SIL jealous of pregnancy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

I agree. Back off. It is not about you, not at all.

My BFF from childhood married in her 40s and she and her DH could not have children. She and I are Facebook friends and she comments and "likes" practically everything I post, *except* stuff about my kids. She ignores that they exist. And she never, ever asks about them.

At first it bothered me, but no longer. It is not about my kids and me; it is about her. I have not walked in her shoes and have no idea what it feels like to her to see my kids' photos. If refraining from commenting helps her to cope, well, then that's what she should do.

But it's not only about her. Relatuinships are about both, and the fact she behaves like it is her alone is, at the very least rude. She is supposed to suck it up, just like sick people suck it up that others are healthy, unemployed that others have careers, fat that others are thin etc etc etc. Why is IF so special? Since when is jealousy such a respectable attitude?

It's not jealousy Einstein -- it is pain

If its pain, then why does it matter whether someone else is pregnant? If somebody lost an arm, still people would expect them to congratulate pregnancy.

No, it's not pain, it's jelaousy, plain and simple. Yet everybody is supposed to play along. Next thing you know, pregnant women will have to apologize to everyone unhappy with their own number od children.

Lord there are some crazy people on this thread
I am a person who have had friends going through all kinds of things that happen in life...
Death, infertility, financial problems...the various seasons of life
And sometimes when someone is going thru something...(especially something especially painful) you can try to extend to them the grace and compassion to give them a little wider berth...a little extra leeway...
Especially if this friend has done the same for you...is a true friend who has weathered storms with you..been there for you..
So yea...if my friend was having a bit of a hard time ...due to IF...and could not deal with my pregnancy...
As long as they didn't curse me or my kids...
I could see giving her a little extra space to deal...
I don't think the world revolves around me and expect my friends to be perfect ALL THE TIME...that way they can be forgiving when I am not perfect also

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

I agree. Back off. It is not about you, not at all.

My BFF from childhood married in her 40s and she and her DH could not have children. She and I are Facebook friends and she comments and "likes" practically everything I post, *except* stuff about my kids. She ignores that they exist. And she never, ever asks about them.

At first it bothered me, but no longer. It is not about my kids and me; it is about her. I have not walked in her shoes and have no idea what it feels like to her to see my kids' photos. If refraining from commenting helps her to cope, well, then that's what she should do.

But it's not only about her. Relatuinships are about both, and the fact she behaves like it is her alone is, at the very least rude. She is supposed to suck it up, just like sick people suck it up that others are healthy, unemployed that others have careers, fat that others are thin etc etc etc. Why is IF so special? Since when is jealousy such a respectable attitude?

It's not jealousy Einstein -- it is pain

If its pain, then why does it matter whether someone else is pregnant? If somebody lost an arm, still people would expect them to congratulate pregnancy.

No, it's not pain, it's jelaousy, plain and simple. Yet everybody is supposed to play along. Next thing you know, pregnant women will have to apologize to everyone unhappy with their own number od children.

Lord there are some crazy people on this thread
I am a person who have had friends going through all kinds of things that happen in life...
Death, infertility, financial problems...the various seasons of life
And sometimes when someone is going thru something...(especially something especially painful) you can try to extend to them the grace and compassion to give them a little wider berth...a little extra leeway...
Especially if this friend has done the same for you...is a true friend who has weathered storms with you..been there for you..
So yea...if my friend was having a bit of a hard time ...due to IF...and could not deal with my pregnancy...
As long as they didn't curse me or my kids...
I could see giving her a little extra space to deal...
I don't think the world revolves around me and expect my friends to be perfect ALL THE TIME...that way they can be forgiving when I am not perfect also

Since when is expecting a simple acknowledgment of pregnancy equal to asking people to "be perfect all the time" or an expectation that the world revolves around one? Sure, SIL should be given extra leeway, meaning no constant updates, baby showers, ultrasound pics etc. But this is going way beyond that. SIL is literally pretending the pregnancy is not there. Sorry, but there is no justification for that. What is going to happen when the baby is born? They are going to avoid him until they become pregnant or what? SIL is the one who needs to find a way to deal with this issue in a proper manner. What she is doing now is incredibly narcissistic.

