Why can’t men just…be better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

Why can’t women improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them?

Women are constantly doing all of the above. Single women looking for relationships are frequently advised to lose weight, dress better, improve their job/financial prospects, be friendlier, take up a hobby, go to therapy, work on themselves, etc. There are entire cottage industries dedicated to the self-improvement if women.

Men don't do this and it's rarely suggested to them. Single men looking for relationships just listen to podcasts and get red pilled.

Delusional take. Women are told to "be themselves" and that men should accept them as they are. Men are constantly told they are not good enough (like this thread) and given a laundry list of how to improve (aka supplicate to please some woman).

[Anonymous]

Why?

Because they only care about themselves, their needs, their wants, their day. That is it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I think they just don’t know how.

I’m dating one of those rare men, and he had multiple great examples of functional men while he was growing up and throughout his 20s. So he picked up a lot. His dad was great, always gave 120% at home, was super romantic with mom, emotionally anvailable, etc. I don’t know any other man who had a dad like that. Most men I’ve known had either absent fathers or fathers who did the bare minimum.

So I’m sure many want to do better, but they don’t know how. Yes, they could “learn” on their own, but it’s hard to learn that stuff from a book or podcast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Because they only care about themselves, their needs, their wants, their day. That is it.

+1. So real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are rare functional men. But the rest are just not up to our expectations-men are inferior to women. Once you accept this, everything is easier to navigate.

Men in general cannot multitask as well as women. They are good if you give them specific tasks and let them focus on that and don’t expect anything else. Go hunt, build, defend, play, etc. When you have a society that requires long range strategic thinking and communication skills and emotional intelligence, and the highest paying jobs are mental and not physical, women are clearly superior at those things. It’s only sexism and size that has held women back and now those things are improving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder why you and your friends don’t meet many quality men, OP.

Very mysterious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The world is too peaceful, especially for rich and stable democracies like the United States or Western Europe.

Before the useless men would be filtered out by wars. It's almost like they were meant to be thrown into meatgrinders. Women naturally gravitate towards the top 20% of men and would happily share than deal with the dregs.

Yes yes. All the women I know are happy to share their men.

[Anonymous]

Dress better? Your priorities are out of wack.

[Anonymous]

I mean, not a representative sample, but most of the men I know are good dads and spouses. We're talking about my kid's friends Dads, my coworkers, my husband's friends, my friend's husbands. There are exceptions, I do know some guys who can't hold down jobs and don't do housework, but they're the minority.

So I don't buy the premise that good men are rare. I think the internet just magnifies the worst stories and voices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why?

Because they only care about themselves, their needs, their wants, their day. That is it.

Perhaps some women should work on being less hyperbolic and judgmental.

-woman

[Anonymous]

Men need to see these other better men. They need to find some role models that they respect. Get them out of their homes and into more social settings. Get men to actually talk to each other about actual things.

[Anonymous]

Of course there are many man children out there. But what I also see is that they end up with very annoying women. They sort of find each other. Then the men sit around on golf courses complaining about their nagging wives and the women come on here to whine about how there are no good men. The good men and the relaxed women find each other. So if you’re on here complaining look in the mirror.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I think they just don’t know how.

I’m dating one of those rare men, and he had multiple great examples of functional men while he was growing up and throughout his 20s. So he picked up a lot. His dad was great, always gave 120% at home, was super romantic with mom, emotionally anvailable, etc. I don’t know any other man who had a dad like that. Most men I’ve known had either absent fathers or fathers who did the bare minimum.

So I’m sure many want to do better, but they don’t know how. Yes, they could “learn” on their own, but it’s hard to learn that stuff from a book or podcast.

Yeah, but they learn how to be jerks from podcasts, so why can’t it work the other way around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many relationship forum threads seem to devolve into the notion that “good” men (employed, functional) are rare - and I think we can all agree on that. That being the case, why can’t men just…improve themselves? Dress better, aim higher, work harder, get out there? What is stopping them??

Most threads about relationships on the internet are negative. People who are happy don’t post as much. So using that as your basis is flawed.

I disagree that functional men are rare. Your sample is skewed by who you know and associate with.

Aim higher, OP. Get out there into better circles.

[Anonymous]

Since women are so great, why do lesbian couples have the highest rates of divorce and gay couples have the lowest?