Mother Left 4.5M Estate to Unemployed, Alcoholic Sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:sounds like your sister can use the money

4.5 mil seems excessive doncha think?

It is what it is. The mom’s money to do what she wants with. It’s clear the OP doesn’t care for her sister or what happens to her so putting the money in a trust wouldn’t have helped.

But, yes. It’s clear that the sisters are both better friends fed if they cut contact.

[Anonymous]

OP, you lost me in your first post when you called your sister a loser. The obesity and hoarding point to serious mental illness. That does take a toll but your mom probably saw your lack of compassion and responded accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Damn. That sucks, OP. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, your mother didn't want to burden you and your brother.
This is her way, right or wrong....
She is giving your sister the power and relieving the burden from you, killing two birds with one stone!

*the power meaning maybe your sister always felt unloved so with $ all going to her now, it's your mom's way of saying to your sister "you need to snap out of it!!!"
Speaking from her grave to your sister, I'm just guessing. She also knew money don't buy happiness.

I think this is correct. OP and her brother don't need to care for the sister and won't be stuck with that burden. Sister is taken care of until she dies, and maybe feels positive about this development. The two successfully launched kids will be okay.

I wouldn't have made her the sole heir but I think it's inevitable that it would be significantly uneven. Even $1 million would not have been sufficient if your sister lives a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Well, considering how nasty you are I can see why your mother didn't leave you any money.

Is it nasty if it’s just facts? What would a 300 pound keyboarder do with $4.5M, spend it on knickknacks? Can she even manage the money? If the mother passed due to dementia or similar I would sue the estate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the mother truly wanted to avoid problems for OP and the healthy sibling, she would have created a trust with an executor who was tasked with ensuring the sister's well-being for the next 40 years or whatever. That person could have made sure she had a safe home, healthy food, healthcare, recreation, etc... for the rest of the loser sister's life.

The mother was either out of her mind or just wanted to send a FU from the grave to OP. Some people are just plain mean and stupid.

Maybe the mother had never heard of this. Op could sure the estate to make sure a trust is established for her sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Sorry Op that sucks. Your mother is not a good person. If she actually cared about your sister, she’d have set up a trust and involved you and your brother. What she did is stupid, irresponsible, and passive aggressive.

Don’t give your sister a dime when she blows it all—protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your mother didn't want to burden you and your brother.
This is her way, right or wrong....
She is giving your sister the power and relieving the burden from you, killing two birds with one stone!

*the power meaning maybe your sister always felt unloved so with $ all going to her now, it's your mom's way of saying to your sister "you need to snap out of it!!!"
Speaking from her grave to your sister, I'm just guessing. She also knew money don't buy happiness.

I think this is correct. OP and her brother don't need to care for the sister and won't be stuck with that burden. Sister is taken care of until she dies, and maybe feels positive about this development. The two successfully launched kids will be okay.

I wouldn't have made her the sole heir but I think it's inevitable that it would be significantly uneven. Even $1 million would not have been sufficient if your sister lives a long time.

“Taken care of?” That money will be gone in 3-5 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the mother truly wanted to avoid problems for OP and the healthy sibling, she would have created a trust with an executor who was tasked with ensuring the sister's well-being for the next 40 years or whatever. That person could have made sure she had a safe home, healthy food, healthcare, recreation, etc... for the rest of the loser sister's life.

The mother was either out of her mind or just wanted to send a FU from the grave to OP. Some people are just plain mean and stupid.

Maybe the mother had never heard of this. Op could sure the estate to make sure a trust is established for her sister.

* I specifically mean sue to have the $4.5 million put into a trust for your sister. Not sue to take the money for yourself. That should pay out about $12-15k per month pre tax and she will need it for health insurance and living expenses

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Well, considering how nasty you are I can see why your mother didn't leave you any money.

Is it nasty if it’s just facts? What would a 300 pound keyboarder do with $4.5M, spend it on knickknacks? Can she even manage the money? If the mother passed due to dementia or similar I would sue the estate

Since OP is non-loser, she can maje her own money, no? Why worry about what her mom passed down?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't even know what to think. My brother and I were completely cut out. There was no drama. Where do I start to unravel this?

Similar happened on my husband's side of the family. His sister was a deadbeat pretending to be married to a deadbeat. Never actually married but told his parents they were. They got like 80% of the estate, which was a couple million bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is your aunt is irresponsible with money, your mother should have made a trust, perhaps with you children in charge. And a portion of the inheritance to you two, of course.

Sister not Aunt

[Anonymous]

I would not say another world to the sister unless she shares the inheritance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your mother didn't want to burden you and your brother.
This is her way, right or wrong....
She is giving your sister the power and relieving the burden from you, killing two birds with one stone!

*the power meaning maybe your sister always felt unloved so with $ all going to her now, it's your mom's way of saying to your sister "you need to snap out of it!!!"
Speaking from her grave to your sister, I'm just guessing. She also knew money don't buy happiness.

I think this is correct. OP and her brother don't need to care for the sister and won't be stuck with that burden. Sister is taken care of until she dies, and maybe feels positive about this development. The two successfully launched kids will be okay.

I wouldn't have made her the sole heir but I think it's inevitable that it would be significantly uneven. Even $1 million would not have been sufficient if your sister lives a long time.

“Taken care of?” That money will be gone in 3-5 years.

How wil it be gone? If it's parked in bonds shes making ~$196,000 a year without touching the principal. She owns her condo. Utilities and hoa fees might be $500 a month How will a morbidly obese shut in spend the other $17,000 coming in every month?

[Anonymous]

I tend to agree with PPs who say this was your mom's way of letting you off the hook. It sucks and feels hurtful and wasteful. But you have no moral or financial obligation to your sister anymore, so maybe consider the freedom your inheritance.