Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you

[Anonymous]

PP that's aweful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stranger to my baby: "Is someone sleepy?"

My inner dialogue: "No, someone is just blind."

I know they mean well but I still want to deck them all.

Why isn't this your outer dialogue?

[Anonymous]

I understand why its not outer dialogue. When you are dealing with a the challenge of having a child with a physical disability, its not worth the energy to get into it, or embarrass, some well-meaning doo-doo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand why its not outer dialogue. When you are dealing with a the challenge of having a child with a physical disability, its not worth the energy to get into it, or embarrass, some well-meaning doo-doo

Yes, exactly. No one who knows the situation would ask that. It's always a well intended stranger in the grocery store or similar. We did explain the situation to a few strangers early on, and you could tell their heart sank and they felt like crap. Part of me thinks I should always explain since they won't be any the wiser if they aren't told. I have too much to do to take time to be a walking PSA though, so I say "Yes, it's about nap time" and go on my merry way. I obviously won't be able to take this approach for long bough since he'll catch on when he's older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand why its not outer dialogue. When you are dealing with a the challenge of having a child with a physical disability, its not worth the energy to get into it, or embarrass, some well-meaning doo-doo

And it's not worth your own privacy either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"There's nothing wrong with him. They just always want to label these kids."

(As in "I know better than you, your developmental pediatrician and your DS' teachers.")

DS has an ASD. For real.

AMEN!!! If my child has nothing wrong with them and I'm putting them in so much therapy, etc.. what exactly does that say about me?? I know people say "there is nothing wrong with him" to try and be nice, but it drives me NUTS!!!

[Anonymous]

after 2 minutes of being on playground around a new family we didn't know...

stranger on playground: "does she have autism?" (seriously, this was the first thing he said to me... as opposed to just a simple "hi")
me: "no, she just has a speech delay"
stranger on playground: "oh, I teach special needs and she looks like she has autism"
me: oh, where do you teach?
stranger on playground: "well, I teach PE and have a few special needs kids in my classes"
me: silence...

[Anonymous]

What kind of idiot walks up to a stranger on the playground and asks if their kid has autism???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:after 2 minutes of being on playground around a new family we didn't know...

stranger on playground: "does she have autism?" (seriously, this was the first thing he said to me... as opposed to just a simple "hi")
me: "no, she just has a speech delay"
stranger on playground: "oh, I teach special needs and she looks like she has autism"
me: oh, where do you teach?
stranger on playground: "well, I teach PE and have a few special needs kids in my classes"
me: silence...

I might have responded with "Well clearly you were out on the day that teachers at your school learned how to talk to parents and others with sensitivity and tact."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Oh, please. She doesn't have ADHD! She's just bored."

Or for AS/ASD, "He's just shy." "You should red-shirt him."

I. Kid. You. Not.

[Anonymous]

<<I might have responded with "Well clearly you were out on the day that teachers at your school learned how to talk to parents and others with sensitivity and tact.">>

I think this gets to the underlying question about this thread, which is whether its better to call these "well-meaning"' people out on their comments, or let it go and not engage. I think it probably depends on your temperment -- some people are more confrontational by nature -- but Im at the point where engaging with people like this doesnt feel worth the energy to me, which probably says something about my overall state of energy not being where it should be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What kind of idiot walks up to a stranger on the playground and asks if their kid has autism???

Presumably one who wants to help you identify that problem you haven't been able to put your finger on for all those years?

[Anonymous]

<<What kind of idiot walks up to a stranger on the playground and asks if their kid has autism???


Presumably one who wants to help you identify that problem you haven't been able to put your finger on for all those years? >>


Being charitable, maybe this is her way of connecting -- maybe she feels she has experience with "autistic'' kids, and felt that it was a way of bonding on the playground. Kind of like when a mom on a playground will say -- oh your baby is 2? So is mine...."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stranger to my baby: "Is someone sleepy?"

My inner dialogue: "No, someone is just blind."

I know they mean well but I still want to deck them all.

Stranger - insensitive.

PP who wants to "deck them all" - even more insensitive.

Baby - only one with good behavior.

[Anonymous]

PP -- not really. This mom is is walking around with a blind baby. She's not actually decking them, she's just wanting to deck them for their ignorant comments. I think she's entitled to a little bit of anger or frustration, especially since she's not acting on it.