Feeling sorry for my single partying friends in their 30's

[Anonymous]

Proud? I just said we don't even tell our story to friends and family!

We were a bunch of exchange students having fun far away from home. The guy was cute and we were showing our "best behavior" but still trying to make an impression. Come on, you're almost 30 and single, I sure knew the difference between a hook up and a life long relationship and that night none of us were looking for a husband.

Actually 1 girl tried to cut me off the group when she found out I met him the week following the shot episode. She thought I "betraided" them LOL Oh and another girl met a guy that night, dated him for 3 years and broke up when she found out he was married.

I lost contact with those girls once our program was over, kept seeing the cute guy whenever he was in town and when I called to say goodbye (1 week before my flight home) e asked to get serious. Poor guy, didn't know I had no reason to go back home so I stayed HA!

Now I'm just wondering what story we'll tell out DDs when they get old enough to ask how we met...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I know exactly what you're talking about and my friends will often call or come over to talk about the disastrous hook ups.

They look like cougars on the outside and the jerks complimenting them on a Sat night boosts the ego but when Sunday morning comes and the bed is empty and they get a headache/hangover they call to cry on my shoulder (mostly ecause they know we'll be awake and sober on Sunday at 7am LOL)

They often invite themselves for family meals. They feel so lonely deep inside. I tried suggesting cooking classes, speed dating, book clubs and online dating sites but they say they're not "that" desperate yet.

DH picked me in a bar among 5 other girls and we were both turning 30 at the time (and already felt like part of the older crowd) I can imagine how much worse it must be now...

Do you realize how awful and desperate this sounds? It sounds like you and your 5 other girls were pieces of meat hanging at a butcher's shop and your DH came by and "picked you." Woo Hoo you were "picked" yay for you!! Just sounds like you all were waiting around secretly screaming "pick me! pick me! Over here...pick me" gross.

Actually, what is gross (and more than a little insecure/pathetic) is how inordinately proud she still seems to be of that.

Ha. So true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Proud? I just said we don't even tell our story to friends and family!

We were a bunch of exchange students having fun far away from home. The guy was cute and we were showing our "best behavior" but still trying to make an impression. Come on, you're almost 30 and single, I sure knew the difference between a hook up and a life long relationship and that night none of us were looking for a husband.

Actually 1 girl tried to cut me off the group when she found out I met him the week following the shot episode. She thought I "betraided" them LOL Oh and another girl met a guy that night, dated him for 3 years and broke up when she found out he was married.

I lost contact with those girls once our program was over, kept seeing the cute guy whenever he was in town and when I called to say goodbye (1 week before my flight home) e asked to get serious. Poor guy, didn't know I had no reason to go back home so I stayed HA!

Now I'm just wondering what story we'll tell out DDs when they get old enough to ask how we met...

sure. keep telling yourself that story. he "chose" you like a cheap piece of meat. lucky you!

[Anonymous]

You're funny!

Didn't you chose your SO too? Unless arranged marriages are part of your culture LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Proud? I just said we don't even tell our story to friends and family!

We were a bunch of exchange students having fun far away from home. The guy was cute and we were showing our "best behavior" but still trying to make an impression. Come on, you're almost 30 and single, I sure knew the difference between a hook up and a life long relationship and that night none of us were looking for a husband.

Actually 1 girl tried to cut me off the group when she found out I met him the week following the shot episode. She thought I "betraided" them LOL Oh and another girl met a guy that night, dated him for 3 years and broke up when she found out he was married.

I lost contact with those girls once our program was over, kept seeing the cute guy whenever he was in town and when I called to say goodbye (1 week before my flight home) e asked to get serious. Poor guy, didn't know I had no reason to go back home so I stayed HA!

Now I'm just wondering what story we'll tell out DDs when they get old enough to ask how we met...

sure. keep telling yourself that story. he "chose" you like a cheap piece of meat. lucky you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:hah, I read the OP's post and thought DAMN, that sounds awesome! seriously. I am 42 (male) and married with 2 kids. Would LOVE to be able to pound beers all day watching college football with my buddies while I hit on girls. (and trust me, you can meet people that way. I often did).

