Feeling sorry for my single partying friends in their 30's

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

Well, you could have just said you met him in a bar. You keep making it sound like a line up of girls competing to meet this one guy. It is like you want to stress that you were the best, prettiest, etc - he picked you instead of your friends. What was it, an episode of the Bachelorette?

[Anonymous]

OP

You sound really smug and obnoxious. I feel sorry for any of your single friends. I did not starting my now husband until I was 32. Until that time I was going out and drinking/dancing and doing other activities such as volunteering etc. I did want to meet someone and I did want to get married but I DID NOT MEET ANYONE! But in the meantime, I made a life for myself. It may not have been the life that you would have chosen, but that certainly doesn't mean it was "embarrassing." I hope your friend is happy and I hope that eventually she gets married (if that is what she wants) to someone who is good to her and has a happy life. I hope you get a grip on yourself and that your friend dumps you. Because you need to be dumped. With friends like you, who needs enemies?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

Well, you could have just said you met him in a bar. You keep making it sound like a line up of girls competing to meet this one guy. It is like you want to stress that you were the best, prettiest, etc - he picked you instead of your friends. What was it, an episode of the Bachelorette?

OP here and it would be even fair to say that he picked me among all the women in that bar that night. Or should I say he picked me among all the women in the world? I'm sorry if the fact that I feel treasured hurts or offends anybody here.

I want think, like PP said, we're having a little of a language barrier here. I never meant to diminish my friends attributes or sound like a snob. I was just explaining that it is possible to find "the one" in a place like a bar. That's all I was trying to say.

He often says I'm the best this and that. Don't your husbands' compliment you saying you're the best whatever in the world? Don't you feel like your husband proposed to you because he thought you were the best? Doesn't it mean he picked you among others? He had a bunch of girls to choose from and he picked you. The same way you had a bunch of guys to choose from and you picked him. What's the problem with it?

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm wondering what you think it is your friend is "supposed" to do at age 33... sit home and crochet? Pet her cat and weep at her spinsterhood? What?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my 30s, I was finishing up my PhD in NYC, and let me tell you that I had a blast. I met a ton of intelligent, successful single guys in their 30s at various bars and restaurants. As a demographic rule, the more well-educated the city, the older the group of singletons.
OP must be from somewhere where the number of highly educated people is quite small.

Second this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

"Picked" poster, what country are you from? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

OP, I haven't read all the responses but I get where you're coming from. I partied really hard starting around age 16, including travel abroad, etc. Now that I'm mid 20's and married, I feel sorry for a lot of folks who are older and unmarried and still in the same phase of life I was a decade ago. I even feel sorry for myself hanging out watching football and drinking beer all weekend (just like your friend) because I'd rather have a baby. Point is, all of us have benchmarks that we'd like to meet at certain ages. Maybe your friend's benchmarks are different than yours, and that's completely okay. They may calibrate in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't read all the responses but I get where you're coming from. I partied really hard starting around age 16, including travel abroad, etc. Now that I'm mid 20's and married, I feel sorry for a lot of folks who are older and unmarried and still in the same phase of life I was a decade ago. I even feel sorry for myself hanging out watching football and drinking beer all weekend (just like your friend) because I'd rather have a baby. Point is, all of us have benchmarks that we'd like to meet at certain ages. Maybe your friend's benchmarks are different than yours, and that's completely okay. They may calibrate in the future.

PP, you are contradicting yourself. You feel sorry for a lot of folks who are in the same phase of life you were a decade ago, but then you're saying that if their benchmarks are different than yours, it is completely okay. If you thought hanging out at bars at an older age was 'completely okay', you wouldn't feel sorry for those who do it.

Or I am missing something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I haven't read all the responses but I get where you're coming from. I partied really hard starting around age 16, including travel abroad, etc. Now that I'm mid 20's and married, I feel sorry for a lot of folks who are older and unmarried and still in the same phase of life I was a decade ago. I even feel sorry for myself hanging out watching football and drinking beer all weekend (just like your friend) because I'd rather have a baby. Point is, all of us have benchmarks that we'd like to meet at certain ages. Maybe your friend's benchmarks are different than yours, and that's completely okay. They may calibrate in the future.

Sometimes the "benchmarks" don't work out. You don't meet the right guy, or you think he's the right one but won't commit, so you end it. If you don't "meet the benchmark" at the age you choose, what are you supposed to do, stop your life? Sit home alone or embrace your freedom? I choose the latter. I can do what I damn well please with my time. The "smug marrieds" on here really make me laugh.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to the two immediate PP's but I did not contradict myself. While I do feel sorry for the folks I mentioned (I also mentioned myself) I'm admitting that they may be perfectly fine with the way their lives are going. I just wouldn't want to be in their shoes. And maybe the feeling is mutual. Who knows?

[Anonymous]

Sweden. Why does it matter?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

"Picked" poster, what country are you from? Just curious.

[Anonymous]

When did picked poster become OP? I mean, I see that she says is on page 7, but before she seemed to be pretending to be a new poster. I think this is just a posting put up to stir the pot, especially considering that Europeans aren't uptight, stay-at-home bodies like this person claims to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sweden. Why does it matter?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

"Picked" poster, what country are you from? Just curious.

Because in certain cultures, early marriages are encouraged and unmarried women in their 30s are looked down at. Funny, I would never have guessed you were from Sweden, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who makes statements like Op did at her first one is just deflecting- she is not that happy and her friend goes out and and do whatever.. yes- the dating scene can suck- but at 33 she's in no way a cougar! OP has issues with her marriage and situation- i mean, who that is stable would post a post like that?? OP is the issue- not her friend- some people don't get married after high school or after undergrad.. deal with it.

[Anonymous]

PP sounds bitter.