Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you

[Anonymous]

A complete stranger tried to talk to my child with ASD. He talks well, but did not talk to her and frankly I don't blame him. He started stimming which he had not done in at least a year. Luckily he got distracted by an escalator. While he was watching with glee, she told me about how she grew up next door to a retarded and mute child and she still keeps in touch with the family and could have the mom call me. She thought she was being a caring stranger!

My kid has an IQ in the gifted range, but I just refused to even go there with the whole DC area my kid is smarter than you think business. Even if he were as impaired as she thought, he is a child first, not a disability and it is not her place to assume anything. I looked at her in disbelief, walked off and told my child it was time to ride the escalator. We rode it up and down a few times and we giggled and cheered the whole time! Fuck normal! I've gone quirky and it's fun!

[Anonymous]

"Just spank him!", "You need to spank him", "If you spanked him like we spanked you, you wouldn't have this problem now."

[Anonymous]

"All this autism stuff is just a ploy by the government to get more kids on the federal gravy train." Oh really? Then why have I gotten zero help from the "government"? Stupid people.

[Anonymous]

My son's early intervention teach forgot herself for a moment and told me that her son, who had some delays was never diagnosed as Autistic, because she didn't wan't to saddle him with that lable. After she said it, I could tell by her face that she knew she had f'd up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A complete stranger tried to talk to my child with ASD. He talks well, but did not talk to her and frankly I don't blame him. He started stimming which he had not done in at least a year. Luckily he got distracted by an escalator. While he was watching with glee, she told me about how she grew up next door to a retarded and mute child and she still keeps in touch with the family and could have the mom call me. She thought she was being a caring stranger!

My kid has an IQ in the gifted range, but I just refused to even go there with the whole DC area my kid is smarter than you think business. Even if he were as impaired as she thought, he is a child first, not a disability and it is not her place to assume anything. I looked at her in disbelief, walked off and told my child it was time to ride the escalator. We rode it up and down a few times and we giggled and cheered the whole time! Fuck normal! I've gone quirky and it's fun!

I had a parent at our school ask me if DS is going to repeat K in the Fall. Out of the blue as part of pickup chit chat. Huh?!? Our kids were in the same preK together but she does not know DS has Asperger's and is at least two grades ahead in all academic areas. "No, going into first grade" and I walked away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You never know when she is going to walk...you just have to keep praying."

I hate this so much. It makes me feel like I'm keeping my daughter from walking through some sort of lack of religious faith, when one of the hardest things I've done in my life is accept that she's never going to walk. It is so unfair to be told that religious faith will cure your child, when ACCEPTANCE is so much more important.

This is why I HATE "there but for the grace of god go I."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can't you just let him eat a regular meal and have regular cake on this special occasion?

Would you like to see my kid crying in pain? That is usually followed by explosive diarrhea. You know how we avoid the pain and distress? GFCF diet. He is happy with the food he eats and he gets plenty of treats. This is not a form of torture.

"She can't have bread or cheese? I looooove cheese. I would just DIE if I couldn't have cheese. "

This in front of my 7 year old who was standing right. there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"You never know when she is going to walk...you just have to keep praying."

I hate this so much. It makes me feel like I'm keeping my daughter from walking through some sort of lack of religious faith, when one of the hardest things I've done in my life is accept that she's never going to walk. It is so unfair to be told that religious faith will cure your child, when ACCEPTANCE is so much more important.

This is why I HATE "there but for the grace of god go I."

I say this and I am not particularly religious. I just mean that bad things happen randomly and many times, no one is at fault. Just trying to express gratitude for my situation.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SN mom, and all I can say is, a lot of you are thin-skinned. Yes, people have said things that upset me. There's no script, and sometimes what will be OK to hear from one person is just like an arrow from another person.

I go by the whole of their conversations and actions toward me and my child. I think if some non SN families read this, they'll just stop trying with SN families because they think there is no winning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm a SN mom, and all I can say is, a lot of you are thin-skinned. Yes, people have said things that upset me. There's no script, and sometimes what will be OK to hear from one person is just like an arrow from another person.

I go by the whole of their conversations and actions toward me and my child. I think if some non SN families read this, they'll just stop trying with SN families because they think there is no winning.

I think it is okay to vent ones frustrations and find others who may have had similar experiences. It isn't every thread, most are supportive, but every once in a while I think it is okay to whine a bit.

[Anonymous]

My DD has a significant expressive language disorder and Celibacy disease. She has struggled for years to express herself but is very smart especially in math. My sister insists on saying how bad she feels for her because her sister is sooooo smart. This is done right in front of her! Drives me crazy! My MIL likes to comment on what university our older daughter should attend but when our DD said that she was wanted to go to college at UMASS like my DH she told her that some kids really do not need to go to college and maybe she should think about technical school. I will admit that I lost my cool on this one. She said she was trying to help my DD keep reasonable dreams.

[Anonymous]

It's nice to vent once in awhile. I grew up with a disability and have a child with SN. Had people saying stupid crap, however well-meaning, about my disability all my life and I take what's said to and about my SN child MUCH more personally.

Even as an adult, whenever I go to support meetings one of the first things everyone mentions is what stupid thing has been said to them by NT people since last we all met. No harm. There's no requirement that people with disabilities or their parents have to suffer in silence and cannot vent to others who understand what it's like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a significant expressive language disorder and Celibacy disease. She has struggled for years to express herself but is very smart especially in math. My sister insists on saying how bad she feels for her because her sister is sooooo smart. This is done right in front of her! Drives me crazy! My MIL likes to comment on what university our older daughter should attend but when our DD said that she was wanted to go to college at UMASS like my DH she told her that some kids really do not need to go to college and maybe she should think about technical school. I will admit that I lost my cool on this one. She said she was trying to help my DD keep reasonable dreams.

I have to ask....what is "Celibacy disease"?

[Anonymous]

Holy cow, 13:27. I realize family is family, but why do you keep bringing your children around these assholes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD has a significant expressive language disorder and Celibacy disease. She has struggled for years to express herself but is very smart especially in math. My sister insists on saying how bad she feels for her because her sister is sooooo smart. This is done right in front of her! Drives me crazy! My MIL likes to comment on what university our older daughter should attend but when our DD said that she was wanted to go to college at UMASS like my DH she told her that some kids really do not need to go to college and maybe she should think about technical school. I will admit that I lost my cool on this one. She said she was trying to help my DD keep reasonable dreams.

I have to ask....what is "Celibacy disease"?

LOL...Celiac.