Unmarried men, at what age is something seriously amiss?

[Anonymous]

Why do ppl post stupid questions

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do ppl post stupid questions

Even worse, why do people respond with stupid answers?

At least it is heartening to read the replies that are rational and understanding.

Hopefully they're taken into consideration by other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pp here...29 year old male...I do look for dates these days that have a potential for something to grow into (so no flings), but it is a bit worrying to read this thread because if anything I should be the one not giving the 30+ women crowd a chance and I don't do that.

Hell, I was going out with a woman who was engaged 4 times but not married (in her early 30's)...I didn't hold it against her...so it's sad to hear i'm being judged for not having settled down.

People need to judge others on a case by case basis, and not just write people off en masse before hand. try to understand the past before making a bold judgement against it.

Personally, I think a lot of it has to do with finances.

I'm probably still single because a large part of my twenties were terrible in terms of joblessness/financial stress, that lead to some depression, even though I'm a cultured an educated person.

Simply put, in my social circle of men 25-34, those making over 100k (or medical residents) got married before 31, with most in their mid-late 20's....those making under 100k haven't. The only one that ended up getting married who isn't making six figures married his high school sweetheart.

My anecdotal evidence suggests finances are probably the biggest road block for a decent guy who is willing to get married.

Would like to hear what opinions you ladies have.

At 29 nobody would be judging you.

[Anonymous]

I put my career first and didn't get married until I had a million dollars in assets. I was 39.

[Anonymous]

41

[Anonymous]

You have to do it before habits get locked in. This happens sometime around 40 ish. So if a guys has had no live in type of relationship in his 35-45 years, he is unlikely to change as he gets older. It applies to women also.

[Anonymous]

No particular age. DH was 35. He did live with someone. She was too high maintenance. He said she would spend an hour "playing with her face/hair"every time they went some where.

[Anonymous]

Man here.
I think 35 is a good estimate. I got married at 21, had a kid at 28 and divorced at 31. I'm dating with the desire to try marriage again with the right person. I have friends in their early thirties who have absolutely no interest in kids or marriage. Unfortunately, the ones who have girlfriends are "unintentionally" leading them on. I put that in quotes, because that's the story they stick to. They know their gfs want to get married eventually and have kids, yet they refuse to go any further than giving them keys to their places.

[Anonymous]

to 12:28- and as has been discussed on so many threads, why do these women who know better stay in going-nowhere relationships?

the point is the question of thread is applicable to BOTH genders because there are many women in mid to late 30s and early 40s who want to have kids, the family, etc. but can never figure out why that hasn't happened for them. maybe looking honestly at oneself, the choices one has made and continue to make but never learning from, is just part of the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here.
I think 35 is a good estimate. I got married at 21, had a kid at 28 and divorced at 31. I'm dating with the desire to try marriage again with the right person. I have friends in their early thirties who have absolutely no interest in kids or marriage. Unfortunately, the ones who have girlfriends are "unintentionally" leading them on. I put that in quotes, because that's the story they stick to. They know their gfs want to get married eventually and have kids, yet they refuse to go any further than giving them keys to their places.

I'm the 37-yo first time married guy from upthread. This is what I mean. All (or almost all) of the people I know who are divorced married before 30. I don't know anyone whose marital status and history I actually know, who is divorced who married after 30. I know this is purely anectodal, but I still think that too many people marry young without really knowing themselves let alone their partner well and that is a significant part of why the divorce rate is so high. While it is true that there are many who are happily married at a young age and stay committed through many years (my parents are approaching their 57th anniversary this summer), I don't think that works for everyone. Some people need more time to mature and know themselves better before marrying.

[Anonymous]

I knew a lovely man who didn't start to seriously look for a wife until he was 39. He wanted kids and a family. He settled down and now has the perfect home and family.

So I go with 39/40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here.
I think 35 is a good estimate. I got married at 21, had a kid at 28 and divorced at 31. I'm dating with the desire to try marriage again with the right person. I have friends in their early thirties who have absolutely no interest in kids or marriage. Unfortunately, the ones who have girlfriends are "unintentionally" leading them on. I put that in quotes, because that's the story they stick to. They know their gfs want to get married eventually and have kids, yet they refuse to go any further than giving them keys to their places.

I'm the 37-yo first time married guy from upthread. This is what I mean. All (or almost all) of the people I know who are divorced married before 30. I don't know anyone whose marital status and history I actually know, who is divorced who married after 30. I know this is purely anectodal, but I still think that too many people marry young without really knowing themselves let alone their partner well and that is a significant part of why the divorce rate is so high. While it is true that there are many who are happily married at a young age and stay committed through many years (my parents are approaching their 57th anniversary this summer), I don't think that works for everyone. Some people need more time to mature and know themselves better before marrying.

Hmm, I think those who marry young are more likely to leave a bad marriage and that's what you're seeing. Someone at 40 is more likely to stay put due to less options available to upgrade. Someone divorced around 30 has plenty of single peers around and is at a great age for procreation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In your opinion, if a man is I married, but typical background (college, maybe masters or grad school, healthy dating background) no long trips or absences. At what point do you begin to thing it's that either he doesn't want to be married or is not marriage material?

40

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to 12:28- and as has been discussed on so many threads, why do these women who know better stay in going-nowhere relationships?

the point is the question of thread is applicable to BOTH genders because there are many women in mid to late 30s and early 40s who want to have kids, the family, etc. but can never figure out why that hasn't happened for them. maybe looking honestly at oneself, the choices one has made and continue to make but never learning from, is just part of the problem.

How do they know better if the man is leading them on to believe he will commit? I think it's a bullsh&t cycle with men that have no intentions to commit, but won't be honest. By the time a woman would figure out it's really not happening it could be 2, 3, 4, 5 years?

[Anonymous]

43.75