Don't ask people about their weight loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see what's big deal about it. Even if they don't ask, you both know that's an elephant in the room.

I don't understand why you think it's an elephant in the room. Please explain?

Because if I see someone who lost 40lbs but not allowed to say anything, that person knows what I am thinking, I know what I am thinking and I know that the person is thinking... but neither is willing to say anything. How stupid is that?

This is called “projecting”.

That person isn’t fixated on what you’re thinking about their body.
They’re not interested in your thoughts on the matter.

If they are, they will invite them by saying “you know, the past few months I’ve been eating vegetarian and I feel much better.” They are not sitting waiting for you to notice their body.

[Anonymous]

I was really proud of myself when this happened to me recently. My husband's cousin also asked me if I'd lost a ton of weight. For the 35 years he's known me, I have been a size 8-10, never fluctuating more than five pounds. I think I just was wearing something particularly slimming that day.

When I simply answered no, my husband exhorted me to say thank you for the "compliment." I looked at both of them and said, "You're assuming that weight loss is always someone's default desired outcome." And gave my husband more of an earful later in private. I don't know why people feel entitled to make these stupid remarks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was really proud of myself when this happened to me recently. My husband's cousin also asked me if I'd lost a ton of weight. For the 35 years he's known me, I have been a size 8-10, never fluctuating more than five pounds. I think I just was wearing something particularly slimming that day.

When I simply answered no, my husband exhorted me to say thank you for the "compliment." I looked at both of them and said, "You're assuming that weight loss is always someone's default desired outcome." And gave my husband more of an earful later in private. I don't know why people feel entitled to make these stupid remarks.

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was really proud of myself when this happened to me recently. My husband's cousin also asked me if I'd lost a ton of weight. For the 35 years he's known me, I have been a size 8-10, never fluctuating more than five pounds. I think I just was wearing something particularly slimming that day.

When I simply answered no, my husband exhorted me to say thank you for the "compliment." I looked at both of them and said, "You're assuming that weight loss is always someone's default desired outcome." And gave my husband more of an earful later in private. I don't know why people feel entitled to make these stupid remarks.

THIS - asking someone if they lost weight is not a compliment. It's a question. Just say they look great today without any other commentary. If they want to tell you the they lost weight, they will. If not, they will say thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have just said “no,” or “I’m not sure.” It drives people crazy. Rude people who are rude enough to comment on weight loss, that is.

This is what I do. I've lost about 30 lbs over the past 12 months as the result of some medication I'm taking for an unrelated illness. I'm honest with my close family, since the illness isn't a secret, but the most random people have asked me "Have you stopped eating?" and "Have you lost weight?" and every time I just look at them like a slightly confused Golden Retriever and pretend I have no idea what they are talking about.

I get it and don't blame you eso in your case.

but Being intentionally dishonest seems odd esp as they can tell you are lying. Or is that the point? To gaslight them?

What about just completing ignoring the topic and not answering and saying "have you read any good books lately"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband lost 75 lbs using wegovy, exercise, and careful diet. He now does serious weight training and cardio. He loves it when people notice because it’s validation of all his efforts.

Awesome. That’s why it’s fine to say something like, “You look great” or “It’s great to see you,” because the people who want to talk about that can easily use that as their opening.

"It's great to see you" would be an opening for someone to say "I've lost weight"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do I say if 1) if you knew me 5 years ago you would know that I weighed less (in a good way) than I do now and always had until then 2) I had a serious mental health crisis and went on meds that made me gain significant weight 3) I will keep losing weight to get back to how I had been

I feel like they are saying "you aren't as fat asyou used to be" and I want to say, I'm much fatter.

Nothing
Or "I gained a ton of weight rapidly and now I am losing it" if that's true and you want to

[Anonymous]

Fat people with attitudes. Great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have lost 40lbs over the past year. I see my in laws every few months. Today, my mother in law, who I last saw at Christmas (and mind you, I have only lost 4lbs since Christmas) looked me up and down and said "Have you lost a TON of weight?". I said "yes" and she promptly asked me how. No compliment in there or anything. Don't do that to people, folks. It's incredibly rude. Just don't talk about weight. Ever.

