past sexual history and financial status

[Anonymous]

Do you believe in full transparency in a relationship? In other words, are both parties honest with one another about past sexual history and financial status before taking the next step of getting engaged and married shortly after that?

[Anonymous]

I definitely think full financial history should be shared. My husband and I got married pretty young, while I was still in law school and I printed out my loan information and we talked about my student loan debt and my plans for it (which I successfully executed).

Sexual history is more complicated but I do remember meeting a friend from college's wife and realizing she didn’t know he'd been married before (which lots of people knew about, we attended their wedding). Just... that's going to come out, dude.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If you feel like your partner is going to judge you for your sexual history and financial status, then they probably aren’t the right person for you. You don’t want to live your life walking on eggshells.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe in full transparency in a relationship? In other words, are both parties honest with one another about past sexual history and financial status before taking the next step of getting engaged and married shortly after that?

Yes. 100%. Or don’t bother getting married or in a serious partnership.

[Anonymous]

What's the point? They will not get married or it will come back to bite.
I would have wanted to know that it's the SN that keeps them from growing wealth. How does a 40-year old not have a penny after working a good job for 15 years. I figured it out when the same SN did them in.
I want to know what cause the sleeping around. That will affect many parts of our lives, not just money and sex.

[Anonymous]

Financial status yes as that impacts the current. I never particularly cared what someone's sexual history was.

[Anonymous]

Financial history, yes. Sexual/romantic history is relevant only in that their prior experience (or lack thereof) might impact our own relationship. And I guess is someone was promiscuous, that could impact their health, but getting tested for STDs takes care of that concern. I remember being curious about DH’s prior relationships, because they had an unlacing his growth and development in general, but I never demanded a list or body count.

[Anonymous]

Had an *impact* on his growth and development ^^

[Anonymous]

Finances yes, sexual history, no.

Look, no matter what, somebody’s feelings will get hurt if you disclose sexual history. Somebody had a threesome, or slept with a gorgeous celebrity, or paid a sex worker, or did something that will make the other person insecure.

It is fully possible to have a wild sexual experience and then go on to have a very happy, monogamous relationship. But there’s zero need to introduce any doubt by bringing up sex that may make the other person uneasy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Finances yes, sexual history, no.

Look, no matter what, somebody’s feelings will get hurt if you disclose sexual history. Somebody had a threesome, or slept with a gorgeous celebrity, or paid a sex worker, or did something that will make the other person insecure.

It is fully possible to have a wild sexual experience and then go on to have a very happy, monogamous relationship. But there’s zero need to introduce any doubt by bringing up sex that may make the other person uneasy.

So it is ok not to disclose to your potential husband that you slept with the entire UVA football team because you don’t want to make him feel insecure?

Seriously?

[Anonymous]

It's fine but obviously people lie. Trust but verify

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finances yes, sexual history, no.

Look, no matter what, somebody’s feelings will get hurt if you disclose sexual history. Somebody had a threesome, or slept with a gorgeous celebrity, or paid a sex worker, or did something that will make the other person insecure.

It is fully possible to have a wild sexual experience and then go on to have a very happy, monogamous relationship. But there’s zero need to introduce any doubt by bringing up sex that may make the other person uneasy.

So it is ok not to disclose to your potential husband that you slept with the entire UVA football team because you don’t want to make him feel insecure?

Seriously?

I don’t know anybody who slept with an entire football team. Did you? How was it?

[Anonymous]

Sexual history, no. Just an STD test.

Financial history, of course. You can’t become one financial unit with someone without first understanding any liabilities they may be bringing into your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Financial status yes as that impacts the current. I never particularly cared what someone's sexual history was.

How about this scenario? Your wife slept with your brother, cousin and his friends in college prior to knowing you and didn’t tell you about it. You only found out about it after getting married. Are you saying that you do not care?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the point? They will not get married or it will come back to bite.
I would have wanted to know that it's the SN that keeps them from growing wealth. How does a 40-year old not have a penny after working a good job for 15 years. I figured it out when the same SN did them in.
I want to know what cause the sleeping around. That will affect many parts of our lives, not just money and sex.

What is SN?