Am I overreacting to MIL’s push for bottles while I’m EBF?

[Anonymous]

Everyone gets so offended today. Accept the gift and move on with your life. I am 68 years old and breastfeeding was very common when I had my son 34 years ago so don’t be so quick to blame her age/beliefs. All that said, some babies have a difficult time dealing with the switchover to bottles. Since you plan to go back to work, don’t wait too long to introduce a bottle. Enjoy your baby!

[Anonymous]

It’s okay Op- take the bottles. I went through soooo many brands with my child trying to find one they will take. I think they should sell a bottle basket with different brands so you can find the right fit.

Also, I would start a bottle now. I went back at 4 months and my son reversed fed because he refused the bottle. Meaning, we (he and I) were up all night with him eating because he refused all bottles and only wanted to nurse when I was around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

You're being too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am confused. You plan to pump and bottle feed, starting in a couple months. Your MIL brought you a gift that will be very useful when you do this thing you plan to do and that she knows you plan to do.

How is that different from someone bringing a baby born in the summer a size six month sweater, or some spoons? People give baby gifts months in advance all the time.

This. I wouldn't read a lot into it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly you can choose not to make this a huge deal. You're controlling and over-sensitive behavior is only harming you. And it will shrink the village of loved ones for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

You're being too sensitive.

Yes, she's just had a life change.

She's finding her way. Big deal if she's sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Don't stew on this. Yes, your MIL probably does want to feed the baby, and yes she probably did not BF her kid because that wasn't as common then. But also bottles are a common gift, and people like to try many different kinds.

And, sorry, but you are going to need to bottle feed at some point. Even if you don't go into work in person, at some point in your baby's nursing span you would presumably like to go somewhere without the baby, or let your spouse feed the baby. Three to five weeks is a typical time to introduce a bottle of pumped milk a day.

[Anonymous]

Meh . It’s a gift. I’d be annoyed if she fixed a bottle of formula and gave it to the baby while
You were in the shower’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

OP, you're tired and experiencing a lot of emotions - which is perfectly understandable! But your instincts are off. "just in case" is not a tell that they've been gossiping about you. Personally I would read it as an acknowledgment that you're all about BF right now but they bought bottles because it's an easy accessible gift that might be useful somewhere along the line.

And as the PPs said, it is hell to go back to work with a baby that isn't used to bottle feeding. Use your leave time wisely to make sure the transition is as easy for both of you as humanly possible!

[Anonymous]

Yes, YTAH OP.

You want to take offense because that is the kind of person you are.

- Another DIL who is astounded by the abuse MILs are given on this forum.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay to politely tell someone not to tell you how to feed your child, regardless of their sincerity or intentions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

OP also knows she should clothe her baby. Does she intend to take offense to gifts of diapers and onesies?

lol exactly

Can’t you see, it’s not about the item, it’s about the boundary.

Bottles are nice gifts, pacifiers are nice gifts, diapers are nice gifts. But they aren’t nice gifts if they don’t align with the parents’ clear choices. That is the issue here.

She’s on week 5 of a 12-week maternity leave. Most daycares don’t offer a wet nurse service.

Don't bother giving OP any wisdom. I used to wonder who are the grandparents who are not interested in the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. I now know that they are basically grayrocking psycho DILs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s okay to politely tell someone not to tell you how to feed your child, regardless of their sincerity or intentions.

Raised by wolves, are you?

Polite means to take the gifts, thank the giver and then do you.

OP seems to be an inflexible thinker who holds on to grudges and perceived injustices. Her thought process is so messed up that she will basically isolate herself in the future.

[Anonymous]

I had an old school mom and she never really got to bottle feed either of my ebf babies. But boy did she enjoy making them food and having them love it all from toddlerhood. And now they like her food more than mine

[Anonymous]

New mom paranoia. Let it go. It sounds like she hasn't said anything, she's just given you bottles just in case. She probably asked her friends for ideas, and a lot of their kids struggled with breastfeeding. You'll need them eventually anyway.