past sexual history and financial status
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Anonymous
lol I keep hearing that women have “empathy” and yet they are completely unable to understand how men think or feel. Sweetie… every man has been turned down by numerous attractive women. That’s fundamental to the male experience. Yet it is important to understand that an attractive woman who has her pick of men isn’t necessarily going to sleep with a bazillion men. What gives you the ick? Whatever it is, let’s say a guy with that characteristic tries to browbeat and shame you into dating him anyway. Does that work? No, probably not. Ok, that said, women who sleep with a bazillion men give men the ick when it comes to commitment and marriage. Do you get it yet? |
Anonymous
I don’t get what you ate saying at all but whatever |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
So, did you tell your wife that you were a man whore during your player days? |
Anonymous
Unless they were lesbians, there were equal number of easy men. |
Anonymous
Do you have some incest fantasy? Why do you keep bringing up the sick scenarios? |
Anonymous
You are sad. |
Anonymous
Why are you such a loser? |
Anonymous
DP here, but I get this. I don’t understand why women are fighting you on it. If you are a woman who likes to have sex, you should marry a man who likes that about you. There are plenty of them out there. It’s ridiculous to hide this fact about yourself and go on to spend your life with a man who thinks that a woman who enjoys sex is shameful. You will be miserable together. |
Anonymous
Yeah, there’s some nuance here. I think most men are ultimately pretty flexible on the body count issue, but there are some circumstances where it creates problems. I mean, if you have a super intense sexual connection with somebody, it’s easy to not care—i seriously dated someone with a pretty high number once, we’d discussed that early on (not that I make a practice of pressing for detail on that issue, but it kind of organically often comes up in the “getting to know you stage”—I mean, its not like you have to be the Taliban Morality Police to be curious about someone’s past, I think its natural when you have a strong connection to want to know all about them), but because of the intensity of our connection it was a non-issue. I think when guys get hung up on the body count issue, it’s because there’s an underlying problem with that part of the relationship and the “number” issue is just the way it gets expressed. But this idea that it’s totally off-limits makes no sense to me—someone who has slept with 50 people definitely has a different relationship to sexuality than someone who has slept with 4, and its an important fact about that person when you are thinking about entering a permanent exclusive relationship. And its better to be transparent, things have a way of coming to light and its a very different conversation if there is a sense of misleading or deception involved. |
Anonymous
Yakis - this dude is disgusting . And I’m so glad my son went to a different college . I would say college culture is shameful in the US overall all these frats and sororities . It has to to stop |
Anonymous
+1 just be honest and it'll be better for you both. He can avoid the ick and you can avoid dudes with Madonna/whore complexes. Really, if you don't have shame with your sex you really don't want to be with someone who looks down on you for it. |
Anonymous
It’s okay of course to feel that way about sexually loose people. But few men would tell honestly they were participating in sex parties in college when dating a woman seriously. So I try to exercise my own best judgement about their behavior when dating me. And overall the dating culture where people first date non-exclusively implies that everyone has several partners when starting a relationship. Men themselves don’t go exclusive right away before having sex. It’s totally unreasonable and unrealistic to expect women to have low body count in this culture . All these people are dating someone. I would say a body count for a woman who just dates to find a monogamous relationship of 2-3 a year between longer relationships is totally normal . That would add up easily to couple dozens in a lifetime . Not everyone ends up married I had 2 partners between ages 21-45 because I married my second BF. By 47 I had 9, with post divorce dating. I do need sex |
Anonymous
Because the men who care about the number of men their potential partners have slept with rarely apply that same discretion to themselves. |
Anonymous
Well yeah, I don’t disagree with any of that, you do have to be reasonable in your expectations, and contrary to the discourse I think most men are as well. There’s a huge difference between a body count of 75 at age 23 and a body count of 12 if you’re still single at 28, say. One seems a little pathological, with the other is just life in the modern world. I personally think most people would be better served by earlier marriage and lower body counts in general—obviously catting around can be fun for all concerned, but it seems to me a second-best equilibrium and people would be better off if, in general, they paired off with someone they really liked sooner in life, but as you point out that’s not the world we live in. There’s also a lot of rage bait on the internet along the lines of “I’m engaged to this really great guy but haven’t told him that I was a sugar baby for 18 months in college, should I tell him?” These things may or may not be true stories, of course, but they get people feeling like the dating market can be a pretty adversarial place—it’s cultural pollution for clicks. It is both sad and understandable that my kids seem to be opting out of that process entirely, which seems relatively common for the zoomers. |