Am I overreacting to MIL’s push for bottles while I’m EBF?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of SAHMs do a bottle now and then too. It's smart to be prepared. I had an ectopic pregnancy when my baby was 14 months old and if I hadn't taught her to take a bottle, it would have been sooooo much harder. Emergencies happen.

You mean 4 months old??

Oops. Yes.

[Anonymous]

Every single mom I know that took advantage of their company’s generous maternity leave policy had a baby that wouldn’t take a bottle upon their return to work.

As someone else pointed out, your MIL got you milk storage bags. She’s not undermining your choices. You’re looking for something to be mad about.

And this is coming from someone that doesn’t have the warmest of relationships with my own MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a new mom to a five-week-old and currently EBF while on 12-week maternity leave. Things are going well with feeding, and I haven’t started pumping yet, though I do have a pump.

Here’s the issue: My MIL seems really uncomfortable with the fact that I’m EBF. Early on, she brought over a set of bottles and milk storage bags, saying I should have them “just in case.” I found it a little intrusive but let it go because new baby, new stress, picking my battles, etc. Fast forward to this past weekend, MIL visited again, this time with a family friend who brought a baby outfit and more bottles as a gift. The friend even said, almost apologetically, “they’re good to have, just in case.” I didn’t say anything in the moment, but I strongly suspect MIL had discussed my feeding choices with this friend. Now I’m silently stewing over it. My friends are split, some say it's sweet and well meaning, others say it’s boundary crossing and low key judgmental.

I’m honestly just looking for some outside perspectives here. Is this a harmless gesture, or is she subtly trying to undermine my choice to EBF?

She's trying to be supportive, but she's over the line. Lots of people find that they need bottles at some point. They are nice to have, just in case. She should have minded her own business, but she's not wrong.

Just ignore and enjoy your baby. Keep doing what you're doing. If you don't need all them, you can donate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a new mom to a five-week-old and currently EBF while on 12-week maternity leave. Things are going well with feeding, and I haven’t started pumping yet, though I do have a pump.

Here’s the issue: My MIL seems really uncomfortable with the fact that I’m EBF. Early on, she brought over a set of bottles and milk storage bags, saying I should have them “just in case.” I found it a little intrusive but let it go because new baby, new stress, picking my battles, etc. Fast forward to this past weekend, MIL visited again, this time with a family friend who brought a baby outfit and more bottles as a gift. The friend even said, almost apologetically, “they’re good to have, just in case.” I didn’t say anything in the moment, but I strongly suspect MIL had discussed my feeding choices with this friend. Now I’m silently stewing over it. My friends are split, some say it's sweet and well meaning, others say it’s boundary crossing and low key judgmental.

I’m honestly just looking for some outside perspectives here. Is this a harmless gesture, or is she subtly trying to undermine my choice to EBF?

She's trying to be supportive, but she's over the line. Lots of people find that they need bottles at some point. They are nice to have, just in case. She should have minded her own business, but she's not wrong.

Just ignore and enjoy your baby. Keep doing what you're doing. If you don't need all them, you can donate them.

She's not over the line. What line? Bottles are a pretty normal baby gift. New moms who don't know any better underestimate how picky babies can be about bottles so having a variety may very well come in handy, which they know. Or it's just another baby item that won't get used like the dozens of impractical receiving blankets that everyone gives or cute but impractical outfits.

[Anonymous]

OP just a little info from a mom who has #2 and EBF both but also had baby #2 at home for 8-9 months.

The numerous bottles would irk me unless she was giving a range because trying out different bottles can get expensive.
With that said, the whole bottle boycott issue can be stressful but also you could have high lipase randomly. My baby took plentiful pumped bottles from 0-3 months while Dad was home on paternity leave and then I nursed her exclusively from 3-8 months. She started daycare around 9 months and started refusing bottles. We couldnt figure it out because she would take the bottle from me sometimes.
Come to find out I was developing high lipase. I did NOT have high lipase in earlier months. My milk does not smell and its only the aftertaste thats an issue but after 6 months from the tap she wasnt having it. After the whole bottle boycott, we just ended up moving to sippy cups and it has been fine. I also add a bit of alcohol-free vanilla. But realizing it was lipase and not bottle refusal took awhile because there were no problems with previously stored milk.

People are weird about nursing. They just are. If you plan to go beyond a year, you need to learn to just grey rock and not respond. Its seen as a "bad habit" by some instead of nutrition, connection, hydration, etc.

[Anonymous]

OP, you have a long, long road ahead -- if you're going to be upset by this. Why not assume the best of people. Don't overthink this. Which is exactly what you are doing. Learn to say no. If you want. Saying no is so much kinder than holding a grudge and being resentful over an imagined slight. Just say, no thank you.