Am I overreacting to MIL’s push for bottles while I’m EBF?

[Anonymous]

*a lot of people who DO

[Anonymous]

I would ignore if she is otherwise well meaning. This is what she knows and what was pushed when she was a new parent so it's ingrained in her that "that is the right way". The formula lobby was so so strong then.

[Anonymous]

Is she doing anything beyond the bottles? If not, I'd let it go. She's not being pushy. As for talking about it with her friend, my mom did the same. It was along the lines of "this isn't how we did things, why is she making so much more work for herself/making this such a big deal?". At the time I was irked, but it really wasn't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

It is traditional in our society to purchase gifts for new moms. It’s also common to buy gifts that will be useful down the road, and not just things that are immediately useful for a newborn. Almost all of the gifts are things that the new moms know how to purchase.

[Anonymous]

She can be well-intentioned AND undermine you, OP. This is what's happening. It's not sweet or rude, it just... is. Stash the bottles at the back of a cupboard and forget about them!

My mother and aunts all bottle-fed their kids and can't get over the breastfeeding thing. They were raised in a very uptight "health and bodies are taboo" culture and think breastfeeding is for people in African villages with no modern amenities (yes, they're all racist and classist and were not taught any science in school).

Too bad for them, and for your MIL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

OP also knows she should clothe her baby. Does she intend to take offense to gifts of diapers and onesies?

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

It is traditional in our society to purchase gifts for new moms. It’s also common to buy gifts that will be useful down the road, and not just things that are immediately useful for a newborn. Almost all of the gifts are things that the new moms know how to purchase.

I don't know about OP, but I'm very picky about baby items and prefer to buy my own. Especially when it comes to exposure to plastics. I bought glass ones.

[Anonymous]

It is also weird when people bring over a ton of one brand of bottles. My kid wouldn't use certain bottles and someone had given me like a dozen Philips Avent bottles that just took up space until I donated them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

I doubt you would have a strong negative reaction if someone bought your baby an outfit for next season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

OP also knows she should clothe her baby. Does she intend to take offense to gifts of diapers and onesies?

It depends. Are they disposables when you use cloth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. It wasn’t so much about the bottles themselves, because like someone upthread said, it’s like someone bringing a baby outfit for next season, just hoping it’ll fit. It was more about how she must have been discussing it with her friend, because they used the same phrase “just in case” and seemed almost reluctant and embarrassed, like she was coerced. Maybe I’m reading into it, but that was my instinct. It just didn’t feel well intended.

Someone said it and I sort of think they may be on to something: she is sad she can’t feed the baby, even though that day will come soon, hopefully—now I’m worried and thinking sooner than later for the bottles! (I have them from my pump system already.)

I doubt you would have a strong negative reaction if someone bought your baby an outfit for next season.

As I said.

[Anonymous]

Are these ones you'd use when you go back to work if you want to pump? If not, just pass them along to someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's annoying and maybe because your MIL wants the privilege of feeding the baby. Ignore.

+1

I know from experience that every annoyance can feel like a major issue during post partum and you may be feeling judged as a mother.

Decide what you want to do and if she doesn't take the hint, tell your DH to talk to her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t enjoy my MIL getting involved in how I feed the baby, but she’s right that you should get the baby used to taking a bottle if you’re planning to go back to work.

You don’t think OP knows that, and how to purchase bottles herself?

OP also knows she should clothe her baby. Does she intend to take offense to gifts of diapers and onesies?

lol exactly