Are my twins too close? (long, sorry)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're not a twin or a parent of twins (especially identical twins), you need to refrain from responding. You don't get it and you never will.

Yes! Those of you who don't understand the incredible bond between twins, STFU.

I'm the wife of a twin and I can tell you that the "incredible bond" is a myth. Twins are siblings just like any other siblings, they just happen to be the same age. Some are very close, others are not. Some are competitive, others are not.

Of course some aren't going to have a close bond, but of those that do, it is more than just "siblings with the same birthday." It is different than that.

[Anonymous]

I don't have twins, but curious…doesn't the school/teachers have input into this decision?

[Anonymous]

They sound like normal for their age to me - for any kid. You are just getting the crazy picky phase times two (and they are teaming up on you). I think your best tact is to stop making them try to be separate. If they want to wear the same clothes, let them. If they want to eat the same foods, let them. What is the harm? They might be doing it simply because you are trying to get them to separate.

I'd keep them in the same K class, and then during parent-teacher conferences discuss what to do the following year. It seems like most twins in our school are together in K and separated in 1st.

I don't know why people are saying they are brats, I took your post as examples of how they simply want to do things together. If you ask a child a preference, I don't think it is bratty for them to tell you what they want. Now, if they are pushing you around, its time to gain control.

Now, if they are still like this at 16, I'd worry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a twin. We are 35 years old now and live normal, wonderful, functional lives with big careers, spouses, and children of our own. To this day, I know how he is at all times. It is an awareness I cannot shake, nor do I want to. He is my other half and I don't know life any other way. Your twins are not too close. They are being themselves. Don't interfere.

Don't assume that your experience as an identical twin is common to others. My husband has no sense of "how" his identical brother is at any time, even if they are standing right next to each other. Throughout school they were DESPERATE to be treated as individuals and not as a single unit. To this day he still complains that he even had to share his birthday growing up. I know his brother feels the same way.

I don't assume anything. The OP described an extremely close set of twins. I was speaking to OP and relating my experience, which is similar. If your husband doesn't have that relationship with his twin then his parents should have treated them accordingly and I hope they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a twin. We are 35 years old now and live normal, wonderful, functional lives with big careers, spouses, and children of our own. To this day, I know how he is at all times. It is an awareness I cannot shake, nor do I want to. He is my other half and I don't know life any other way. Your twins are not too close. They are being themselves. Don't interfere.

Totally curious -- how do you know how he is at all times? Do you text/talk throughout the day or do you mean that it's just a feeling -- like Jon sounded pretty down this morning, I should check to see if he's having an ok day?

The latter. When we are not together and are not communicating I just know how he is. It is a feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have twins, but curious…doesn't the school/teachers have input into this decision?

Most let you do what you want. They'll tell you about their past experiences with twins, and give suggestions, but you can choose to follow that, or, if you feel it's not best for your particular kids, choose not to. Schools and teachers know kids. Parents know THEIR kids.