Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, some of you sound like you want to dislike or judge the parents of normally developing kids.
Have you ever thought that maybe (some) people are genuinely trying to be compassionate or thoughtful?
People don't always succeed in getting their intentions across. One would think that parents of SN kids would know this better than anyone and take the kindnesses, however awkwardly worded, in the spirit in which they were intended.

You missed the point. look at the title "well meaning parents." We know they didn't mean harm, but we have every right to vent.I don't know many people who enjoy pity or laypeople acting as experts regardless of whether or not their child has ASD.

You don't get it know. One day you may have your "a-ha" moment. Maybe you will have a grandchild or niece or nephew with SN and you will hear the anguish of the parent and understand how important it is to THINK before you speak and ask yourself "how would I feel if someone said this to me?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. 1 in 50 kids do NOT have autism. We are just diagnosing more kids because now any old nerd has ASD. That is the ONLY reason the numbers are going up.

Enough of this nonsense of eating organic food to avoid neurotoxic pesticides. My kid lives on hotdogs, kraft mac n cheese and poptarts with the occasional plain old non-organic applesauce and she's fine;therefore every kid is just fine eating this stuff.

Ladies, I present Exhibit A for " I know better than medical researchers, experts, and doctors because I am a MOM! I have a MAGIC VAGINA! I spit a couple of kids out of it and now I KNOW EVERYTHING!"

[Anonymous]

now...not know

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh please. 1 in 50 kids do NOT have autism. We are just diagnosing more kids because now any old nerd has ASD. That is the ONLY reason the numbers are going up.

Enough of this nonsense of eating organic food to avoid neurotoxic pesticides. My kid lives on hotdogs, kraft mac n cheese and poptarts with the occasional plain old non-organic applesauce and she's fine;therefore every kid is just fine eating this stuff.

Ladies, I present Exhibit A for " I know better than medical researchers, experts, and doctors because I am a MOM! I have a MAGIC VAGINA! I spit a couple of kids out of it and now I KNOW EVERYTHING!"

YEEEEESSSSSS. Oh gawd I know of few of these know it all with the magical womb. It is always the person who has a bunch of kids who are typical who thinks she can teach me a thing or two. One of her kids was premature and is totally normal, so there is no way your premie has issues even if the doctor says it is so. Her 4th kid was a late talker and now he's in AAP so save your money and drop the speech therapy.

[Anonymous]

"They never had these things when you were growing up"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I hear " My DH, DB, etc. relative would be on the spectrum if they were a kid today". And then there is " I am sure he will be fine by the time he is 5". I know people mean well,but what means the most to me is the folks who schedule play dates with us and understand when DS has a bad day.

I say this b/c it's true and I have a kid on the spectrum.

My family does not believe there is anything "wrong" with DS, but then they would have to acknowledge most people in our family would qualify for a diagnosis.

"You should give him 'the gift of time'."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"They never had these things when you were growing up"

Sigh. I can document a family history of ASD to the 1920s. In my family, my grandma always said that there was something wrong with my uncle. I adored him and I always felt bad that she said that, but now I know that she meant that he had an ASD. My mom identified my son's symptoms as being just like her brother's behaviors. My grandma knew something was different/wrong with my uncle but she didn't have a label for it when she was raising him in the late 50's and early 60's. My grandfather's family always said that there was nothing wrong with my uncle, but that he was just "iike Pete." Pete was one of my grandpa's brothers. I think he probably had an ASD, too. Pete and my grandpa grew up in the 20s and 30s.

[Anonymous]

I gave my kid "the gift of time" and I call it that. I guess different things push our buttons.

[Anonymous]

God doesn't give us more than we can handle.

OK so God decided you should have mellow, self-motivated, well behaved kids, a fast metabolism a pool in the backyard and plenty of hired help, but God looked at me and said "she needs way more challenges and a metabolism that won't even allow her to eat a cookie without it showing up on her ass." And God looked at people in 3rd world countries and decided to give some of them a life of suffering and constant stress? And what about people gang raped? God thought this was something they could handle? How about you let God share her own wisdom her own way and you just go get your 10:00am manicure and your 11:00am massage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God doesn't give us more than we can handle.
OK so God decided you should have mellow, self-motivated, well behaved kids, a fast metabolism a pool in the backyard and plenty of hired help, but God looked at me and said "she needs way more challenges and a metabolism that won't even allow her to eat a cookie without it showing up on her ass." And God looked at people in 3rd world countries and decided to give some of them a life of suffering and constant stress? And what about people gang raped? God thought this was something they could handle? How about you let God share her own wisdom her own way and you just go get your 10:00am manicure and your 11:00am massage.

My response to that line is "So I if I were a weaker person, my kid wouldn't have had a disability? Is that what you're saying?"

[Anonymous]

My twins are not necessarily considered special needs (yet), but a friend's husband said this (our twins were in the NICU for 2 months):

"At least you didn't have to deal with all of the hard stuff of having a newborn when your kids were born. When they came home they had already past the hard, newborn phase." LOLOL FU!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My twins are not necessarily considered special needs (yet), but a friend's husband said this (our twins were in the NICU for 2 months):

"At least you didn't have to deal with all of the hard stuff of having a newborn when your kids were born. When they came home they had already past the hard, newborn phase." LOLOL FU!

It's always shocking how little awareness people have.

[Anonymous]

*My child says your child doesn't have any friends and she is the only person who is nice to him. I refrained from saying. Really? My child says your child cannot get along with anyone and she frequently sulks.

That's a horribly rude thing for her to say to you. I would have considered asking her outright, "why did you feel that it would be appropriate to say that to me?"
On the other hand, focusing in your head on comparing whose kid is less well-liked with seems non-productive.

[Anonymous]

Einstein didn't speak until he was four*!




*or whatever age the person pulls from their ass that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

*My child says your child doesn't have any friends and she is the only person who is nice to him. I refrained from saying. Really? My child says your child cannot get along with anyone and she frequently sulks.

That's a horribly rude thing for her to say to you. I would have considered asking her outright, "why did you feel that it would be appropriate to say that to me?"
On the other hand, focusing in your head on comparing whose kid is less well-liked with seems non-productive.

Thank you. This is such a sensitive topic for me. That one conversation made me doubt every single piece of positive information I have gotten from the teacher or another parent or even everything I have observed. My child is on the spectrum and we work so hard on social things. If she had told me her child says my child cannot do math it would not mean a thing because he is great at math. If she told me her child says my child's drawing and handwriting are horrendous, I'd chuckle and agree and say that isn't a strength. This is the one area I worry so much about and it was such a punch in the gut. I know she was not trying to be cruel and maybe everyone else has been lying to me.