16yo DD Refused to Enter School for Conference

[Anonymous]

Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

[Anonymous]

I would have let her stay in the car. I try ink you taught her that it is OK to be late a mtg.

I get the teachers wanted her there, she didn’t want to go. I’d let her deal with the teacher separately.

It how rude were you when you kept everyone waiting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

[Anonymous]

Power struggles aren’t worth it. In the moment, you go to the conference and explain to the teachers that your child has refused to attend but you still want whatever information they can provide about her performance.

After conferences, you express your disappointment and explain there will be a consequence. Take up to a day to think of a reasonable and logical consequence.

In the mean time you start researching mental health support. That level of avoidance is typically related to anxiety or a relationship issue with a parent. Don’t let this fester.

[Anonymous]

Address what she is embarrassed or afraid of, not the situation itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

Have you ever had to run from your dad as a teen? Me neither. Running away from your father is not 2 yo behavior. It's a behavior that is a consequence of having been abused. She knew that if she was caught, she'd be forced to do what she didn't want to do. It's obviously not the first time. The way the parents handle her is that she has to do what she is told, if necessary, by force. The father does this, because he's physically stronger and the mother approves. Now imagine yourself in her shoes.

[Anonymous]

The correct approach would have been letting her stay home and doing the conference solo. Then later asking her who she wanted to avoid seeing at school, because it's obvious she wanted to avoid a close interaction with a particular teacher. You'll never get your kids to open up to you if you act like a toddler like OP and her ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

Have you ever had to run from your dad as a teen? Me neither. Running away from your father is not 2 yo behavior. It's a behavior that is a consequence of having been abused. She knew that if she was caught, she'd be forced to do what she didn't want to do. It's obviously not the first time. The way the parents handle her is that she has to do what she is told, if necessary, by force. The father does this, because he's physically stronger and the mother approves. Now imagine yourself in her shoes.

Yes, it’s SO abusive to make your teenager go to her school conference.

Most of you people sound nuts, and like you’re raising emotionally fragile entitled brats.

Her behavior was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

Have you ever had to run from your dad as a teen? Me neither. Running away from your father is not 2 yo behavior. It's a behavior that is a consequence of having been abused. She knew that if she was caught, she'd be forced to do what she didn't want to do. It's obviously not the first time. The way the parents handle her is that she has to do what she is told, if necessary, by force. The father does this, because he's physically stronger and the mother approves. Now imagine yourself in her shoes.

Yes, it’s SO abusive to make your teenager go to her school conference.

Most of you people sound nuts, and like you’re raising emotionally fragile entitled brats.

Her behavior was ridiculous.

The OPs and her Exs behavior is ridiculous and abusive. The fact that for you chasing another person down on a parking lot to force them to go somewhere is normal speaks for itself. Somebody who sees it will surely call the cops next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

Have you ever had to run from your dad as a teen? Me neither. Running away from your father is not 2 yo behavior. It's a behavior that is a consequence of having been abused. She knew that if she was caught, she'd be forced to do what she didn't want to do. It's obviously not the first time. The way the parents handle her is that she has to do what she is told, if necessary, by force. The father does this, because he's physically stronger and the mother approves. Now imagine yourself in her shoes.

Yes, it’s SO abusive to make your teenager go to her school conference.

Most of you people sound nuts, and like you’re raising emotionally fragile entitled brats.

Her behavior was ridiculous.

The OPs and her Exs behavior is ridiculous and abusive. The fact that for you chasing another person down on a parking lot to force them to go somewhere is normal speaks for itself. Somebody who sees it will surely call the cops next time.

+100 Op and her ex acted worse than a teenager, and for all the energy they expended on this show of power they still have NO idea why the kid wouldn't go in to meet the teachers. This was an opportunity to get information from their kid about something that was seriously distressing their kid, and blew it on some petty show of who's boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did she think acting like a two year old in public was okay??

There needs to be consequences.

I don’t think she was acting like a 2 year old. What specifically was wrong with her behavior? She did not want to go.

Literally running from your parents in parking lot and needing to be physically carried into school to go to conferences is not in the realm of normal behavior. I get she didn’t want to go, but this is extreme.

Have you ever had to run from your dad as a teen? Me neither. Running away from your father is not 2 yo behavior. It's a behavior that is a consequence of having been abused. She knew that if she was caught, she'd be forced to do what she didn't want to do. It's obviously not the first time. The way the parents handle her is that she has to do what she is told, if necessary, by force. The father does this, because he's physically stronger and the mother approves. Now imagine yourself in her shoes.

Yes, it’s SO abusive to make your teenager go to her school conference.

Most of you people sound nuts, and like you’re raising emotionally fragile entitled brats.

Her behavior was ridiculous.

The OPs and her Exs behavior is ridiculous and abusive. The fact that for you chasing another person down on a parking lot to force them to go somewhere is normal speaks for itself. Somebody who sees it will surely call the cops next time.

Nobody says it’s normal, ding dong, but it’s not normal because the teen is acting like a toddler.

[Anonymous]

Public schools required by law. And DD is a minor, so her biological father picking her up and carrying her into the school against her will is in full accordance with the law, and appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Public schools required by law. And DD is a minor, so her biological father picking her up and carrying her into the school against her will is in full accordance with the law, and appropriate.

+1.

It was either that, or a school truancy officer could have placed her in handcuffs and dragged her into the conference.

[Anonymous]

School conferences are not mandatory and nobody cares if you attend or not. There are no truancy laws affected. Nobody is going to handcuff you to drag you into a conference. Familiarize yourself with basic laws and your obligations as a parent before having kids. You people need child protective services sent after you.