Is This the Norm? My Husband Says I’m Wrong

[Anonymous]

Dont have kids with pedophiles. This vacation is the least of your worries in life.

[Anonymous]

If I was one of his kids, i also wouldnt want the living breathing proof of my dads pedophilia on vacation with us.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You have to figure out if this relationship is working for you FINANCIALLY.

There are plenty of partnerships in life that do well because the money is there. There's no shame in living such a life. But you need to figure out it applies to you. Otherwise, maybe divorcing is a better option. Think long and hard about it. Consult a lawyer that you pay with your own money such that he cannot see the expense on the credit card.

[Anonymous]

How do his 20 something kids and late 40s ex wife like you and your son more generally? Was it a warm welcome when he introduced them to his pregnant teenage girlfriend and his kids were almost your age? I can’t imagine how hard this relationship must be for them apart from vacations

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-No, I’m not my husbands AP. My husband was already divorced for years when we met.

And This isn’t the first time that he’s taken a vacation with his ex-wife, he’s done it before. My husband doesn’t allow my son a vacation this year, and I do not know why. He just doesn’t care and says he will be busy, and doesn’t have anytime. OP

Do you have a job? Why does your husband get to decide whether you and your son get to go on vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-No, I’m not my husbands AP. My husband was already divorced for years when we met.

And This isn’t the first time that he’s taken a vacation with his ex-wife, he’s done it before. My husband doesn’t allow my son a vacation this year, and I do not know why. He just doesn’t care and says he will be busy, and doesn’t have anytime. OP

Do you have a job? Why does your husband get to decide whether you and your son get to go on vacation?

She got pregnant at 18 with a 40 year old’s 4th kid. I would bet my life’s savings she has never had a real job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:-No, I’m not my husbands AP. My husband was already divorced for years when we met.

And This isn’t the first time that he’s taken a vacation with his ex-wife, he’s done it before. My husband doesn’t allow my son a vacation this year, and I do not know why. He just doesn’t care and says he will be busy, and doesn’t have anytime. OP

Do you have a job? Why does your husband get to decide whether you and your son get to go on vacation?

She got pregnant at 18 with a 40 year old’s 4th kid. I would bet my life’s savings she has never had a real job.

I understand that. I'm trying to walk her through the reasoning so she realizes she is now a fully-grown adult responsible for both herself and her child's mental health. She was groomed and manipulated as a young adult (hopefully she was an adult, who knows when they met), but she needs to break out of the mindset of letting this creepy old man hold all the keys.

OP I think you need to understand your family finances. Something tells me that your DH has it set up so his money goes to his first batch of kids and not you if he dies. Get a job now, plan an exit.

[Anonymous]

I don’t believe a word of this, but nice try OP.

[Anonymous]

It's normal to spend time alone with his adult kids. You should plan a vacation for you and your 8 year old son. Also, I think it should be mentioned that these are things you work out prior to marriage since you both seem to have so much baggage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 27 years old with an 8 year old son. My husband is 49 and wants to take a vacation in July with his ex-wife and her three kids (25, 23, 21). He’s really close to them and says it’s normal and healthy to do things with his ex and her family. However, he doesn’t want to plan a vacation for my son and me. Instead, he wants my son to spend the summer at home while he goes off with them.
My son is really upset that he won’t be able to go on a vacation, and my husband made him cry. My husband doesn’t seem to care at all that we’re both hurt and upset. It feels like he’s putting his ex’s family above ours.

I don’t know what to do. It seems like he doesn’t care about me or my son at all. It’s so frustrating. How do you even handle something like this?

Is he the biological or adopted father of your son? If not, where is your son's father? Just because your DD married someone 22 year younger, doesn't mean he abandons his family.

That being said, it is unfair. He should go with his family in summer and go with you and your son in winter. Meanwhile, you can take your son by yourself, with your ex, your parents or your ex's parents, whoever is willing and available.

[Anonymous]

*your DH

[Anonymous]

Maybe now with more experience you can see how a 40 year old who dates and impregnates an 18 year old is not likely to be a very good or reliable and equal partner long term. I would use this time to get a very good education like a nursing degree if you don’t have one so you can leave him and start over. Life is full of do overs and you are still very young. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Jesus OP you are 27!!! Once you post your profile on OLD there will a long line of 40+ men wanting to pay your rent, take you on vacations. Kid or no kid.

Don’t waste your time ! I’m damn serous and I’m a 49 yo woman

These age gap relationships only are fair to women if men pay up.

Don’t waste your time and youth on this dude. You can find someone who will write checks for your education, but you a nice house if you are remotely decent looking and thin.

[Anonymous]

This is essentially the plot to It's Complicated. The ex-husband is Alec Baldwin, the ex-wife is Meryl Streep, and the younger second wife is Lake Bell. The exes have 3 kids together, and the second wife has a 7-8yo with the husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His kids are his priority. He lives with you and the 8 yo. He needs to spend time with his kids. Either you support that, or you don’t. If you don’t, your relationship is doomed.

This^. He lives with you and your son. His kids don't get to see him every day and being in 20's probably all can't be together other than vacations. It's important he shows them that his priorities are in the right place. He can take you and your kid somewhere nearby for a weekend or in winter. You can travel with your son to see your parents, siblings or just about anywhere.