Any guy could think this way now and then. If you SERIOUSLY think this way often, then you weren't really ready for commitment and marriage.

[Anonymous]

ITA ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think you all have painted a very different picture in your mind; that is probably my fault. This is not an independent, vibrant young professional having a blast in the city. I enjoy a fun night out, a wine bar with girlfriends, dinner and drinks, or a couple drinks at an appropriate bar. My dear friend spends her time in another city's Adam's Morgan. Young people. YOUNG people here. Not a mix. Places where you would play beer pong and dance on bars. And no, she isn't happy, she is miserable. I feel like it all stems from this denial of the fact that she is not 23 any longer. There is nothing wrong with having fun in your thirties, it just becomes a different kind of fun. If you are pissing in an alleyway at 33, it is no longer cute!

I ADORE BEER PONG.

-Married 32 year old (now homebody) who thinks you sound like a real pill. Are you the same poster who won't give BJs?

[Anonymous]

what a bizarre thread. OP, your friend is in another city yet you're this aware of what's going on in her life and also are in the position to "overhear" that guys think she's a cougar, etc? Pah-lease.

I hung out in bars at 33, partied pretty hard (maybe too hard). I knew people like OP would probably judge me (at one point I was dating someone 6 years younger than me) but I was just having a ton of fun. I didn't have kids and I was a work hard play hard person. Perhaps because I let myself have the fun I wanted, I don't miss it at all now that I'm married with children. I don't envy my younger friends or even my friends who just "act younger." But I don't judge them, either. Honestly, it doesn't sound like you know enough about your friend to know she's miserable.

OP starts off talking about her friends, and how sad and embarrassing she finds it, then switches to sympathy. I don't buy it. Either a troll or a really not nice person.

[Anonymous]

Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds like my sister-in-law who's constantly saying how she feels sorry for her single friends but is in a miserable marriage because she was so desperate to get married. She has to do that to justify why she married the wrong guy and is now in a loveless, shouty marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

"Picked" poster here.

Thanks for your words. I don't know what word I should use... When you go online don't you pick the profiles that interest you the most? When you go to a bar don't you pick which people you want to talk to? How many of you here had an arranged marriage where you don't get to pick who you want to marry? Don't you all picked your partners?

There were 5 girls and the guy picked me to talk further. What would be a better word choice?

It was a bunch of single girls having fun, nobody was looking for a long term relationship that day and we were all just partying. We talked to a lot of people and turns out that this worked out for us. What's wrong with you people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

No. Because she came across as a holier than thou PITA.

[Anonymous]

Why in the world are you feeling sorry for a partying friend? Sounds like she's having a blast or she wouldn't be doing it. I too had the immediate feeling that you must be jealous or feeling resentful because you feel trapped by the constraints of marriage and parenthood. She's free and loving it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you all stop beating up on the poster whose husband "picked" her out of the bar? It was probably a poor word choice. She said she was an exchange student. She sounds nice and happy with her husband and DD's. Leave her alone already.

No. Because she came across as a holier than thou PITA.

Seriously? Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP sounds like my sister-in-law who's constantly saying how she feels sorry for her single friends but is in a miserable marriage because she was so desperate to get married. She has to do that to justify why she married the wrong guy and is now in a loveless, shouty marriage.

BINGO!

I have a friend like this who was also pressed to marry at 25 and is now miserable. It justifies staying in the marriage.

I would think it was odd if she was 33, single, and hardly went out. What should she be doing on a Friday night?

[Anonymous]

As someone whose first marriage was at 39, ( and to a.much younger guy BTW ) I can tell you a lot of women in their 30s are tired of hanging out in bars, BUT HOW ELSE are supposed to.meet someone? And what are you supposed to do, sit home and knit?
You should go. YouTube the Woo Girls episode of how I met uour mother.