[Anonymous]

No one owes you a congratulatory email or phone call - so many relationships and friendships seem to get ruined with people expecting formalized communications when that just isn't how everyone operates. SIL may in fact be happy for you but not sure how to express it. Or she may have mixed feelings, but whatever - she doesn't owe you a card and you're free to carry on normally. Next time she ask "how's it going?" - be honest, "morning sickness has passed, I'm feeling better" or "I'm having a lot of heartburn but otherwise good. How are you?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one owes you a congratulatory email or phone call - so many relationships and friendships seem to get ruined with people expecting formalized communications when that just isn't how everyone operates. SIL may in fact be happy for you but not sure how to express it. Or she may have mixed feelings, but whatever - she doesn't owe you a card and you're free to carry on normally. Next time she ask "how's it going?" - be honest, "morning sickness has passed, I'm feeling better" or "I'm having a lot of heartburn but otherwise good. How are you?"

Where does it say the OP expected a formal card or call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are horrible. You know what they are going through and all you care about is yourself. You better learn to be more understanding and less judgmental before you have your child. I told my best friend (I was her maid of honor, etc.) that I was pregnant 4 months ago and haven't heard a word from her since. I know she is struggling with infertility so it hasn't bothered me one bit. I know she will come around when she is ready and I don't need any more attention. Get over yourself. You almost seem like you want to rub it in.

I think the situation you're describing is odd. Sure, your friend is struggling with infertility but she is also your best friend, and to just completely leave your life like that is really harsh. I don't understand these extreme reactions from the person struggling from infertility. Why the need to shut the pregnant person out of their life completely?

Get a grip!
If this poster is not bothered by her friend's reaction why are you?
I have a child, but struggled with multiple pregnancy losses and this was not my reaction...but I do UNDERSTAND how some struggling with infertility can react in this manner...
And if her friend has enough compassion, love, and understanding for her friend who is in a lot of pain...YEA for her...what a wonderful friend...and likely mother...

Why is the compassion, love and understanding a one way street?

Just curious why you think it is incumbent on people who are fertile to walk on eggshells around people who aren't. Do parents of special needs kids get to ignore the milestones of the children of their friends and relatives, say graduation from high school? Aren't all of us grown-ups, and can we not find a balance?

I agree with this 100%. Just because someone is going through infertility doesn't raise them to some sort of superhuman status, where everyone else should be tiptoeing around them and be understanding when they can't even muster up common courtesy which would be expected in other situations.

And when the SIL announces her pregnancy eventually, should OP be super enthusiastic with her congratulations then, when SIL ignored her pregnancy? I don't think so. OP should show the same level of enthusiasm to SIL that SIL showed to her--i.e. none.

+100
Some people get things that others dream about all the time. So nobody is ever supposed to mention their successes? My parents died when I was young. Everyne I know references their living parents, great times they had dying holidays etc. all the time. Are they all supposed to shut up? Am I justified in ignoring them?

This is going beyond ridiculous. Yes, IF couples in fact have an obligation to follow ordinary rules of decency just like everyone else.

It's not about not getting someone's dream or someone's successes. It's not jealousy and it's not tiptoeing or being rude. It's self preservation. As any NORMAl person would know, there's a balance between what you can give and what you can't based on self-preserving. Often times an IF couple is struggling quite a bit and just needs to take care of themselves before giving to others. True friends understand that there's a give and take in relationships - right now the IF takes and pregnant gives - later on it may be that the IF gives and the pregnant takes -

And here's a kicker - it really amazes me how many people want to throw their successes in other, less fortunate folks' faces. It doesn't matter if it's financial, fertility, or career - the attitude of "HA, I'm more successful in ______ than you and I resent YOU because I can't gloat about it" There's something called common decency - you don't show off your more fortunate self to those less fortunate - yet when it comes to fertility/IF, that seems to go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one owes you a congratulatory email or phone call - so many relationships and friendships seem to get ruined with people expecting formalized communications when that just isn't how everyone operates. SIL may in fact be happy for you but not sure how to express it. Or she may have mixed feelings, but whatever - she doesn't owe you a card and you're free to carry on normally. Next time she ask "how's it going?" - be honest, "morning sickness has passed, I'm feeling better" or "I'm having a lot of heartburn but otherwise good. How are you?"

Where does it say the OP expected a formal card or call?

"I assumed he would tell her and later she would give us a call or send an email at the very least, but she never did either of those things."

[Anonymous]

Nothing sends me running faster than "I was expecting you to call" about XYZ personal achievement. What's the point of maintaining a relationship with some one who thinks about it in terms of what you owe them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

I agree. Back off. It is not about you, not at all.

