Is This the Norm? My Husband Says I’m Wrong

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 27 years old with an 8 year old son. My husband is 49 and wants to take a vacation in July with his ex-wife and her three kids (25, 23, 21). He’s really close to them and says it’s normal and healthy to do things with his ex and her family. However, he doesn’t want to plan a vacation for my son and me. Instead, he wants my son to spend the summer at home while he goes off with them.
My son is really upset that he won’t be able to go on a vacation, and my husband made him cry. My husband doesn’t seem to care at all that we’re both hurt and upset. It feels like he’s putting his ex’s family above ours.

I don’t know what to do. It seems like he doesn’t care about me or my son at all. It’s so frustrating. How do you even handle something like this?

You want the oldest son, right?

That's the ONLY reason a 27 teen pregnancy mom would want to hang out on a vacation with her 49 yo husband, his old ex-wife and their three adult children. Oh, and bring the 8 yo too. who knows who the father really is.

[Anonymous]

No, Nothing is the norm about your supposed situation Troll OP.

[Anonymous]

This thread is fake as a three-dollar bill but very entertaining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM will you find people insisting it’s perfectly fine for a married man to go on vacation with his ex-wife, while married to a younger wife (the same man who sucks and was abusive as husband). That’s not normal, and it’s not appropriate. And the argument about “prioritizing the kids” misses the point—his 8-year-old is still a young, dependent child, not a fully grown adult like his other kids. Meanwhile, OP isn’t some secondary figure; she’s his wife, and their son is also his minor child. They’re not a “second family”—they’re his immediate family now. If he’s not getting back with his ex-wife, then there’s no reason for them to be vacationing together.

Ding ding ding

I was thinking the same thing. His current wife and minor child are his family. His ex-wife is former family. His older children will always be his children. They are adults. They can come visit their dad anytime alone or as a group without their mother.

The people defending the the not so dear husband,are off their rockers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM will you find people insisting it’s perfectly fine for a married man to go on vacation with his ex-wife, while married to a younger wife (the same man who sucks and was abusive as husband). That’s not normal, and it’s not appropriate. And the argument about “prioritizing the kids” misses the point—his 8-year-old is still a young, dependent child, not a fully grown adult like his other kids. Meanwhile, OP isn’t some secondary figure; she’s his wife, and their son is also his minor child. They’re not a “second family”—they’re his immediate family now. If he’s not getting back with his ex-wife, then there’s no reason for them to be vacationing together.

Ding ding ding

I was thinking the same thing. His current wife and minor child are his family. His ex-wife is former family. His older children will always be his children. They are adults. They can come visit their dad anytime alone or as a group without their mother.

The people defending the the not so dear husband,are off their rockers.

People also seem to be ignoring the fact that the 8 yr old is a sibling to the 20somethings, like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband is my sons biological father, and the three kids are also my husbands kids. I thought it was clear, sorry. OP

Then all of you should go together. But it's going to be rough with all adults and an 8 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM will you find people insisting it’s perfectly fine for a married man to go on vacation with his ex-wife, while married to a younger wife (the same man who sucks and was abusive as husband). That’s not normal, and it’s not appropriate. And the argument about “prioritizing the kids” misses the point—his 8-year-old is still a young, dependent child, not a fully grown adult like his other kids. Meanwhile, OP isn’t some secondary figure; she’s his wife, and their son is also his minor child. They’re not a “second family”—they’re his immediate family now. If he’s not getting back with his ex-wife, then there’s no reason for them to be vacationing together.

Ding ding ding

I was thinking the same thing. His current wife and minor child are his family. His ex-wife is former family. His older children will always be his children. They are adults. They can come visit their dad anytime alone or as a group without their mother.

The people defending the the not so dear husband,are off their rockers.

No one has defended him, people have said that his disregard for teen mom and young son are consistent with the behavior that got everyone in this ridiculous family structure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's the problem? It's not like he's going to sleep with his ex-wife

Who knows? She probably isn't older than her ExH, maybe a couple of years younger. She could be anywhere from 45 - 48. She could have transformed her life and looks great now. And her ex regrets being an idiot.

