How to frame burnout when needing to cancel on friends?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
Same. I think you should go. I'd want to know that my friend was struggling. Multiple cancellations would make me feel like she didn't care about me or our friendship and I may be inclined to step back to give space. I'd want to know how you really felt so I could be supportive or at least understanding. If the worst case happens and being honest and spending time with your friends is miserable, you'll have more data for making a decision next time. But presumably you've stayed in touch with these friends for a reason. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you be honored to hear how a friend was truly doing? |
Anonymous
| It’s never going to be the ideal time. Go. |
Anonymous
| Power through and let your friends help you. This was a long lesson learned. If they are your friends, they will help recharge you or just listen upon request. If done right it is FOR your mental health not against it. |
Anonymous
|
My first option would be power through but try to make it less stressful. For me, that would be invite friends over for takeout in sweats instead of going out.
Option 2 is just power through as planned (if you think the going out part is important to the friends) Last option is be honest with them that you are feeling totally burned out. I wouldn't do a white lie, that doesn't help anyone. |
Anonymous
| The issue for me - OP here - is that I can't veg all weekend due to family commitments (my DD's 13th birthday party) and my DH leaves on a weeklong wok trip Sunday evening. I'm just so frayed. Thanks for the input. i am going to see if we can go early so I can try for bed at a reasonable time. |
Anonymous
| I would not power through I would be 100% honest. People are really struggling with mental health this days. Keep it real and keep it honest real friends will totally understand. |
Anonymous
| I've been there a couple times. Each time I've forced myself to go and felt like canceling up until I actually saw them. And then I felt so much better afterwards. |
Anonymous
| Good, OP. Power through, if you are dealing with real friends that you enjoy and support you. I agree with others here, that I do feel better when I power through and go. Enjoy. |
Anonymous
| Tell them you are tired? It's not a big deal. |
Anonymous
| Power through. Tell them beforehand that you are feeling fragile and tired, and can they make it an early night. What friend wouldn't say yes to a request like this? |
Anonymous
| If you really can’t power through, make up a white lie and say you have COVID. I would roll my eyes so hard if you said that you were too burnt out to come. |
Anonymous
Agreed. You are nothing special, OP. We all work hard, we’re all busy, and we’re all worried about the state of our country and the future. Stop using your anxiety as a cop out. |
Anonymous
I hate when people lie AND create a situation where you worry about them. Friends might rally to make her feel better. Go out of their way to bring her something. She's on their mind even more. So wrong. |
Anonymous
+1 and then if they reschedule it, she might actually have Covid next time. Don’t weave tangled webs! |
Anonymous
Covid is mild in most people, so no need to worry. I’d be too embarrassed to talk about anxiety. |