What to tell child who is product of an affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:fuck the pol-s and fuck his confidentiality agreement. get a friend to leak it

Yeah, take the high road

This is not about OP (who literally made her bed)

This is about her child. I just don't think that knowing that you are some bastard whose dad isn't interested in you is a self esteem booster. Can't you just say you don't know?

It crossed my mind, but that is a pretty big lie in itself and I'm not sure I want to send the message that it is ok to have one night stands or sleep with strangers. This was literally the only man I've ever slept with. But if it would save her pain in the long run I guess it is something I should consider.

[Anonymous]

I read this whole thread and so many of the PPs are very harsh! The OP is simply asking what to tell her child about her dad as she ages. I would tell her she was conceived in love and never waver from that foundation. Also, I agree with the PPs who recommend a good therapist. best of luck to you and your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My one year old daughter was conceived as the result of an affair. Her father told his wife about the baby but does not want their three other (teenaged) children to find out and does not wish to be a part of her life (he's a pol - go figure). He wanted me to abort but I couldn't. I love her dearly and am happy to raise her on my own. My question is what do I tell her about her father? Anyone ever been in this situation or a similar one? I realize I have made some pretty grave mistakes but I want to minimize the damage. Any advice would be appreciated.

Me same situation but no political figure and they were on a break but same outcome. Hang in there be the best mommie you can be and when she asks put her in contact with dad to explain, and as the teenagers age up tell them. Although, I think you will. Probably only need to tell one kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you getting child support? So sorry OP. I would try to form a family away from the father, but not allow him to get out of the child support obligations.

Why are you sorry? OP made the decision to have unprotected sex with a married father of 3. No sympathy from me. Maybe google "what homewreckers tell their kids" and you'll get some advice.

You forgot to sign your comment Ms BitterIVebeen cheated on poopy pants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what if his wife said she would adopt the child and bring her up as her own. This would give her a father and a stable home life. Would you do this for the good of this little girl? I know of a case where this happened. The father isn't a well-known politician but, otherwise, much the same story. Of course, I believe you are a troll so it is just hypothetical with you.

What's stable about a cheating husband? Yu think OP was the first? Is the last? Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what if his wife said she would adopt the child and bring her up as her own. This would give her a father and a stable home life. Would you do this for the good of this little girl? I know of a case where this happened. The father isn't a well-known politician but, otherwise, much the same story. Of course, I believe you are a troll so it is just hypothetical with you.

What's stable about a cheating husband? Yu think OP was the first? Is the last? Lol

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a lawyer and child support. Also healthcare and paid college for your child from him.

Therapist for you and to help you with how to handle your child's questions- don't wait until you're on the spot.

+ 1 . And a good, trustworthy set of godparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read this whole thread and so many of the PPs are very harsh! The OP is simply asking what to tell her child about her dad as she ages. I would tell her she was conceived in love and never waver from that foundation. Also, I agree with the PPs who recommend a good therapist. best of luck to you and your daughter.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My one year old daughter was conceived as the result of an affair. Her father told his wife about the baby but does not want their three other (teenaged) children to find out and does not wish to be a part of her life (he's a pol - go figure). He wanted me to abort but I couldn't. I love her dearly and am happy to raise her on my own. My question is what do I tell her about her father? Anyone ever been in this situation or a similar one? I realize I have made some pretty grave mistakes but I want to minimize the damage. Any advice would be appreciated.

Me same situation but no political figure and they were on a break but same outcome. Hang in there be the best mommie you can be and when she asks put her in contact with dad to explain, and as the teenagers age up tell them. Although, I think you will. Probably only need to tell one kid.

Was your child allowed to meet the father? He is worried it will complicate things if he meets her or is involved in any way. I guess there is a chance he could change his mind as time goes on but I can't count on that. I don't know if it's better to go with "your daddy loves you very much but he couldn't be a parent right now" or to just say I don't know where he is or what. I don't want her to feel abandoned (even though she essentially has been abandoned). Ugh this is so hard.

[Anonymous]

As long as the father of this child is paying child support, he doesn't owe this kid anything else. OP refused to terminate and both pay the price.

[Anonymous]

"Larlo Kayden," you are the product of my affair with a married man. I chose to have you, knowing that he was a father in name only. He does not want any comtact with you but I am telling you because I want you to spend the rest of your life knowing that you were not wanted by your father. I also want to further burden you with the knowledge that your mother is a slut and a selfish one, as well."

OP, do you begin to see what your bad, bad cboices have and will do? Stop acting as you are a madonna, you are not. You made a stupid choice to sleep with a married man, then chose to get pregnant and have child. All choices have consequences. In the future weigh yours and find a responsible adult to guide you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Larlo Kayden," you are the product of my affair with a married man. I chose to have you, knowing that he was a father in name only. He does not want any comtact with you but I am telling you because I want you to spend the rest of your life knowing that you were not wanted by your father. I also want to further burden you with the knowledge that your mother is a slut and a selfish one, as well."

OP, do you begin to see what your bad, bad cboices have and will do? Stop acting as you are a madonna, you are not. You made a stupid choice to sleep with a married man, then chose to get pregnant and have child. All choices have consequences. In the future weigh yours and find a responsible adult to guide you.

BSTFU! Yo dumbass needs to meet me at the park in 10 minutes. Hefer.

You're silly if you think Mary didn't get some from somewhere... Puts your sanctimonious crap in perspective doesn't it?
Jesus was not the son of Joseph no matter how you slice it. So would you call him a bastard? Her a slut.
Hypocrite.

#thatwaseasy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Larlo Kayden," you are the product of my affair with a married man. I chose to have you, knowing that he was a father in name only. He does not want any comtact with you but I am telling you because I want you to spend the rest of your life knowing that you were not wanted by your father. I also want to further burden you with the knowledge that your mother is a slut and a selfish one, as well."

OP, do you begin to see what your bad, bad cboices have and will do? Stop acting as you are a madonna, you are not. You made a stupid choice to sleep with a married man, then chose to get pregnant and have child. All choices have consequences. In the future weigh yours and find a responsible adult to guide you.

BSTFU! Yo dumbass needs to meet me at the park in 10 minutes. Hefer.

You're silly if you think Mary didn't get some from somewhere... Puts your sanctimonious crap in perspective doesn't it?
Jesus was not the son of Joseph no matter how you slice it. So would you call him a bastard? Her a slut.
Hypocrite.

#thatwaseasy

[Anonymous]

FYI OP my ex contacts me every blue moon to say how miserable he is with his wife. I file the email....there will be a day when he has to explain to an adult why he behaved like a child