and approval of others so badly, that is a red flag that you have some work to do. You just had a new baby? Bask in the glow of your new baby, who, incidentally, doesn't give a crap that Auntie SIL is knocked up.

No one' planning a party. Someone IN YOUR FAMILY has happy news to share, and wants to share it WITH HER FAMILY. What is the big deal?

Well, don't plan your party in my hospital room - 'kay?

Seriously, I have never been in this situation before but I can put myself in those shoes - and, yes, it would bug me. And, yes, I would make a mental note of it. Sorry, I would.