Reply to SIL announced her pregnancy just a few hours after DC's birth

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Reply to "SIL announced her pregnancy just a few hours after DC's birth"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

Let me clarify this is my first post after OP.

It didn't happen to me. It happened to a friend and she's pretty upset since it's SIL 4th kid and DF came from a history of several miscarriages, a super tough pregnancy (bed rest for months) and her little guy is in the NICU awaiting weight gain for surgery.

Anyway thanks for sharing your opinion. [/quote]

I still don't see how it matters that SIL told people she was pregnant.  having a baby isn't being in the spotlight.  And it is this thinking that sets people up for disappointment.

Here's a scenario:  A person who had a difficult time getting pregnant and now has a baby in the NICU constantly using her "spotlight" to say how blessed and lucky she is to her SIL, who has had miscarriages, trouble getting pregnant, and has not yet been successful (but who is still expected to fawn all over the SIL with the baby b/c it's her spotlight)?

Do you see how that works?  Let's get rid of this notion that there's some kind of "spotlight" when a woman has a baby, lest we make it into a Bridezilla thing.  You give birth to a baby, count yourself lucky and leave it at that.  Any "attention" you get is bonus.

And if your baby has trouble or it doesn't go smoothly, be grateful if your loved ones offer support, but don't think that somehow it means you deserve an even greater spotlight.  There's a big difference between support and spotlight.  And a person can be supportive and still tell people she's pregnant, too.

What about women who never are able to conceive?  Are they still expected to hail to the mother when their friends and relatives give birth because they are owed a "spotlight"?

It's ridiculous.   [/quote]

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