How to frame burnout when needing to cancel on friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at OP's title post. It was about "the right words", how to "frame" the message. As if the right words will matter, make it better. It's not words, it's actions. So tired of "introvert" and "anxiety" as a crutch. It's a horrible learned behavior. Learned from a parent, likely, this, "I must be accommodated, I'm so special and fragile."

Get your sh*t together. Decide to deal with adult life. These friends, Op clearly doesn't prioritize them.

I wish we had more people in this world who cared about finding the right words and framing a message. It's called empathy: The post was about how to have empathy for good friends while also protecting oneself. You seem to be bringing a lot of baggage to this post, introducing new words like introvert, special, and fragile.

You do know that anxiety is a medical diagnosis, right? Just like a fractured hip or diabetes. I'm so tired of people who ignorantly spew the false belief mental health isn't an actual problem.

Also, nowhere in the post does ANYONE ask to be "accommodated." It was about canceling or showing up, not asking anyone to change plans.

You seem to be seeing this post through a deeply personal lens.

[Anonymous]

"Hey all, just a heads up that I truly do wish to get together tomorrow evening. I am starting a new medication and experiencing some side effects as I adjust to it. It is possible I may need to cancel depending on how things are going."

I would offer for them to come over for a very casual get together with takeout instead. The place will be a mess, I may be a mess, but I would still love to see you all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look at OP's title post. It was about "the right words", how to "frame" the message. As if the right words will matter, make it better. It's not words, it's actions. So tired of "introvert" and "anxiety" as a crutch. It's a horrible learned behavior. Learned from a parent, likely, this, "I must be accommodated, I'm so special and fragile."

Get your sh*t together. Decide to deal with adult life. These friends, Op clearly doesn't prioritize them.

You seem so mad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You literally wrote " while at the restaurant." Nice way to change the goalposts.

Have you never been to a restaurant with a parking lot? Rube.

Stop checking this thread, OP—it is all downhill from here. I am glad you got what you needed and didn’t have to do whatever “powering through” entails.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP!

I hope you had a good chat with your friends.

I wanted to say that I also would have had a hard time going out on a Friday night (an hour away!) after a long day at work, knowing I also had my child's 12th birthday party the following day, with my husband leaving the next day for a weeklong trip! Even if I weren't starting new meds or having a tough time with sleep etc. It would have really stressed me out too. I have a tough time doing more than one thing in a weekend!

Just try to make time to do something with your friends, soon, when you are feeling better!

[Anonymous]

Thank you! It all worked out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I promise you. (PROMISE) that if you drag yourself there and take a full (wash your hair even if you then put it in a wet ponytail) shower you will feel so much better.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, you're my friend. If you can't just tell me the truth that you are burned out or anxious or whatever, then we really aren't good friends; we're just acquaintances. Good friends allow you to show up authentically in your truth and don't criticize you for your struggles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally I think you should power through.

This is a lame idea. Be true to yourself OP.