SIL jealous of pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

Very well said

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She may not even be able to speak to you about your pregnancy without crying.

This is your brother and his wife. If they could be happy for you, they would be. Imagine how much they must be struggling to be behaving like this.

I think it would be a gift to your entire family if you could choose to be generous and compassionate in your interpretation of these events. They would speak to you of your pregnancy if they could. Since they haven't, they must not be able to. How very sad for them. How incredibly lucky you are not to be in their shoes.

This is probably 100%accurate. I know I couldn't do it. The tears would be running down my face as I walked away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it, for people who really want kids, adopting or at least getting a few dogs and cats just ain't gonna cut it. It will always be the elephant in the room. There are a lot of couples out there who don't want kids and are perfectly happy without them, but it was most likely in their plan to be childless. It's a lot worse when being childless wasn't part of your plan.

For people who really want kids, adopting IS going to cut it. And comparing adopting a child to getting a few dogs and cats is insulting. When people want children they want children - it doesn't matter how they come to them. And deciding to adopt after suffering infertility is as satisfying as giving birth to a child.

Signed a mom who suffered infertility, birthed two children and adopted one child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it, for people who really want kids, adopting or at least getting a few dogs and cats just ain't gonna cut it. It will always be the elephant in the room. There are a lot of couples out there who don't want kids and are perfectly happy without them, but it was most likely in their plan to be childless. It's a lot worse when being childless wasn't part of your plan.

For people who really want kids, adopting IS going to cut it. And comparing adopting a child to getting a few dogs and cats is insulting. When people want children they want children - it doesn't matter how they come to them. And deciding to adopt after suffering infertility is as satisfying as giving birth to a child.

Signed a mom who suffered infertility, birthed two children and adopted one child.

Agree w/ bio/adoptive mom COMPLETELY!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's face it, for people who really want kids, adopting or at least getting a few dogs and cats just ain't gonna cut it. It will always be the elephant in the room. There are a lot of couples out there who don't want kids and are perfectly happy without them, but it was most likely in their plan to be childless. It's a lot worse when being childless wasn't part of your plan.

For people who really want kids, adopting IS going to cut it. And comparing adopting a child to getting a few dogs and cats is insulting. When people want children they want children - it doesn't matter how they come to them. And deciding to adopt after suffering infertility is as satisfying as giving birth to a child.

Signed a mom who suffered infertility, birthed two children and adopted one child.

Agree w/ bio/adoptive mom COMPLETELY!!!

OMG. Did that poster actually compare adopting a child with bringing home a cat or dog? Wow, just wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

Very well said

Yet, not everything is ALL about THEIR infertility, either. I understand that infertility is painful and very emotional but not welcoming a new addition into the family is just plain hurtful. And, yes, they should be able to hold it together long enough to send you an email or a card - even if it is through their tears.

OP, I would be sad/hurt/confused if a family member refused to even acknowledge the news of my pregnancy although I could understand why they might not want constant reminders/updates sent to them (sonogram pics, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

Many people do not choose to be single, Thanks for revealing how clueless and self-absorbed you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

People also do not choose o be ugly. Are beautiful people now supposed to hold their heads down and dress in unflattering ways so not to offend the ugly ones?

The problem with some of you infertile people here is that you had many or most things go your way all your life and now you fell it's soooo unjust that you don't get what you want. it's outside od your control, imagine that??? Like people are poor or orphans or killed in accidents as their choice? Suck it up, and learn to behave like an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

Many people do not choose to be single, Thanks for revealing how clueless and self-absorbed you are.

Um not exactly.

No one chooses infertility (not to be confused with elective sterilization which is a choice). Many people do not WANT to be single but very few of those CAN NOT ever find a mate, they just haven't the right person YET. Furthermore, lots of people are actually happy being single and not all couple want kids. Infertility implies the desire to produce children but the INABILITY to do so. Some things you can change, some things you can not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

Many people do not choose to be single, Thanks for revealing how clueless and self-absorbed you are.

Um not exactly.

No one chooses infertility (not to be confused with elective sterilization which is a choice). Many people do not WANT to be single but very few of those CAN NOT ever find a mate, they just haven't the right person YET. Furthermore, lots of people are actually happy being single and not all couple want kids. Infertility implies the desire to produce children but the INABILITY to do so. Some things you can change, some things you can not.

Well infertile couples can also foster special needs children, use donor eggs etc. Just like those involuntarily single can marry someone they don't like. In both situations one can, in most cases, find a substitute for the original dream.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

People also do not choose o be ugly. Are beautiful people now supposed to hold their heads down and dress in unflattering ways so not to offend the ugly ones?

The problem with some of you infertile people here is that you had many or most things go your way all your life and now you fell it's soooo unjust that you don't get what you want. it's outside od your control, imagine that??? Like people are poor or orphans or killed in accidents as their choice? Suck it up, and learn to behave like an adult.

Uh, what are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

You're comparing someone being single to someone going through infertility??? Are you crazy? Infertility is a medical condition that takes a huge emotional toll. Last time i checked, being single wasn't a medical problem. You bet the reactions would be different.

Infertility is an elective medical problem, like a big nose. It might be interfering with your life plans but you can certainly life with it. You absolutely dont need to go to doctor for it, unless you really want to. It is actually quite similar to remaining single or having other importsnt life plans thwarted.

People CHOOSE to remain single, they do not CHOOSE to become infertile any more than they CHOOSE to get cancer. Some things are totally outside of your control, other things can only be controlled by you.

Many people do not choose to be single, Thanks for revealing how clueless and self-absorbed you are.

Um not exactly.

No one chooses infertility (not to be confused with elective sterilization which is a choice). Many people do not WANT to be single but very few of those CAN NOT ever find a mate, they just haven't the right person YET. Furthermore, lots of people are actually happy being single and not all couple want kids. Infertility implies the desire to produce children but the INABILITY to do so. Some things you can change, some things you can not.

Well infertile couples can also foster special needs children, use donor eggs etc. Just like those involuntarily single can marry someone they don't like. In both situations one can, in most cases, find a substitute for the original dream.

Well that is one very distorted way of looking at things I suppose. Wow.