My BFF from childhood married in her 40s and she and her DH could not have children. She and I are Facebook friends and she comments and "likes" practically everything I post, *except* stuff about my kids. She ignores that they exist. And she never, ever asks about them.

At first it bothered me, but no longer. It is not about my kids and me; it is about her. I have not walked in her shoes and have no idea what it feels like to her to see my kids' photos. If refraining from commenting helps her to cope, well, then that's what she should do.

But it's not only about her. Relatuinships are about both, and the fact she behaves like it is her alone is, at the very least rude. She is supposed to suck it up, just like sick people suck it up that others are healthy, unemployed that others have careers, fat that others are thin etc etc etc. Why is IF so special? Since when is jealousy such a respectable attitude?

It's not jealousy Einstein -- it is pain

If its pain, then why does it matter whether someone else is pregnant? If somebody lost an arm, still people would expect them to congratulate pregnancy.

No, it's not pain, it's jelaousy, plain and simple. Yet everybody is supposed to play along. Next thing you know, pregnant women will have to apologize to everyone unhappy with their own number od children.

Lord there are some crazy people on this thread
I am a person who have had friends going through all kinds of things that happen in life...
Death, infertility, financial problems...the various seasons of life
And sometimes when someone is going thru something...(especially something especially painful) you can try to extend to them the grace and compassion to give them a little wider berth...a little extra leeway...
Especially if this friend has done the same for you...is a true friend who has weathered storms with you..been there for you..
So yea...if my friend was having a bit of a hard time ...due to IF...and could not deal with my pregnancy...
As long as they didn't curse me or my kids...
I could see giving her a little extra space to deal...
I don't think the world revolves around me and expect my friends to be perfect ALL THE TIME...that way they can be forgiving when I am not perfect also

Since when is expecting a simple acknowledgment of pregnancy equal to asking people to "be perfect all the time" or an expectation that the world revolves around one? Sure, SIL should be given extra leeway, meaning no constant updates, baby showers, ultrasound pics etc. But this is going way beyond that. SIL is literally pretending the pregnancy is not there. Sorry, but there is no justification for that. What is going to happen when the baby is born? They are going to avoid him until they become pregnant or what? SIL is the one who needs to find a way to deal with this issue in a proper manner. What she is doing now is incredibly narcissistic.

This is crazier than hell...
I don't remember all of my family members immediate and distant acknowledging my pregnancy
But hey...I was so damn happy to be pregnant after a loss...I DIDN'T GIVE A FLIP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

I agree. Back off. It is not about you, not at all.

My BFF from childhood married in her 40s and she and her DH could not have children. She and I are Facebook friends and she comments and "likes" practically everything I post, *except* stuff about my kids. She ignores that they exist. And she never, ever asks about them.

At first it bothered me, but no longer. It is not about my kids and me; it is about her. I have not walked in her shoes and have no idea what it feels like to her to see my kids' photos. If refraining from commenting helps her to cope, well, then that's what she should do.

But it's not only about her. Relatuinships are about both, and the fact she behaves like it is her alone is, at the very least rude. She is supposed to suck it up, just like sick people suck it up that others are healthy, unemployed that others have careers, fat that others are thin etc etc etc. Why is IF so special? Since when is jealousy such a respectable attitude?

It's not jealousy Einstein -- it is pain

If its pain, then why does it matter whether someone else is pregnant? If somebody lost an arm, still people would expect them to congratulate pregnancy.

No, it's not pain, it's jelaousy, plain and simple. Yet everybody is supposed to play along. Next thing you know, pregnant women will have to apologize to everyone unhappy with their own number od children.

Lord there are some crazy people on this thread
I am a person who have had friends going through all kinds of things that happen in life...
Death, infertility, financial problems...the various seasons of life
And sometimes when someone is going thru something...(especially something especially painful) you can try to extend to them the grace and compassion to give them a little wider berth...a little extra leeway...
Especially if this friend has done the same for you...is a true friend who has weathered storms with you..been there for you..
So yea...if my friend was having a bit of a hard time ...due to IF...and could not deal with my pregnancy...
As long as they didn't curse me or my kids...
I could see giving her a little extra space to deal...
I don't think the world revolves around me and expect my friends to be perfect ALL THE TIME...that way they can be forgiving when I am not perfect also

Since when is expecting a simple acknowledgment of pregnancy equal to asking people to "be perfect all the time" or an expectation that the world revolves around one? Sure, SIL should be given extra leeway, meaning no constant updates, baby showers, ultrasound pics etc. But this is going way beyond that. SIL is literally pretending the pregnancy is not there. Sorry, but there is no justification for that. What is going to happen when the baby is born? They are going to avoid him until they become pregnant or what? SIL is the one who needs to find a way to deal with this issue in a proper manner. What she is doing now is incredibly narcissistic.

