Has anyone here successfully fixed a dead bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what’s wrong with someone, man or woman, prioritizing and seeking physical intimacy with their partner.
After all, in most romantic relationships, isn’t sex what separates it from platonic connections?

What's wrong with it to the people who think that way is that these women are so feckless and ineffectual despite their internet proclamations to the contrary, denial of sex is the only leverage or weapon they have to exercise control or power in the relationship.

They themselves believe "p#ssy power" is their only real power, and that the ability to withhold sex is their trump card.

Guess again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

I know!! So much sex. After work day, after the soccer game, after the car shopping, after the biz trip, after the drinks & dinner, zip home from office for lunch. So much sex in our 50s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dead bedrooms can be fixed but obviously the reason why matters. Unless both sides sit down and have that raw conversation, then it can’t be fixed. Is it a medical issue? Is it attractiveness? Is it the lack of foreplay? Is it burn out? Once you both truly figure out the problem, the problem most likely can be fixed but it takes both sides to want to fix it.

One side is too chicken$hit to have that conversation.

Why? Because it would shine a light on their bad habits, disrespect and shortcomings— all of which are not sexually attractive to anyone, but they are too lazy or too busy to fix.

So that conversation would lead to an argument, as it had it the past. And the chicken$hit one, if male, usually prefers to divorce and run away, than improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

There is no such magic number in a healthy relationship. There are months where my husband and I go 4-5 times a week, and there are months we only do it once or twice because we are so busy or there is a family crisis. The foundation of the relationship is the same. 2-3 times per week is not some magic number. I’m sure there are happy couples that barely do it at all, and there are others doing it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

I know!! So much sex. After work day, after the soccer game, after the car shopping, after the biz trip, after the drinks & dinner, zip home from office for lunch. So much sex in our 50s.

You'r priorities are dysfunctional. .the soccer game is not more important than maintaining a healthy sex life. Stop drinking and eating so much. If you're bloated out you won't feel like having sex.. you don't go car shopping every day. Etc. Women like you prioritize everything above your marriages. It's deliberate so stop whining

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

There is no such magic number in a healthy relationship. There are months where my husband and I go 4-5 times a week, and there are months we only do it once or twice because we are so busy or there is a family crisis. The foundation of the relationship is the same. 2-3 times per week is not some magic number. I’m sure there are happy couples that barely do it at all, and there are others doing it all the time.

Try to be better at math. Average amount of times is 2-3x a week. Not every week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

I know!! So much sex. After work day, after the soccer game, after the car shopping, after the biz trip, after the drinks & dinner, zip home from office for lunch. So much sex in our 50s.

Yikes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what’s wrong with someone, man or woman, prioritizing and seeking physical intimacy with their partner.
After all, in most romantic relationships, isn’t sex what separates it from platonic connections?

DP. I agree with you. And I have definitely had my husband tell me that he loves me and he wants to spend more time with me, including time being intimate together, and I responded to that.

I really cannot imagine any woman responding to being told that she is basically worthless, that anything she does can be hired out, that she’s a shit mom and partner, and that she spends her whole life goofing off and doing her hobbies.

That is not hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Ok, but "sex every other week, sometimes more often" is not a dead bedroom. Certainly not for people in their 50s.

Assuming both partners are in reasonably good health, 2-3x per week on average plus daily non coital affection is more normal. Spouses who love each other want to have as.much sex with each other as health and circumstances allow. Theu dont view sex as a loathsome obligation.

That's a radical feminist cognitive distortion.

There is no such magic number in a healthy relationship. There are months where my husband and I go 4-5 times a week, and there are months we only do it once or twice because we are so busy or there is a family crisis. The foundation of the relationship is the same. 2-3 times per week is not some magic number. I’m sure there are happy couples that barely do it at all, and there are others doing it all the time.

Agree, 2-5 times a week is perfect! That must be the average for everyone here in the country and planet. Some are more, some are less, but most are definitely having sex 2-5 times a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Doesn’t that make it worse though? I feel like when I force myself to out of obligation/expectation I feel so horrible I feel even less in the mood than ever. The “fake it til you make it” thing just doesn’t work for me. If I was the PP’s wife I think I would have suggested a hall pass or just having sex on demand and feeling awful until I could live with losing my kids 50 percent of the time.

The only thing that helps at all is
1) taking care of myself so I feel attractive (easier said than done- I used to be really pretty and I am aware I will never look that good again)
2) getting enough sleep
3) reading romance novels that are not terribly explicit but enough to remind me what fun sex can at least in theory be.

And then my husband had to make it through the day without yelling too badly at our kids. When he is a jerk to the kids I am so disgusted by him I absolutely can’t have sex.

Does he know this? Wait till they are teens, you’ll be yelling too.

Wait. Do men not know that yelling at the kids is a huge turn off? Like for the rest of the day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m the cause of the dead bedroom.
My husband is smart, funny, sexy, and I love him.
But I’m 52 with ZERO sex drive. There is no turning me on. There is no orgasm. I’ve been like this for a few years. I have thought about HRT and am on the fence about starting it as there are many risks.
We have sex every other week, sometimes more often. Only because I feel obligated to, not because I enjoy it because I don’t.
I would love to have the sex drive I had in my 30s.
I don’t know what the solution is. Men can get viagra but women have no options that don’t carry significant risks.

Doesn’t that make it worse though? I feel like when I force myself to out of obligation/expectation I feel so horrible I feel even less in the mood than ever. The “fake it til you make it” thing just doesn’t work for me. If I was the PP’s wife I think I would have suggested a hall pass or just having sex on demand and feeling awful until I could live with losing my kids 50 percent of the time.

The only thing that helps at all is
1) taking care of myself so I feel attractive (easier said than done- I used to be really pretty and I am aware I will never look that good again)
2) getting enough sleep
3) reading romance novels that are not terribly explicit but enough to remind me what fun sex can at least in theory be.

And then my husband had to make it through the day without yelling too badly at our kids. When he is a jerk to the kids I am so disgusted by him I absolutely can’t have sex.

Does he know this? Wait till they are teens, you’ll be yelling too.

Wait. Do men not know that yelling at the kids is a huge turn off? Like for the rest of the day?

Good thing women never do that

[Anonymous]

Real men know that gentle parenting = WAP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what’s wrong with someone, man or woman, prioritizing and seeking physical intimacy with their partner.
After all, in most romantic relationships, isn’t sex what separates it from platonic connections?

What's wrong with it to the people who think that way is that these women are so feckless and ineffectual despite their internet proclamations to the contrary, denial of sex is the only leverage or weapon they have to exercise control or power in the relationship.

They themselves believe "p#ssy power" is their only real power, and that the ability to withhold sex is their trump card.

Guess again

InCel-speak of small-dick, uneducated, low earning losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure what’s wrong with someone, man or woman, prioritizing and seeking physical intimacy with their partner.

After all, in most romantic relationships, isn’t sex what separates it from platonic connections?

No wonder you are not getting sex and intimacy at all. Your thinking is influenced by Andrew Tate, and you are one big "Eeek".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Real men know that gentle parenting = WAP

Ha! So true!

Also, just agree with me on sh!t you don’t actually care about.

We both know that you don’t care what color the dining room is painted. Don’t tsk tsk my paint samples and tell me you think yellow would look better. Just say it looks great and enjoy having the house to yourself while I go to Sherwin-Williams.