Parents who are overwhelmed with one or two kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so jealous of people with easy kids. You have no idea how good you have it and are often so smug about your parenting.

I don't actually think they have easy kids. I think they are just neglectful parents. All kids have their challenges. A parent who is like "oh my kid is pretty set it and forget it" is just a bad parent. Maybe if they have a good co-parent or really involved grandparents or an excellent nanny, it will shake out okay in the end. But it's not so much that their kids are easy as that they just aren't trying that hard at parenting.

Like haven't you ever had a coworker who was like "oh this job is so easy" but then you realize that actually they just don't do it very well? I worked with a woman like this when I was an associate editor and her job was easy because she made a lot of mistakes but was unaware of them and didn't care when supervisors caught them and were like "please do this again." Eventually she got fired, but in the meantime, she though her job was really simple.

DP and I disagree. I have one incredibly easy kid and one incredibly hard kid. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

[Anonymous]

. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

This 100%

[Anonymous]

Nah. Many boys just would rather clean, scrub, or do hard labor than watch the little ones. And that’s largely fine. Even great. A different form of helping. (Obviously they shouldn’t be let off the hook of other household labor if they’re not well suited to babysitting. There are many more jobs to go around.)

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids as well (7 and younger) and initially I was kinda agreeing with OP but I also read another post here about not knowing what others are going through privately and cannot agree more with that other poster. Maybe some couples though a lot and it’s just… a lot.
Also, for us at least, our kids are generally good but no way in heck do I feel confident enough to take them out by myself… we got a runner and I’m not bout that life. So everyone is dealing with something. Good on you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so jealous of people with easy kids. You have no idea how good you have it and are often so smug about your parenting.

I don't actually think they have easy kids. I think they are just neglectful parents. All kids have their challenges. A parent who is like "oh my kid is pretty set it and forget it" is just a bad parent. Maybe if they have a good co-parent or really involved grandparents or an excellent nanny, it will shake out okay in the end. But it's not so much that their kids are easy as that they just aren't trying that hard at parenting.

Like haven't you ever had a coworker who was like "oh this job is so easy" but then you realize that actually they just don't do it very well? I worked with a woman like this when I was an associate editor and her job was easy because she made a lot of mistakes but was unaware of them and didn't care when supervisors caught them and were like "please do this again." Eventually she got fired, but in the meantime, she though her job was really simple.

DP and I disagree. I have one incredibly easy kid and one incredibly hard kid. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

This is so true!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Different kids are different. Different parents respond differently to the stimuli of parenting. Families have varying support systems and resources. Also parents can feel overwhelmed by one stage of parenting and handling another stage better -- you clearly liked/handled the newborn and toddler stage well but you may feel quite differently when you have three teens, whereas your friends who feel overwhelmed by 1-2 young kids could love that stage and privately wonder why you don't.

A good mantra for every parent when thinking about the ways in which other families may struggle is "there but for the grace of god go I." You never know how or when you may be humbled, but most of us are humbled at some point.

Agree with this early PP. There but for the grace of God go I. If OP is real, she is insufferable.

You will be humbled OP. Enjoy your time in the sun thinking you're perfect. And keep that smug arrogance deep under wraps or those around you will not be there for you when you are.

[Anonymous]

I thought of this thread again as my two teen daughters continue to struggle/compete over our love and attention. No matter what we do, someone is not happy about it. It is impossible for my husband and I to make everyone happy. And we have comfortable finances and are very involved parents. I am so upset and stressed out and I see no end in sight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

7-8 is easier than 3-4? OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so jealous of people with easy kids. You have no idea how good you have it and are often so smug about your parenting.

I don't actually think they have easy kids. I think they are just neglectful parents. All kids have their challenges. A parent who is like "oh my kid is pretty set it and forget it" is just a bad parent. Maybe if they have a good co-parent or really involved grandparents or an excellent nanny, it will shake out okay in the end. But it's not so much that their kids are easy as that they just aren't trying that hard at parenting.