Is she also trying to lose weight? Is anyone else in the family fat?

It doesn't matter. It's always rude to ask someone about their weight.

Some people in this world are SO SENSITIVE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it

Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.

Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.

+1.

This new age of weight loss injectables is so funny to me. People are proud to show off their bodies and the weight they lost, but they get so offended when people ask or assume they're on an injectable (when they are).

They want people to compliment their weight loss/body, but they also want people to believe they earned it through diet and exercise. Almost as if they're intrinsically ashamed that they cheated their weight loss, but need the extrinsic validation.

It's a weird phenomenon that we're seeing more and more of as the injectables become more and more popular. We're quickly becoming a world where people with a "healthy BMI" have the same clogged up arteries and mile run times as obese people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it

Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.

Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.

+1.

This new age of weight loss injectables is so funny to me. People are proud to show off their bodies and the weight they lost, but they get so offended when people ask or assume they're on an injectable (when they are).

They want people to compliment their weight loss/body, but they also want people to believe they earned it through diet and exercise. Almost as if they're intrinsically ashamed that they cheated their weight loss, but need the extrinsic validation.

It's a weird phenomenon that we're seeing more and more of as the injectables become more and more popular. We're quickly becoming a world where people with a "healthy BMI" have the same clogged up arteries and mile run times as obese people.

Lady, this has nothing to do with HOW someone lost weight. It has to do with tact, of which you clearly have none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it

Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.

Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.

+1.

This new age of weight loss injectables is so funny to me. People are proud to show off their bodies and the weight they lost, but they get so offended when people ask or assume they're on an injectable (when they are).

They want people to compliment their weight loss/body, but they also want people to believe they earned it through diet and exercise. Almost as if they're intrinsically ashamed that they cheated their weight loss, but need the extrinsic validation.

It's a weird phenomenon that we're seeing more and more of as the injectables become more and more popular. We're quickly becoming a world where people with a "healthy BMI" have the same clogged up arteries and mile run times as obese people.

Many of us do not want comments, validation, or compliments either. We just don't want our weight to be a topic up for discussion at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it

Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.

Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.

+1.

This new age of weight loss injectables is so funny to me. People are proud to show off their bodies and the weight they lost, but they get so offended when people ask or assume they're on an injectable (when they are).

They want people to compliment their weight loss/body, but they also want people to believe they earned it through diet and exercise. Almost as if they're intrinsically ashamed that they cheated their weight loss, but need the extrinsic validation.

It's a weird phenomenon that we're seeing more and more of as the injectables become more and more popular. We're quickly becoming a world where people with a "healthy BMI" have the same clogged up arteries and mile run times as obese people.

Lady, this has nothing to do with HOW someone lost weight. It has to do with tact, of which you clearly have none.

Oh, yes, it has to do with how they lost the weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you lose the weight? Why is it such a big secret. Why not be open about it

Why do you care? You’re just as ill-mannered as MIL.

Are you one of those over sensitive people who won’t admit to weight loss drugs? Everyone is talking about those people behind their backs. If it was me, I’d rather someone just ask.

+1.

This new age of weight loss injectables is so funny to me. People are proud to show off their bodies and the weight they lost, but they get so offended when people ask or assume they're on an injectable (when they are).

They want people to compliment their weight loss/body, but they also want people to believe they earned it through diet and exercise. Almost as if they're intrinsically ashamed that they cheated their weight loss, but need the extrinsic validation.

It's a weird phenomenon that we're seeing more and more of as the injectables become more and more popular. We're quickly becoming a world where people with a "healthy BMI" have the same clogged up arteries and mile run times as obese people.

OMG. This is so uninformed. People do not owe you explanations about their weight, their health, or the medications they use -- that is private — and you should spend time on things other than making assumptions about people’s arteries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Don’t ask personal questions period.
Better yet don’t ask me anything I can’t ask you.

You must have really interesting relationships with your family members (and yes, a MIL is part of your family.)