Moms, What Do You Give Teachers at Christmas?

[Anonymous]

We give Christmas cookies in a decorative tin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m one of the teachers who does not want anything and I’ll tell you why. I won’t use the gift cards and then it will be expected for me to write a thank you card back. You are giving me more to do for something I am not even going to use. Please stop with the gifts.

The teacher by me received a very nice GC to a restaurant and after school got out went class to class on our hall to see if anyone would use it. Hopefully she found someone. I said no and it reminds me to bring in my local ones from last year I never used, still in a drawer in my house.

You won't use Target or Amazon gift cards? I consider those equivalent to cash.

I’ll use Amazon. I never go to Target. I rarely shop inside stores anymore. I have a few Target GC from past years that I haven’t used. It’s not my go to store for anything.

Target delivers just like Amazon. Order laundry detergent or shampoo or something and be done with it.

I will eventually. I throw them in a draw and last want to go through the 10 and 20 GC to do that.

I might have given the Target ones away to my own kids. I don’t even remember. So many of us give these away to each other or our kids.

I sometimes give gift cards to the school social worker if they’re something she can use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

Yes, we all know that. That’s why PP said “not labeled, so they don’t get in trouble.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

Don't risk their career. If others hear about it they could get in trouble. Just follow the rules.

It’s a physical gift card. No one will find out and no one “risking their career.”

Were you a tattletale in elementary school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m one of the teachers who does not want anything and I’ll tell you why. I won’t use the gift cards and then it will be expected for me to write a thank you card back. You are giving me more to do for something I am not even going to use. Please stop with the gifts.

The teacher by me received a very nice GC to a restaurant and after school got out went class to class on our hall to see if anyone would use it. Hopefully she found someone. I said no and it reminds me to bring in my local ones from last year I never used, still in a drawer in my house.

You won't use Target or Amazon gift cards? I consider those equivalent to cash.

I’ll use Amazon. I never go to Target. I rarely shop inside stores anymore. I have a few Target GC from past years that I haven’t used. It’s not my go to store for anything.

Target delivers just like Amazon. Order laundry detergent or shampoo or something and be done with it.

I will eventually. I throw them in a draw and last want to go through the 10 and 20 GC to do that.

I might have given the Target ones away to my own kids. I don’t even remember. So many of us give these away to each other or our kids.

I sometimes give gift cards to the school social worker if they’re something she can use.

You can also donate them to homeless and women's’ shelters as well as diaper banks who are always desperate for gift cards. You could use them to shop online at the DC Area Diaper Bank wish page.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies.

Not the same thing at all. No one is making you give the same amount. You can give the max allowed to the teacher you like and give a smaller gift or even nothing to the one you don't.

Yes, I do. The generic teacher gets $20 from target. It’s no one‘s business one to stand out teacher gets unless she chooses to share that information. What would be unfair is giving her such a token gift which does not at all reflect the obvious effort and care she’s putting into my child.

It's the school district's business. That is why there is a policy. I hope someone reports you!

God, you all sound like 8-year-olds. “I hope someone TELLS! OMG!” (insert dramatic foot stomp here)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher and a parent, we don't expect or want gifts. We want your child to be on time, prepared to learn, present every day possible, and supported at home.

If you really feel called to give a gift, write a kind note about how I've impacted your child. If you absolutely must put in a gift card, $5 or $10 is plenty.

More than that often comes off as a bribe--seriously.

My understanding is that $20-30 is a totally normal amount for an elementary teacher holiday gift card in our district. I can't imagine it being viewed as a bribe.

I also don't write a note to the teacher because, frankly, I don't know them that well. My kid writes a note.

NP:

This forum is so odd.

Teacher: "This" is what we want. Please don't do "that".
Parent: No, you're wrong, I'm going to do "that".

Every year teachers ask for notes, not money. Just write the damn note and forgo the money.

What interactions have I had with the teacher?

"Thank you for sending home a weekly email update about what is being taught and for selecting appropriate autogenerated comments about my kid on their report card."

No graded work is sent home since everything is on Canvas and they don't even write a comments on the report card anymore. The main teacher didn't do conferences this fall. My kid doesn't report on their day beyond "fine", so I know almost nothing about what happens in class.

My kid can write a thoughtful note.

Your kid didn’t do conferences in the fall, and you didn’t pursue an individual conference, first contacting the teacher to request one and then addressing your concerns to administration? Why don’t you advocate for your kid? So weird and passive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a teacher and a parent, we don't expect or want gifts. We want your child to be on time, prepared to learn, present every day possible, and supported at home.

