What to tell child who is product of an affair?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| My one year old daughter was conceived as the result of an affair. Her father told his wife about the baby but does not want their three other (teenaged) children to find out and does not wish to be a part of her life (he's a pol - go figure). He wanted me to abort but I couldn't. I love her dearly and am happy to raise her on my own. My question is what do I tell her about her father? Anyone ever been in this situation or a similar one? I realize I have made some pretty grave mistakes but I want to minimize the damage. Any advice would be appreciated. |
Anonymous
| Sorry cant help but is he a republican? Someone we would have heard of? |
Anonymous
| Are you getting child support? So sorry OP. I would try to form a family away from the father, but not allow him to get out of the child support obligations. |
Anonymous
Why are you sorry? OP made the decision to have unprotected sex with a married father of 3. No sympathy from me. Maybe google "what homewreckers tell their kids" and you'll get some advice. |
Anonymous
| Rielle is that you? |
Anonymous
What is this? |
Anonymous
| A "politician". Do you live in a pineapple under the sea??? |
Anonymous
| Politician |
Anonymous
|
You could always use this experience to write a children's book on the subject to explain it to her.
Suggested Titles "Your Mommy Was The Other Woman" "Daddy Cheated on His Wife and I Got You" "Mommy Was Seduced by Daddy's Political Connections" |
Anonymous
| You don't need to tell her anything right now, as she is one year old. You have lots of time to think about it. |
Anonymous
Republican or democrat, who gives a shit? How about ASSHOLE, CHEATER, BAD FATHER? They come in all denominations. However, seems to me, the child does have a right to know who her father is. Anything else is a lie, sooner or later, she will ask and then what do you say? "I don't know"-lie, "sperm bank"-lie, you have no choice but to be honest. Unless you are in a position to not take any financial support, he will be involved at least financially. |
Anonymous
| You better establish paternity sooner rather than later. This is tough bc you don't want to be caught in a lie down the road, but the truth really stinks. Tough spot, OP. |
Anonymous
Or perhaps "Baby Daddy is a Whore Who Likes to Use Women" "Daddy is a Sperm Donor" "Daddy uses his Political Connections to get Women" "Guess What? Our Future is Set" |
Anonymous
|
Truth. If her questions are answered in an age-appropriate way from the time she begins to ask them, that will be her truth, and while not necessarily easy, it won't be a shocking, identity-shaking type of thing to discover later. She's going to trust you for all kinds of truth and support as she grows up, and you need to be ready. It will be OK if you're honest and there for her. Age-appropriate answers as the key - and not loading her down with information she doesn't ask for or isn't ready for.
And just because HE doesn't want certain people to know does not mean he gets to decide. Of course he doesn't want anyone else to know. Tough for him! You're raising the baby, and you have a right to tell her the truth, and she has a right to know it. Not up to him. No question. And I hope he's at least supporting her financially. What's done is done, and your mistakes and all of that are in the past. What's best for her is what's important now. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| I say you make him a |