This is crazier than hell...
I don't remember all of my family members immediate and distant acknowledging my pregnancy
But hey...I was so damn happy to be pregnant after a loss...I DIDN'T GIVE A FLIP!

There is nothing immediate here, this has been going for 3 months or so. And OP probably is happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are horrible. You know what they are going through and all you care about is yourself. You better learn to be more understanding and less judgmental before you have your child. I told my best friend (I was her maid of honor, etc.) that I was pregnant 4 months ago and haven't heard a word from her since. I know she is struggling with infertility so it hasn't bothered me one bit. I know she will come around when she is ready and I don't need any more attention. Get over yourself. You almost seem like you want to rub it in.

I think the situation you're describing is odd. Sure, your friend is struggling with infertility but she is also your best friend, and to just completely leave your life like that is really harsh. I don't understand these extreme reactions from the person struggling from infertility. Why the need to shut the pregnant person out of their life completely?

Get a grip!
If this poster is not bothered by her friend's reaction why are you?
I have a child, but struggled with multiple pregnancy losses and this was not my reaction...but I do UNDERSTAND how some struggling with infertility can react in this manner...
And if her friend has enough compassion, love, and understanding for her friend who is in a lot of pain...YEA for her...what a wonderful friend...and likely mother...

Why is the compassion, love and understanding a one way street?

Just curious why you think it is incumbent on people who are fertile to walk on eggshells around people who aren't. Do parents of special needs kids get to ignore the milestones of the children of their friends and relatives, say graduation from high school? Aren't all of us grown-ups, and can we not find a balance?

I agree with this 100%. Just because someone is going through infertility doesn't raise them to some sort of superhuman status, where everyone else should be tiptoeing around them and be understanding when they can't even muster up common courtesy which would be expected in other situations.

And when the SIL announces her pregnancy eventually, should OP be super enthusiastic with her congratulations then, when SIL ignored her pregnancy? I don't think so. OP should show the same level of enthusiasm to SIL that SIL showed to her--i.e. none.

+100
Some people get things that others dream about all the time. So nobody is ever supposed to mention their successes? My parents died when I was young. Everyne I know references their living parents, great times they had dying holidays etc. all the time. Are they all supposed to shut up? Am I justified in ignoring them?

This is going beyond ridiculous. Yes, IF couples in fact have an obligation to follow ordinary rules of decency just like everyone else.

It's not about not getting someone's dream or someone's successes. It's not jealousy and it's not tiptoeing or being rude. It's self preservation. As any NORMAl person would know, there's a balance between what you can give and what you can't based on self-preserving. Often times an IF couple is struggling quite a bit and just needs to take care of themselves before giving to others. True friends understand that there's a give and take in relationships - right now the IF takes and pregnant gives - later on it may be that the IF gives and the pregnant takes -

And here's a kicker - it really amazes me how many people want to throw their successes in other, less fortunate folks' faces. It doesn't matter if it's financial, fertility, or career - the attitude of "HA, I'm more successful in ______ than you and I resent YOU because I can't gloat about it" There's something called common decency - you don't show off your more fortunate self to those less fortunate - yet when it comes to fertility/IF, that seems to go away.

Sorry, but if acknowledging your in laws pregnancy endangers your very existence ("self-preservation") you have a serious mental disorder.

Yes, people like to celebrate things like graduations, weddings, and yes, birth of children. And now that is indecent? I am sure "less fortunate" do it as well. I would bet SIL had a wedding and has invited singles or even spinsters to it.

[Anonymous]

As others have said its about having empathy for other people. If someone is struggling with fertility issues I make a huge effort to talk with this person about everything but my pregnancy. It's common decency and there are more than enough other people to talk to about being pregnant. It's the same for all kinds of life situations. If someone has a SN kid I wouldn't talk about my kid's accomplishments if our kids are around the same age. If someone is about to have serious surgery I wouldn't talk about how excited I am about my upcoming vacation. If someone lost their job I wouldn't talk about how great mine is. Maybe some of you haven't suffered hardship in your life and don't understand this yet but you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to see you get e-jumped. This topic can really bring out the crazy in some people. If your SIL is like some of the posters in this thread, it's probably best you don't hear from her anytime soon.