If you really feel called to give a gift, write a kind note about how I've impacted your child. If you absolutely must put in a gift card, $5 or $10 is plenty.

More than that often comes off as a bribe--seriously.

My understanding is that $20-30 is a totally normal amount for an elementary teacher holiday gift card in our district. I can't imagine it being viewed as a bribe.

I also don't write a note to the teacher because, frankly, I don't know them that well. My kid writes a note.

NP:

This forum is so odd.

Teacher: "This" is what we want. Please don't do "that".
Parent: No, you're wrong, I'm going to do "that".

Every year teachers ask for notes, not money. Just write the damn note and forgo the money.

What interactions have I had with the teacher?

"Thank you for sending home a weekly email update about what is being taught and for selecting appropriate autogenerated comments about my kid on their report card."

No graded work is sent home since everything is on Canvas and they don't even write a comments on the report card anymore. The main teacher didn't do conferences this fall. My kid doesn't report on their day beyond "fine", so I know almost nothing about what happens in class.

My kid can write a thoughtful note.

Your kid didn’t do conferences in the fall, and you didn’t pursue an individual conference, first contacting the teacher to request one and then addressing your concerns to administration? Why don’t you advocate for your kid? So weird and passive.

A different reacher subbed for conferences. You want me to request an individual conference so I have something to write in a Christmas card?

What does my kid need me to advocate for? You mean pay a gift card bribe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Cash. Not gift cards, cash. Plus a nice note from my child

+1
We are giving cash. It feels a bit weird but way less fussy than a gift card. And kids write a nice note.
Guys, is it ok to give $20? For cash, the extra $5s and $10s are a lot, and we give to a lot of teachers and admin, and inflation is crazy. We both got salary decreases just from inflation this year.
Who wouldn't like a nice $20? I wouldn't say no!

This is a gift for a teacher who likely has a master's degree in their field, not a tip for the Doordash delivery person. Stick to a nice note from the student. Or a gift card. Not cash.

100% disagree. Professional employees are given cash bonuses, not gift cards. Gift cards are some pink collar thing to denigrate the work that professionals do.

NP. A gift from a little kid isn’t a “cash bonus” for an employee. A kid giving their teacher a gift card from Target does not denigrate the teacher’s profession. Jfc

Would you tip your lawn guy a gift card?

It’s weird that you don’t understand the difference between a tip to a professional who does a great job but with whom you do not have a personal relationship, and a gift to a professional who knows your child well and keeps you updated on progress, praise, and problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies.

Not the same thing at all. No one is making you give the same amount. You can give the max allowed to the teacher you like and give a smaller gift or even nothing to the one you don't.

Yes, I do. The generic teacher gets $20 from target. It’s no one‘s business one to stand out teacher gets unless she chooses to share that information. What would be unfair is giving her such a token gift which does not at all reflect the obvious effort and care she’s putting into my child.

It's the school district's business. That is why there is a policy. I hope someone reports you!

God, you all sound like 8-year-olds. “I hope someone TELLS! OMG!” (insert dramatic foot stomp here)

Why do you think you’re above the rules?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies.

Not the same thing at all. No one is making you give the same amount. You can give the max allowed to the teacher you like and give a smaller gift or even nothing to the one you don't.

Yes, I do. The generic teacher gets $20 from target. It’s no one‘s business one to stand out teacher gets unless she chooses to share that information. What would be unfair is giving her such a token gift which does not at all reflect the obvious effort and care she’s putting into my child.

It's the school district's business. That is why there is a policy. I hope someone reports you!

God, you all sound like 8-year-olds. “I hope someone TELLS! OMG!” (insert dramatic foot stomp here)

Why do you think you’re above the rules?

I’m the poster who started this controversy. I think I’ve been pretty clear, I think the rule is foolish. Unless you’ve never done 66 on a highway, you will understand that sometimes we substitute our own best judgment for the “rules”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We give Christmas cookies in a decorative tin.

Teachers do not want your homemade food. My teacher family member (elementary) always throws it out. Doesn't know the conditions in which it was made so will not eat it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies.

Not the same thing at all. No one is making you give the same amount. You can give the max allowed to the teacher you like and give a smaller gift or even nothing to the one you don't.

Yes, I do. The generic teacher gets $20 from target. It’s no one‘s business one to stand out teacher gets unless she chooses to share that information. What would be unfair is giving her such a token gift which does not at all reflect the obvious effort and care she’s putting into my child.