Like haven't you ever had a coworker who was like "oh this job is so easy" but then you realize that actually they just don't do it very well? I worked with a woman like this when I was an associate editor and her job was easy because she made a lot of mistakes but was unaware of them and didn't care when supervisors caught them and were like "please do this again." Eventually she got fired, but in the meantime, she though her job was really simple.

DP and I disagree. I have one incredibly easy kid and one incredibly hard kid. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

+100 I never appreciated how easy my first kid was until I had the second.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

7-8 is easier than 3-4? OK.

It's the ages. Only two of her kids are very small, and three are old enough to help with the occasional needs of the 6 and 5 year olds.

When she had only 4, she had an infant, and a 2, 3, and 4 year old who needed help with almost everything.

It is probably *not* easier than if she had only kids aged 14, 13, 11 and 9 now.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 relatively easy kids. There are some kids who are just really difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so jealous of people with easy kids. You have no idea how good you have it and are often so smug about your parenting.

I don't actually think they have easy kids. I think they are just neglectful parents. All kids have their challenges. A parent who is like "oh my kid is pretty set it and forget it" is just a bad parent. Maybe if they have a good co-parent or really involved grandparents or an excellent nanny, it will shake out okay in the end. But it's not so much that their kids are easy as that they just aren't trying that hard at parenting.

Like haven't you ever had a coworker who was like "oh this job is so easy" but then you realize that actually they just don't do it very well? I worked with a woman like this when I was an associate editor and her job was easy because she made a lot of mistakes but was unaware of them and didn't care when supervisors caught them and were like "please do this again." Eventually she got fired, but in the meantime, she though her job was really simple.

DP and I disagree. I have one incredibly easy kid and one incredibly hard kid. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

+100 I never appreciated how easy my first kid was until I had the second.

My first kid is really hard. My second is much easier. Not simple but much less needs than older sibling. It is not age it is personality and learning disability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so jealous of people with easy kids. You have no idea how good you have it and are often so smug about your parenting.

I don't actually think they have easy kids. I think they are just neglectful parents. All kids have their challenges. A parent who is like "oh my kid is pretty set it and forget it" is just a bad parent. Maybe if they have a good co-parent or really involved grandparents or an excellent nanny, it will shake out okay in the end. But it's not so much that their kids are easy as that they just aren't trying that hard at parenting.

Like haven't you ever had a coworker who was like "oh this job is so easy" but then you realize that actually they just don't do it very well? I worked with a woman like this when I was an associate editor and her job was easy because she made a lot of mistakes but was unaware of them and didn't care when supervisors caught them and were like "please do this again." Eventually she got fired, but in the meantime, she though her job was really simple.

DP and I disagree. I have one incredibly easy kid and one incredibly hard kid. If you don't understand that easy kids exist, you clearly only have easy kids.

+100 I never appreciated how easy my first kid was until I had the second.

My first kid is really hard. My second is much easier. Not simple but much less needs than older sibling. It is not age it is personality and learning disability.

Same here. Woof, my first has been a doozy, although the us also loving and kind. Turns out he has adhd and ASD level 1. My second is much easier and is typically developing. I have a third kid who is a baby so the verdict is still out on her!

I’m not sure I would have been able to appreciate an easy kid if I’d hadn’t had a difficult one first!

[Anonymous]

How many hours a day are they in daycare? It’s not hard being a mom when you dump the kids at a center from 10+ hours a day and they’re asleep 12 hours a day so you only need to spend 2 hours a day with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a SAHM?

Op here - no I work full time. And yes I realize for the most part my kids are easy but kids, especially newborns through toddler years are all sort of the same. They demand a lot and are physically taxing.

Again I would never say this out loud (hence the anonymous board post) but I still think. I have done solo trips and outings with my kids since they were babies.

If you work full time, how are you doing "75% of things" with the kids when "DH is in the office."

Are you a troll, OP? I smell a troll...

Op - I am not a troll. When I am working kids are either in daycare or school. When they arent in school I take care of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having 3 & 4 kids the hardest for me.

Now, I’m four months postpartum with #8 (other kids are 14,13,11,9,6,5,2) and it’s much easier.

ICK

Plus another ICK!