Mother Left 4.5M Estate to Unemployed, Alcoholic Sister

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She didn't think you needed it...probably because she's enabled your sister for years and is continuing to do so. Alcoholism sucks. It is the #1 factor that destroys generations.

This and clearly shes the golden child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Calm down,OP. Don’t call your sister a loser, she may be struggling with something. She doesn’t need to be employed to have a life. Relax, I k kw it might be hard but who knows maybe she’ll put the money to good use.

"May be"? From the hoarding alone, we can tell that she's probably on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety. Hoarding is closely related to anxiety and inability to triage, and current theories explain it as an off-shoot of autism.

This doesn't mean she "deserves" more money than her siblings. OP's mother made a poor choice.

[Anonymous]

I'm guessing mother didn't believe the sister would survive the rest of her life on 1.5M, so decided to give her the whole thing. I'm also guessing that this sister was more a part of the mother's life than the other 2 siblings who were living normally.

Whatever the case, I'm sorry, OP. That su*ks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Calm down,OP. Don’t call your sister a loser, she may be struggling with something. She doesn’t need to be employed to have a life. Relax, I k kw it might be hard but who knows maybe she’ll put the money to good use.

"May be"? From the hoarding alone, we can tell that she's probably on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety. Hoarding is closely related to anxiety and inability to triage, and current theories explain it as an off-shoot of autism.

This doesn't mean she "deserves" more money than her siblings. OP's mother made a poor choice.

Exactly. Throwing money at the train wreck of a sister pretty much guarntees she will have no safe guards. If OP's mom wasn't a moron, she would have put the money in a trust and had the normal kids give her an allowance. Now, the money will be lost. The daughter goes bankrupt and becomes the problem for the brothers. That is, if they take her. I know I wouldn't ever talk to my sister again if she took 5 million dollars from our parents and gave me nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

There is a reason your sister is this way - your mom probably knows the reason and you don’t. Have sympathy. Your mom might even blame herself. Maybe you sister was abused or had a terrible trauma that was kept from the family. Anyone who is 300lbs has mental issues, same with alcoholics - she’s both. Something happened!

[Anonymous]

She needs help, help that she hasn’t gotten for many years. If you won’t help her, then let her be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Calm down,OP. Don’t call your sister a loser, she may be struggling with something. She doesn’t need to be employed to have a life. Relax, I k kw it might be hard but who knows maybe she’ll put the money to good use.

"May be"? From the hoarding alone, we can tell that she's probably on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety. Hoarding is closely related to anxiety and inability to triage, and current theories explain it as an off-shoot of autism.

This doesn't mean she "deserves" more money than her siblings. OP's mother made a poor choice.

Exactly. Throwing money at the train wreck of a sister pretty much guarntees she will have no safe guards. If OP's mom wasn't a moron, she would have put the money in a trust and had the normal kids give her an allowance. Now, the money will be lost. The daughter goes bankrupt and becomes the problem for the brothers. That is, if they take her. I know I wouldn't ever talk to my sister again if she took 5 million dollars from our parents and gave me nothing.

Well, let's be clear here. The sister, regardless of her issues, did not "take" anything from her parents. The mother choose the sister and it is legalized in an estate document/Will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d start with a lawyer. Did you and your mom have a good relationship?

Asking genuinely. What can a lawyer do? Isn't it the mother's right to leave her estate to whomever and however she wishes?

[Anonymous]

If all is legit and not contestable I would completely cut out that sister from my life. Or, maybe I would try to salvage some money from her, it depends on how open she is to sharing.

[Anonymous]

Poor sister, just let her have it. 4.5M isn’t that much anyways.

[Anonymous]

That is a ot of money. My sympathies, OP. Had you seen a previous version of the will? When was this version made? Was something going on with your mom then?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:sounds like your sister can use the money

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

Calm down,OP. Don’t call your sister a loser, she may be struggling with something. She doesn’t need to be employed to have a life. Relax, I k kw it might be hard but who knows maybe she’ll put the money to good use.

"May be"? From the hoarding alone, we can tell that she's probably on the autism spectrum with severe anxiety. Hoarding is closely related to anxiety and inability to triage, and current theories explain it as an off-shoot of autism.

This doesn't mean she "deserves" more money than her siblings. OP's mother made a poor choice.

Exactly. Throwing money at the train wreck of a sister pretty much guarntees she will have no safe guards. If OP's mom wasn't a moron, she would have put the money in a trust and had the normal kids give her an allowance. Now, the money will be lost. The daughter goes bankrupt and becomes the problem for the brothers. That is, if they take her. I know I wouldn't ever talk to my sister again if she took 5 million dollars from our parents and gave me nothing.

Sister might truly benefit from no contact given how OP talks about her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If all is legit and not contestable I would completely cut out that sister from my life. Or, maybe I would try to salvage some money from her, it depends on how open she is to sharing.

you would cut out the sister because of the choices the mother made? or because of something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here to clarify.

The unemployed alcoholic is my sister. She is 48 and hasnt worked since she was 26. She is a loser. Her life is a wreck. She's 300 pounds and lives in a condo my mother bought. It's stuffed to the rafters with trash. She watches TV and posts on the internet all day. That is her life.

My brother and I both put ourselves through college and have decent jobs and stable lives. We are 'normal'.

Giving 4.5 million dollars to our sister is the same as throwing it from the top of a skyscraper.

I would definitely explore a lawsuit/challenging the will. Even threatening it to get your sister to share or put the money in a trust.

The family relationship is already broken and ruined. I think I’d rather force the issue and fail than live with the knowledge that I capitulated.