It's the school district's business. That is why there is a policy. I hope someone reports you!

God, you all sound like 8-year-olds. “I hope someone TELLS! OMG!” (insert dramatic foot stomp here)

Why do you think you’re above the rules?

I’m the poster who started this controversy. I think I’ve been pretty clear, I think the rule is foolish. Unless you’ve never done 66 on a highway, you will understand that sometimes we substitute our own best judgment for the “rules”.

Great values you're teaching your kid. The rules don't apply to me! I'm special! I know better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Gift card between $200-$300 (not labeled so they don’t get in trouble) a card my kid helps write and a small meaningful physical gift if that’s something that makes sense — one year we got a book she and I had been discussing signed by the author, for example. I email the principal.

Generic teachers $20 card to Target and a card my kid helps with.

At our public school teachers are not allowed to accept such a large gift. They'd have to turn it over to the school. Families are capped at giving no more than $100 per teacher per school year.

That’s why I don’t write the amount on it.

You are putting the teacher in an extremely awkward situation. When they go to use it and find out how much is on it, they are supposed to report it and hand it over to admin to handle giving back. Will they? Probably not...but then it's a really uncomfortable set up. If someone else finds out they didn't, they could get in trouble. Please don't do this.

If you are feeling extremely generous, $20 is appropriate. It's supposed to be a token gift, not an annual bonus.

--teacher

You may feel awkward. The teachers who I have gifted have not. One teacher selected different, perfect, books for mu advanced reader for the entire year and made tons of time to talk to her about them. The year before the teacher yelled at her for reading her own books when she finished the way below level class books. Preserving a child’s love of reading?? Deserves a serious recognition, not a token. A token is for the lazy teacher yelling at the advanced kids.

I thought you said the gift card was anonymous? If so, how would you know that they don't feel uncomfortable that you broke the policy and risked getting them in trouble?

You're bribing teachers for individual attention? Ick.

I didn’t say it was anonymous I said I don’t label the amount on the outside. The gift was in recognition of the work, and given in December, so it’s hardly a bribe.

If there is any chance that this teacher will

--write a recommendation for a magnet program
--complete a private school application form
--assign grades that affect the student after this year
--Select students for a specific role that not all children will get to do (student government, patrols, the lead in the play, sports team, whatever)
--write a college rec letter down the road

...then giving a gift that is so large your student stands out from the others is absolutely going to be seen as bribery. We talk in the teacher lunch room. I assure you we all discuss how to handle these uncomfortable situations.

If you want to thank the teacher for their work with a generous gift, save it for the last day of school, after all decisions regarding grades, placements, etc are made.

I have family members who are teachers and they say this happens every year, that the teachers know who the generous parents who appreciate their (genuine) efforts are, and that teachers appreciate their gifts.

If a teacher said to me they couldn’t accept it or it made them uncomfortable that would be different but they’ve told me they appreciate it and bought things for their classrooms so I don’t think I should go Scrooge because someone on the internet said so?

Also I have never asked for anything on your list.

You're specifically violating a school policy. You even said you're not writing the amount on the gift card to get around that policy. That's not okay.

It is a foolish policy, that expects me to give the same gift to a teacher who scolded my daughter for reading books as the one who clearly spent a lot of time thought and energy, making sure my daughter had a great material. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about following foolish policies.

Not the same thing at all. No one is making you give the same amount. You can give the max allowed to the teacher you like and give a smaller gift or even nothing to the one you don't.

Yes, I do. The generic teacher gets $20 from target. It’s no one‘s business one to stand out teacher gets unless she chooses to share that information. What would be unfair is giving her such a token gift which does not at all reflect the obvious effort and care she’s putting into my child.

It's the school district's business. That is why there is a policy. I hope someone reports you!

God, you all sound like 8-year-olds. “I hope someone TELLS! OMG!” (insert dramatic foot stomp here)

Why do you think you’re above the rules?

I’m the poster who started this controversy. I think I’ve been pretty clear, I think the rule is foolish. Unless you’ve never done 66 on a highway, you will understand that sometimes we substitute our own best judgment for the “rules”.

Great values you're teaching your kid. The rules don't apply to me! I'm special! I know better!

If you think your kid has never seen you break a rule you’re delusional. I am perfectly happy for my child to understand that when someone really goes above and beyond (and kids aren’t dumb they know what a mediocre/good/great teacher is) we make sure to show our appreciation and ensure that person gets recognition. You keep telling your kids to follow every “rule” no matter what.