Why can’t men just…be better?

[Anonymous]

Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

Lol

Actually if you look into it, they all had a mom or wife doing their work at work and at home.

Elon now has outgrown that model and hires a tribe of assistants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

Why cant women be less nagging? Also, why cant they look better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women's self improvement does not increase their partner satisfaction outcomes, in fact it maybe inverse correlated because they naturally have higher standards.

Men frequently sacrifice their happiness for their family. Women often sacrifice their family for their happiness. That's what I think of when I hear prattle about "self-improvement."

So many divorces happen when some therapist tells a woman to "self-actualize." She goes out and "improves" herself. Meanwhile, the husband is grinding away, providing for his family. Then they divorce and she discovers he actually WASN'T the source of her unhappiness.

Happens all the time.

😂😂😂. Who are we talking about here? Santa Claus??? 😂😂😂. Or like a figment of your imagination?

That’s the MRA “prattle” poster. He pops up in this forum on the regular. Ignore.

I'm no MRA guy, although prattle is a fantastic word, especially to dismiss crazy woman rants. I will push back on the rampant misandry on this site, though. As should everyone. It's toxic and has no place here in a parenting forum.

The misandry on this site is viewed as a feature, not a bug.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? [b]Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out the[/b]re? What is stopping them??[/quote]

You are not looking for the right men. All the men I know in my circle dress well, are ambitious and very successful.

If you were not able to get one of these men then it's a YOU issue. Other women snatched those men. Women are very good at finding men with potential and doing everything they can to keep them. Men aren't not very good in that area. If it were up to us to find the ideal women, most of us would be single and or end up with disastrous women. We are not good at picking the ideal women unless they showcase themselves first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in an affluent area. The guys around me seem good. I have two sons. Both are good looking, smart and athletic. All their friends are all good looking and will probably be good catches one day.

DH earns a seven figure income. His work is full of decent men. DH and I both attended top colleges and grad schools, both full of great men. The wives of these men are usually attractive and smart.

Dating is like musical chairs. One day you may not have a match if all the chairs get taken.

OMG, woman! Seriously, you don’t get it. “Good looking”, “smart”, “athletic”, “attractive” - your emphasis is all wrong and on the wrong things. You’re probably raising sexist a-holes. How about “caring”, “supportive”, “loving”, “kind”, “good decision makers”, “empathetic” - these qualities are in short supply, especially in men. There are plenty of successful men who would throw a friend under a bus to benefit themselves and then treat their women like commodities to be collected - women’s job it to cook clean and look after him, right?

So I have a unicorn of a husband who is an excellent provider, doting father and a strong role model for my boys. He is kind, supportive and trustworthy. I know I am lucky.

Provide some examples PP. Superlatives don’t cut it.

Do you work fulltime? Then you’d know that: show me don’t tell me. Basic due diligence. Skip the headline BS and go right to the examples that prove your headline. Or maybe they don’t….

NP here, but why on earth would the PP feel compelled, or even inclined, to demonstrate her husband's bona fides to you? It's apparently from your post that you'd go out of your way to pick apart anythign she says, anyway. She's happy with her husband. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

Actually, historians have been finding that some inventions, creations were started by women, but since society would not accept this from a woman, a man in the woman's life took the credit for it.

Also, men have f*up this world with wars and their greed, raping and pillaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree about genes and peacetime. All those ADHD men out there who would have run off to war and gotten themselves killed are now at home, making kids, and now we are ending up with girls born with ADHD, which shouldn’t be happening at all!! How on earth is a family supposed to function if the mom has ADHD? Insanity.

What the ableist eff is this? I'm a single mom with ADHD and my household runs just fine, thanks. It's not the life-ending excuse or perpetual mediocrity pass y'all seem to make it. People with ADHD can develop habits and strategies that make it manageable. People who use it as a crutch, or expect others to put up with their bs "because they have ADHD" aren't suffering from ADHD. They're exhibiting a crippling case of ASS (Adult Selfishness Syndrome/Adult Stupidity Syndrome)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

I wouldn’t bet on this as a winning argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men who had women feeding them, cleaning their homes, and caring for their children, leaving them liberated to invent, etc.

FIFY

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree about genes and peacetime. All those ADHD men out there who would have run off to war and gotten themselves killed are now at home, making kids, and now we are ending up with girls born with ADHD, which shouldn’t be happening at all!! How on earth is a family supposed to function if the mom has ADHD? Insanity.

What the ableist eff is this? I'm a single mom with ADHD and my household runs just fine, thanks. It's not the life-ending excuse or perpetual mediocrity pass y'all seem to make it. People with ADHD can develop habits and strategies that make it manageable. People who use it as a crutch, or expect others to put up with their bs "because they have ADHD" aren't suffering from ADHD. They're exhibiting a crippling case of ASS (Adult Selfishness Syndrome/Adult Stupidity Syndrome)

Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

I wouldn’t bet on this as a winning argument.

Off course you wont

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep bashing men while enjoying all the modern amenities, the vast majority of which were created by men.

Actually, historians have been finding that some inventions, creations were started by women, but since society would not accept this from a woman, a man in the woman's life took the credit for it.

Also, men have f*up this world with wars and their greed, raping and pillaging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

I dispute your premise. There must be something about you that is attracting bad men.

This is OP and it’s not about me: my husband is one of the unicorns (tall, high earner, great dad, dresses well, treats me like a princess). But his brother? His brother in law? Essentially worthless. My brother? Could use a lot of work, particularly when it comes to emotional intelligence and maturity. My sister’s boyfriend? Nearly twenty years older than she is and using her for her credit, essentially.

There’s a lot of duds out there, IRL. It’s not hyperbole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

I dispute your premise. There must be something about you that is attracting bad men.

This is OP and it’s not about me: my husband is one of the unicorns (tall, high earner, great dad, dresses well, treats me like a princess). But his brother? His brother in law? Essentially worthless. My brother? Could use a lot of work, particularly when it comes to emotional intelligence and maturity. My sister’s boyfriend? Nearly twenty years older than she is and using her for her credit, essentially.

There’s a lot of duds out there, IRL. It’s not hyperbole.

I dispute the basis for your premise - your family and posts on the internet - and your premise. Many do, so, no, we don’t all agree. Good men are not rare.