And really, what woman would say great, let's go on vacation as a family unit and leave the real wife and other child at home? That is weird too. Right or wrong, I say ExW wants them to be a unit again. And not to blame her. Just saying.

Idk, maybe one whose husband knocked up a high school senior two years older than your own daughter? The ex may not give a fight about being some kind of unit but hell no does she want to be around teen mom (AP?) And her kid.

If you absorbed the remainder that followed what you bolded, and that's basically what I'm saying. There is some seriously bad juju going on with this assorted family/ies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you meet and get pregnant when you were 18 and he was 40? Was he your high school teacher?

No, we met at a nightclub, right around graduation.

No, no, the art museum.

+1 How did you get into a nigh club at 17? And what was a married father of three teenagers doing in a night club?

She was 18, not 17. Not that any of this matters. OP stopped coming back. I'm guessing a troll, or surprised to be called out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only on DCUM will you find people insisting it’s perfectly fine for a married man to go on vacation with his ex-wife, while married to a younger wife (the same man who sucks and was abusive as husband). That’s not normal, and it’s not appropriate. And the argument about “prioritizing the kids” misses the point—his 8-year-old is still a young, dependent child, not a fully grown adult like his other kids. Meanwhile, OP isn’t some secondary figure; she’s his wife, and their son is also his minor child. They’re not a “second family”—they’re his immediate family now. If he’s not getting back with his ex-wife, then there’s no reason for them to be vacationing together.

Ding ding ding

I was thinking the same thing. His current wife and minor child are his family. His ex-wife is former family. His older children will always be his children. They are adults. They can come visit their dad anytime alone or as a group without their mother.

The people defending the the not so dear husband,are off their rockers.

People also seem to be ignoring the fact that the 8 yr old is a sibling to the 20somethings, like it or not.

My dad impregnated a woman my age when I was in college, I have never seen him sine or met my younger half siblings and have no interest in meeting them. He’s since moved on to 4th wife, of course, and I don’t plan on meeting the next brood either. I find his behavior humiliating

[Anonymous]

How long have you been married?

Strategically, you should stick out the marriage for 10 years and then divorce. It’s very obvious your husband is already losing interest in you.

At the ten year mark it’s considered a long term marriage and you’ll be eligible for a better division of assets. At a minimum, you’ll qualify for his social security since it will be higher than yours. You’ll also get out before he truly becomes an old man needing a nurse.

Meet a lawyer quietly while he’s off with the first family. Make a plan. Make sure he’s putting money into a retirement account in your name and that you have your own savings account.

You should VERY strategic over the next two years. The ten year mark is an important one. And you should have zero qualms about trying to get as much as possible from this marriage. I’m seriously grossed out that this man went after a girl the same age as his kids. He’s a predator.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand why people keep bringing up age, because that is not the main point of my post. What I really need is advice on how to handle this situation with my husband and how to make things right for my my son. OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why people keep bringing up age, because that is not the main point of my post. What I really need is advice on how to handle this situation with my husband and how to make things right for my my son. OP

It's the reason he doesn't want to bring you and they don't want you to be there.

Your husband should take your son on vacation. But he does not want to. I dunno. Other than talking with him, I think you're stuck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why people keep bringing up age, because that is not the main point of my post. What I really need is advice on how to handle this situation with my husband and how to make things right for my my son. OP

Everyone brings up age because it’s the obvious explanation as to why your husband isn’t treating you or your son with respect. When a 40 year old impregnates a high school student he might not have honorable intentions, can you see that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand why people keep bringing up age, because that is not the main point of my post. What I really need is advice on how to handle this situation with my husband and how to make things right for my my son. OP

The post right above this one gives a lot of good information. You need to get your ducks in a row and then divorce.
Remained married for 10 years.
Also, between now and then, get a degree so you can support yourself and move on while you're still young.
There is no making this situation as is "right." I would also wonder if DH isn't going to try to divorce you before the 10 year mark.
He has shown who he is repeatedly.