+1

+2. If the situation was something like OP getting engaged and her single sister had avoided her for 3 months since hearing the news, I suspect the reactions on this thread would be very different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said its about having empathy for other people. If someone is struggling with fertility issues I make a huge effort to talk with this person about everything but my pregnancy. It's common decency and there are more than enough other people to talk to about being pregnant. It's the same for all kinds of life situations. If someone has a SN kid I wouldn't talk about my kid's accomplishments if our kids are around the same age. If someone is about to have serious surgery I wouldn't talk about how excited I am about my upcoming vacation. If someone lost their job I wouldn't talk about how great mine is. Maybe some of you haven't suffered hardship in your life and don't understand this yet but you will.

You need to learn some vocabulary. There is a HUGE difference between talking about something and acknowledging something. No one is asking the SIL or any infertile woman to be ecstatic. But basic courtesy is still expected.

[Anonymous]

OP expects SIL to send an email or to call her congratulating her on her pregnancy. Are you kidding me??? Who expects this?? Way too much, OP. I agree with PP that you need to get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP-- you really need to dial it back. You named this thread "SIL Jealous of Pregnancy." That's mighty presumptuous of you. Then you write that you were expecting a phone call or email. And then your brother didn't give the excited reaction you were hoping for. Guess what---NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR PREGNANCY!

Infertility is a pain that you would not wish on your worst enemy. Please don't be one of those people that acknowledges it, but then expects folks going through it to rally some excitement just for you. It doesn't work like that. Your brother and SIL want nothing more than to make that phone call announcing their pregnancy. Every month they wait and pray for that moment. Month after month they are crushed with that blank pregnancy test.

Back off. They'll contact you when they're ready.

I agree. Back off. It is not about you, not at all.

My BFF from childhood married in her 40s and she and her DH could not have children. She and I are Facebook friends and she comments and "likes" practically everything I post, *except* stuff about my kids. She ignores that they exist. And she never, ever asks about them.

At first it bothered me, but no longer. It is not about my kids and me; it is about her. I have not walked in her shoes and have no idea what it feels like to her to see my kids' photos. If refraining from commenting helps her to cope, well, then that's what she should do.

But it's not only about her. Relatuinships are about both, and the fact she behaves like it is her alone is, at the very least rude. She is supposed to suck it up, just like sick people suck it up that others are healthy, unemployed that others have careers, fat that others are thin etc etc etc. Why is IF so special? Since when is jealousy such a respectable attitude?

It's not jealousy Einstein -- it is pain

If its pain, then why does it matter whether someone else is pregnant? If somebody lost an arm, still people would expect them to congratulate pregnancy.

No, it's not pain, it's jelaousy, plain and simple. Yet everybody is supposed to play along. Next thing you know, pregnant women will have to apologize to everyone unhappy with their own number od children.

Lord there are some crazy people on this thread
I am a person who have had friends going through all kinds of things that happen in life...
Death, infertility, financial problems...the various seasons of life
And sometimes when someone is going thru something...(especially something especially painful) you can try to extend to them the grace and compassion to give them a little wider berth...a little extra leeway...
Especially if this friend has done the same for you...is a true friend who has weathered storms with you..been there for you..
So yea...if my friend was having a bit of a hard time ...due to IF...and could not deal with my pregnancy...
As long as they didn't curse me or my kids...
I could see giving her a little extra space to deal...
I don't think the world revolves around me and expect my friends to be perfect ALL THE TIME...that way they can be forgiving when I am not perfect also

Since when is expecting a simple acknowledgment of pregnancy equal to asking people to "be perfect all the time" or an expectation that the world revolves around one? Sure, SIL should be given extra leeway, meaning no constant updates, baby showers, ultrasound pics etc. But this is going way beyond that. SIL is literally pretending the pregnancy is not there. Sorry, but there is no justification for that. What is going to happen when the baby is born? They are going to avoid him until they become pregnant or what? SIL is the one who needs to find a way to deal with this issue in a proper manner. What she is doing now is incredibly narcissistic.

This is crazier than hell...
I don't remember all of my family members immediate and distant acknowledging my pregnancy
But hey...I was so damn happy to be pregnant after a loss...I DIDN'T GIVE A FLIP!

There is nothing immediate here, this has been going for 3 months or so. And OP probably is happy.

IMMEDIATE FAMILY
Not immediate in regards to time
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