SIL jealous of pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not take it personally, and follow their lead (e.g. they need space.) That is my opinion. I struggled w/ infertility as a single woman, so perhaps that is why I am compassionate towards them. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

OP here. I guess I feel that SIL should pretend to be happy for us, and give us a quick call or send an email. That just seems like proper manners. To ignore close kin's pregnancy just seems really odd and ridiculous to me.

Wow, this really is all about you in your mind. You know, when I was pregnant almost everybody in my path was crazy ga-ga about this pregnancy. So much so that I thought "geez, I've NEVER been this excited about somebody else's pregnancy. Ever." You will have plenty of well-wishers and get a lot of attention. Don't force this onto your SIL. YOU need to show proper manners and LET IT GO.

Also OP: not only should you refrain from bragging about the pregnancy, but also refrain from complaining.

[Anonymous]

Grow up OP. not everything is about YOU!

[Anonymous]

You are presuming, OP. I suspect SIL and you did not get along to being with... but anyway, do not resent them for taking your news so coldly.

[Anonymous]

OP, I bet you were a joy to be around when you were a bride-to-be...

[Anonymous]

OP here. SIL definitely knows about the pregnancy--my brother told my father that he told her. I guess I am just surprised by both of their reactions (or no acknowledgment on part of SIL, and no further acknowledgment of the pregnancy in subsequent phone conversations with my brother). Also, it's been 3 months since we shared the news, so it's been awhile.

I have not experienced infertility, and we were very sensitive about how we made the announcement to my brother, and I have not brought it up since. I will try to be understanding of their decision to ignore the pregnancy, though it still seems really odd to me.

[Anonymous]

Please do TRY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please do TRY.

+me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. SIL definitely knows about the pregnancy--my brother told my father that he told her. I guess I am just surprised by both of their reactions (or no acknowledgment on part of SIL, and no further acknowledgment of the pregnancy in subsequent phone conversations with my brother). Also, it's been 3 months since we shared the news, so it's been awhile.

I have not experienced infertility, and we were very sensitive about how we made the announcement to my brother, and I have not brought it up since. I will try to be understanding of their decision to ignore the pregnancy, though it still seems really odd to me.

Wow. Even after reading these posts, you still don't get that someone's pain could trump your need for attention.

[Anonymous]

You really expect her to swallow her pain just to make you feel like a special snowflake?
Don't take it personally. She just needs her space. She shouldn't be expected to be ecstatic for you. Put yourself in her shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really expect her to swallow her pain just to make you feel like a special snowflake?
Don't take it personally. She just needs her space. She shouldn't be expected to be ecstatic for you. Put yourself in her shoes.

OP here. I don't expect her to be ecstatic, but I do find it a little weird that in the last 3 months of phone calls/emails with my brother that I have to hide my pregnancy. It just seems really weird to me. I don't think an email or a phone call with a simple congratulations means I'm expecting her to shower me with enthusiasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really expect her to swallow her pain just to make you feel like a special snowflake?
Don't take it personally. She just needs her space. She shouldn't be expected to be ecstatic for you. Put yourself in her shoes.

OP here. I don't expect her to be ecstatic, but I do find it a little weird that in the last 3 months of phone calls/emails with my brother that I have to hide my pregnancy. It just seems really weird to me. I don't think an email or a phone call with a simple congratulations means I'm expecting her to shower me with enthusiasm.

SHUT UP!!!! What you think is a "simple congratulations" is like chewing glass for your brother and SIL. When you have walked a mile in their shoes, then you can spew out this self-centered crap without recourse.

Once again, it's just not about you. People, even family members, going through 2 years of infertility get a pass on sending congratulations for pregnancy announcements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not take it personally, and follow their lead (e.g. they need space.) That is my opinion. I struggled w/ infertility as a single woman, so perhaps that is why I am compassionate towards them. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

OP here. I guess I feel that SIL should pretend to be happy for us, and give us a quick call or send an email. That just seems like proper manners. To ignore close kin's pregnancy just seems really odd and ridiculous to me.

You've got to be kidding me. Think about how this sounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You really expect her to swallow her pain just to make you feel like a special snowflake?
Don't take it personally. She just needs her space. She shouldn't be expected to be ecstatic for you. Put yourself in her shoes.

OP here. I don't expect her to be ecstatic, but I do find it a little weird that in the last 3 months of phone calls/emails with my brother that I have to hide my pregnancy. It just seems really weird to me. I don't think an email or a phone call with a simple congratulations means I'm expecting her to shower me with enthusiasm.

Again, OP, give it up!! Why do you need her "simple congratulations?" You and your DH have a lot to be happy about. Stop trying to create drama where there isn't any. You know exactly what is going on with your brother and SIL. Stop being a drama queen. You don't need her congratulations.

[Anonymous]

I agree infertility is os hard . You need to get over yourself and grow up

[Anonymous]

OP you are horrible. You know what they are going through and all you care about is yourself. You better learn to be more understanding and less judgmental before you have your child. I told my best friend (I was her maid of honor, etc.) that I was pregnant 4 months ago and haven't heard a word from her since. I know she is struggling with infertility so it hasn't bothered me one bit. I know she will come around when she is ready and I don't need any more attention. Get over yourself. You almost seem like you want to rub it in.