Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids

[Anonymous]

Being a stay at home mom to two kids was a MUCH harder life for me vs a working mom of 4. When you stay at home your house is trashed, you are constantly structuring activities and things to do and making meals. You are ON 24/7. When I went back to work I had NO idea how much easier it would be to maintain my home when my kids werent IN in 8.75 hours a day. Now its like dinner/baths/one short game and the day is over. When you stay at home its 6 am to 9 pm, 20 plus different 30 min activities. I LOVED staying at home but it really was harder than my accounting job and having three different am and pm drop offs. So, sorry. But less kids can be harder.

[Anonymous]

I only have one largely because we are both low capacity parents, and I try my best to relish how easy one is for traveling and everything else. I feel sad about only having one sometimes, but I don’t feel bad about it. There’s no prize for having more kids. I do the best job I can parenting my one, and I think that’s perfectly okay.

[Anonymous]

We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

If you work full time, how are you doing "75% of things" with the kids when "DH is in the office."

Are you a troll, OP? I smell a troll...

They have a nanny, housekeeper, yard service and babysitters. It’s easy to have that attitude with a lot of help.

And then pick your kids up at 5-6pm. You really only have to do childcare only a couple hrs before bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

Lol. Lots of kids are easy when other people take care of them. Classic DCUMs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

Why do you judge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

I’m guessing you’re too simple to be overwhelmed by much of anything.

“Ignorance is bliss” is a saying for a reason…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

Why do you judge?

I'm not proud of it, but I suppose it's when I feel someone is shorting their kid or being negligent or selfish. Examples are when someone allows their kids to run around the neighborhood unchecked, bothering other people, without rules or supervision. Or, in the case of teens, a parent who allows a kid to get multiple speeding tickets without consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cookie for you! Choke it down.

So dramatic. Guess you felt attacked. 😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Let's hear from the older kids how their lives are easier with each new sibling.

My older three are boys who don’t really help out. Eight kids ranging in age and independence is obviously easier than 2 toddlers and a newborn. Only my younger two are home all day, so its very easy and calm.

Then you’ve failed as a parent. Weird to feel the need to share that on a public message board, but OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

This post is cracking me up because OP waltzed in with all her mom-of-four-and-it's-easy energy and then PP was like "baby, no one is more smug than a mom of an only who thinks she literally invented good parenting -- watch me cook."

I'm also a mom of an only so this isn't only child judgment here. Just sitting back and enjoying the Smug Off between two of the smuggest mom archetypes you can find. Waiting for the mom of twins or triplets to enter the chat, perhaps mom of the gifted and talented kids who are simply "so hard to challenge!" -- maybe I'll go make some popcorn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

This post is cracking me up because OP waltzed in with all her mom-of-four-and-it's-easy energy and then PP was like "baby, no one is more smug than a mom of an only who thinks she literally invented good parenting -- watch me cook."

I'm also a mom of an only so this isn't only child judgment here. Just sitting back and enjoying the Smug Off between two of the smuggest mom archetypes you can find. Waiting for the mom of twins or triplets to enter the chat, perhaps mom of the gifted and talented kids who are simply "so hard to challenge!" -- maybe I'll go make some popcorn.

I can see how you feel this way but I'm just relaying my experience and am not apologetic for who I am and who my kid is. That's why I said to each their own. We are who we are, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

Why do you judge?

I'm not proud of it, but I suppose it's when I feel someone is shorting their kid or being negligent or selfish. Examples are when someone allows their kids to run around the neighborhood unchecked, bothering other people, without rules or supervision. Or, in the case of teens, a parent who allows a kid to get multiple speeding tickets without consequences.

But you don’t want to be judged. To each their own! Best for our kid!

Could you be just a tiny bit hypocritical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have one, work full time, and didn't find it particularly hard (physically) but also not easy at all. We dedicated a tremendous amount of attention and resources to our kid - maybe too much - but it paid off in their achievements and growth and satisfaction with life. We had no outside childcare, and I was able to do pick-up most days. We are pretty Type A. When I look at some of my friends who parent differently, I can't help but judge them as hands-off or thoughtless or borderline negligent in some ways. So, to each their own, I guess? The way we parented worked for us pretty well but most of all, we feel like it was the best for our kid.

Well said and same!

[Anonymous]

Op I don't get people like you. How can you not see that people, kids, and circumstances are different and be grateful for what you have? You are an awful friend.