past sexual history and financial status

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finances yes, sexual history, no.

Look, no matter what, somebody’s feelings will get hurt if you disclose sexual history. Somebody had a threesome, or slept with a gorgeous celebrity, or paid a sex worker, or did something that will make the other person insecure.

It is fully possible to have a wild sexual experience and then go on to have a very happy, monogamous relationship. But there’s zero need to introduce any doubt by bringing up sex that may make the other person uneasy.

So it is ok not to disclose to your potential husband that you slept with the entire UVA football team because you don’t want to make him feel insecure?

Seriously?

DP. I guess you can always ask, but the question says a lot more about you than the answer would about her.

[Anonymous]

Too many easy women on this site.

[Anonymous]

The best policy is to be completely honest with one another prior to getting married. These are not easy conversations, but must be discussed. Each person must takes that information and decides whether they are right for each other. Otherwise, you will be looking at a high probability of divorce in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe in full transparency in a relationship? In other words, are both parties honest with one another about past sexual history and financial status before taking the next step of getting engaged and married shortly after that?

This is crucial or they are setting themselves up for failure building a house of cards with. You don't want lies and secrets in a marriage as its too much stress on you and hence on marriage. One lie leads to another and soon you'll feel like a fraud.

[Anonymous]

One reasons why many marriages become bitter or fail.

[Anonymous]

If you can't be honest with each other, move on if your goal isn't a fun wedding but a healthy long term marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe in full transparency in a relationship? In other words, are both parties honest with one another about past sexual history and financial status before taking the next step of getting engaged and married shortly after that?

What are you hiding, why do you feel the need to lie and what are your fears about a full discloser?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. If you feel like your partner is going to judge you for your sexual history and financial status, then they probably aren’t the right person for you. You don’t want to live your life walking on eggshells.

And you are not the person they want, you are an impersonator.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A man should know if his future wife slept with the entire fraternity in college before he marries her, most men don’t want their daughters raised to be whores.

Its just not that. Everyone has different values and if you are presenting yourself as that person but you aren't, you are defrauding them.

[Anonymous]

Hiding sexual history is a moral and ethical fraud. Hiding financial history before signing a legal contract is criminal fraud.

[Anonymous]

Each spouse's spending habits, credit history and score, debt, income, savings and investments severely impact other spouse and future children so transparency is crucial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hiding sexual history is a moral and ethical fraud. Hiding financial history before signing a legal contract is criminal fraud.

I don't think anyone said to lie. But the question is whether it is reasonable to ask in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hiding sexual history is a moral and ethical fraud. Hiding financial history before signing a legal contract is criminal fraud.

There is is way verifying if a man was sleeping with dozens of women or not . Listen, unless it’s a very young marriage between people in early 20s every has had a past. Even if a woman is sleeping with one man a year if single she will have over 10 partners by her 30s. Is it a lot or not ? It’s also very subjective.

All these men on OLD must be sleeping with someone. Average age gap at marriage is 2 years; average ahe 30-35 yo. Are they sleeping their way through to find a 30 yo virgin ? Even if they do, would they be happy and satisfied with that woman ?

A lot of men have a Madonna-Whore complex which is one of the most damaging deviation for female sex expression in marriage. Too many men need to do a serious mental work what they want to find in a wife: excellent sexual chemistry , or just the mother. Because for 30 yo virgins that may not go together.

I will decline a question about number of prior sex partners as inappropriate, stupid and crossing boundaries, as I can’t verify his prior sex history.

A man should look instead into objective criteria to judge if the woman treats sex as something that deeply connected people do. How soon did she jump in bed with you ? Chances are, if it was on date 1-2, she does it with everyone. Did she ask for STD test and provided hers ? If not, chances are she gives BJ without asking to everyone. And so on.

A smart man would figure out if the woman comes across as promiscuous

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hiding sexual history is a moral and ethical fraud. Hiding financial history before signing a legal contract is criminal fraud.

There is is way verifying if a man was sleeping with dozens of women or not . Listen, unless it’s a very young marriage between people in early 20s every has had a past. Even if a woman is sleeping with one man a year if single she will have over 10 partners by her 30s. Is it a lot or not ? It’s also very subjective.

All these men on OLD must be sleeping with someone. Average age gap at marriage is 2 years; average ahe 30-35 yo. Are they sleeping their way through to find a 30 yo virgin ? Even if they do, would they be happy and satisfied with that woman ?

A lot of men have a Madonna-Whore complex which is one of the most damaging deviation for female sex expression in marriage. Too many men need to do a serious mental work what they want to find in a wife: excellent sexual chemistry , or just the mother. Because for 30 yo virgins that may not go together.

I will decline a question about number of prior sex partners as inappropriate, stupid and crossing boundaries, as I can’t verify his prior sex history.

A man should look instead into objective criteria to judge if the woman treats sex as something that deeply connected people do. How soon did she jump in bed with you ? Chances are, if it was on date 1-2, she does it with everyone. Did she ask for STD test and provided hers ? If not, chances are she gives BJ without asking to everyone. And so on.

A smart man would figure out if the woman comes across as promiscuous

You should welcome that question and run.

[Anonymous]

I had an abortion while in college and told my then-boyfriend about it as things got serious. The fact that he was so understanding about it made me even more sure he was the right guy for me. Married 16 years.