Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

This says a lot about you.

It really does. Op many of people with multiple kids will tell you that even amongst their own kids their are huge differences in how difficult the baby and toddler years are-colic, milk and soy allergies, unexplained good or bad sleeping with the same parenting strategies.

Also, your kids are little and I’d slow your roll a bit-I’ve seen people whose kids were easy as little kids be much more difficult as teens.

[Anonymous]

Some people are just perpetually frazzled. They could have a hamster and they’d be overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

Let's hear from the older kids how their lives are easier with each new sibling.

My older three are boys who don’t really help out. Eight kids ranging in age and independence is obviously easier than 2 toddlers and a newborn. Only my younger two are home all day, so its very easy and calm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

Nope, kids are not "mostly the same" at those ages. And some kids can be emotionally draining at those ages, not just physically taxing, it's just that yours were not.

Also sometimes people are dealing with private dramas of which you know nothing. Both my DH and I had family crises within the first year of becoming parents -- his dad was diagnosed with late stage cancer and my brother got divorced, which somehow led to my mom becoming deeply depressed. So in that first year, we were taking care of a baby and adjusting to being parents, but DH was playing therapist to his parents and dealing with his own grief, I was essentially losing a close family I'd really cared about (my SIL) to a contentious divorce, and my mom was turning to me for emotional support. Then shortly after our DC was born, a childhood friend of my DH committed suicide. DH's dad then died about a year later, and then Covid happened.

We wound up with just one child and were definitely overwhelmed a lot those first few years. Plenty of people I know have no idea about the extent of what we dealt with at that time and likely thought we seemed pathetically overwhelmed with "just" one child. Those people are ignorant, and I try not to hold it against them.

You don't know what goes on in other people's lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

I agree OP same with me.
DH traveled Monday -Friday the first 15 years of our marriage.

My sister both have one and it is always complain about how hard it is....

And I worked full time.

[Anonymous]

OP.why do you care? Maybe you need a hobby to stop thinking about others negatively negatively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP.why do you care? Maybe you need a hobby to stop thinking about others negatively negatively.

OP is a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

I agree OP same with me.
DH traveled Monday -Friday the first 15 years of our marriage.

My sister both have one and it is always complain about how hard it is....

And I worked full time.

Ironically, your sisters probably both grew tired of you talking about how your DH traveled M-F or about you worked full time, and may privately thought you complain too much about "how hard it is."

See how having zero empathy for other people always leads you to the same place no matter the circumstances?

[Anonymous]

I mean. You kept having kids. You had no choice but to adapt and more practice. 0-1 is the hardest transition. They might be more even keeled with more, or not.

Shitty of you to make any assumptions though. We’re all so much more than simply parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

You sound like a disengaged parent.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You are amazing. Do you have help? Have to do elderly care? Health issues for you or the kids? Financial issues? Most kids of three I see one is neglected and ignored for the favorite kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

This says a lot about you.

It says a lot about her kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

It’s easy when you are constantly dumping them on someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how it can be so difficult with just one or two kid. I have 3 and at one point had a newborn, 3 year old and 4 year old. I did 75% of things solo when DH was in the office.

Every time one of my kids is at a playdate or with friends and I only have 2 kids it feels like I have all this extra time and it’s so easy.

I feel bad and would never vocalize this since most of my friends have only 1 or 2 kids but whenever they complain at how hard it is I am always so confused. I don’t find 3 very difficult either and have always wanted more but that probably won’t happen.

I agree OP same with me.
DH traveled Monday -Friday the first 15 years of our marriage.

My sister both have one and it is always complain about how hard it is....

And I worked full time.

How much help did you have? Day care or nanny? Housekeeper? Yard person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

Ah I see. You outsourced your childcare. No wonder you had it easy.