Would you marry a bi curious man?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No issue dating a bisexual man who is interested in commitment with me/monogamy. The curious part is the issue--I don't want to be married with kids and then suddenly my spouse is feeling like they missed out.

I would always wonder if he is unfulfilled sexually and wanting to have sex with a man. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I am ignorant about these issues.

A few months ago when I was in LA I saw this incredibly gorgeous "woman". She was very feminine, soft, feminine voice. Everything about her was feminine . It turned out she is a transgender woman. I could not tell.

Does it make it me bi?

Are men who date trans women straight or bi?

If they have not had the surgery, and still have a pen*s, and you are turned on by that, then you are bi, or possibly gay.

If you didn't know they had a P before being attracted to them, then I would not say you were bi since you really thought that person was a female, a very feminine one at that.

Most trans women don't walk around with visible bulges like us lol.

[Anonymous]

I'm currently dating a bi curious woman and she says she wants to have her first experience with another woman. The way she feels so comfortable with it to me is interesting. It's as if she expects me to do cool about it as of it's totally normal.

If it's normal for women, why do women expect it to be abnormal for men?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have an issue with bi men. However we men are more likely to get HIv when we have unprotected sex with other men. So a bi "curious" man is more likely to engage in secret sex with another man. So he will be putting his female partner at greater risk of getting HIV if he is engaging in unprotected sex with another man.

Oh please. Lots of ifs and assumptions there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a problem with gay people and their sex life - don't ask, don't tell, don't make it in your face. I will not think about it. I wish them happiness and I can have normal non-sexual relationship with them.

I am a heterosexual happily married monogamous woman.

BUT, the thought of having a DH who has ever had gay sex is absolutely vomit-inducing for me. I cannot have an intimate relationship with such a man. It makes my skin crawl.

Ok, homophobe. You’re disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will admit that I am ignorant about these issues.

A few months ago when I was in LA I saw this incredibly gorgeous "woman". She was very feminine, soft, feminine voice. Everything about her was feminine . It turned out she is a transgender woman. I could not tell.

Does it make it me bi?

Are men who date trans women straight or bi?

If they have not had the surgery, and still have a pen*s, and you are turned on by that, then you are bi, or possibly gay.

If you didn't know they had a P before being attracted to them, then I would not say you were bi since you really thought that person was a female, a very feminine one at that.

Gay men don't have sex with trans women because they view them as women. Some of you are very ignorant for real

[Anonymous]

I think a man could marry a bi curious man and they could make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not until he explored his bi-curious side.
No. No way.

I wouldn’t marrry anything curious. I mean, by the time you get married, you should have that stuff sorted out. It’s fine to be curious when you’re 20. By the time you get married you should have explored your curiosities and figured out your preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the accusations that if someone would date or marry a bisexual (or "bi-curious") person, that makes them biphobic. This is a very strange interpretation of what it means to be phobic of different sexualities. Who you date and marry is deeply personal, perhaps the most personal, individual thing any of us do. As long as you aren't hating or discriminating against bi people in the rest of your life, it doesn't matter if you aren't attracted to bi people.

Is it "heterophobic" for a gay person to decline to date someone who identified as hetero, or homophobic for a hetero person to decline to date a gay person? No, that is nonsensical.

For me as a hetero woman, I find a bi man who is attracted to men as well as women to be a turn off. I only want to be with a man who is just attracted to women. It's not about fear of him straying (of course, straight men also cheat) but about my sexual interests and expression. I want a man who will be exclusively interested in my particular brand of feminine, womanly sexuality. That's hot to me. Knowing a guy also gets off on masculine sexual energy, that he is also into male bodies, just shuts me down. It's not for me.

I have a number if bisexual friends and colleagues, I like them and don't think they are secretly gay. But I wouldn't date them, just as I wouldn't date a gay person or an asexual person. It's not my particular brand of tea.

Being tolerant and open minded does not mean you are open to dating/marrying/having sex with literally any person who might be interested in you. Everyone has preferences and we should all be respectful of other people's sexual choices even when their choice is not to have sex with us.

You really are biphobic. You just don't know it. Plus you're way, way too into sex. You have issues.

DP. Have you told the person making direct references to sexual acts the same? No.

You’re nuts. And hererophobic.

Look, just think about what she says and what she doesn’t say. She doesn’t say she can only be attracted to guys who would only be into HER — and not other women — because she knows she such a person doesn’t exist. There’s no one on the planet of any sexual orientation who can only be, to use her word, “hot” for just one person ever.

What she DOES, say, is that she COULDN’T be attracted to any guy who could be “hot” not just for another woman but also another man. In fact, she says it’s a “turn off.”

If that’s not homophobic, what is? Turn off is a close relative of “disgust.”

Look, people like what they like. And they don't like what they don't like. You can't force people to have sex with people they don't want to have sex with. I don't want to have sex with bisexual people. Call it a turn off, call it disgust, whatever. It's just my preference. I will work with a bisexual person, be friends with them. I have bisexual family members, bisexual neighbors. I don't think bisexual people are disgusting or wrong. But I don't want to be in a romantic, sexual relationship with a bisexual person. We do not share sexual preferences and I want to be with someone who shares my sexual preference.

I've heard gay men describe the idea of sex with women as "disgusting." I don't think that makes them sexist. I think it makes them gay. Which is fine!

You likely think of yourself as being a very tolerant and open minded person, but you are trying to control other people's thoughts and sexual attraction. That's insane. Live and let live. That means letting people who aren't interested in being with bisexual people choose not to be with bisexual people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No issue dating a bisexual man who is interested in commitment with me/monogamy. The curious part is the issue--I don't want to be married with kids and then suddenly my spouse is feeling like they missed out.

This happened to a friend and he left her for a younger guy once she had a couple kids. Of course straight guys do this too but I think he felt more justified since he said he felt like he was denying his true self by not exploring that. Anyway, the lesson is — make sure you spouse has explored whatever they want to explore before vowing to stop exploring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently dating a bi curious woman and she says she wants to have her first experience with another woman. The way she feels so comfortable with it to me is interesting. It's as if she expects me to do cool about it as of it's totally normal.

If it's normal for women, why do women expect it to be abnormal for men?

I think it would be totally fine for you to decide that her interest in women is not cool with you and that you don't want to be with someone who is interested in opening up your relationship to other people so that she can "have her first experience with another woman." I think you would be totally entitled in saying "best of luck to you on this journey, but this is not what I'm looking for in a relationship."

And I'd say the same to a woman regarding a male partner who wanted to have sex with men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s fully content with monogamy. Or would you feel it’s too risky? Any stories?

No, I would not marry anyone who was curious about any part of their sexuality. The two bi people I know are not curious -- one is a woman in a longtime marriage to another woman, they have a child and seem happy and content. The other is a man who is f***ing his way through his current city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the accusations that if someone would date or marry a bisexual (or "bi-curious") person, that makes them biphobic. This is a very strange interpretation of what it means to be phobic of different sexualities. Who you date and marry is deeply personal, perhaps the most personal, individual thing any of us do. As long as you aren't hating or discriminating against bi people in the rest of your life, it doesn't matter if you aren't attracted to bi people.

Is it "heterophobic" for a gay person to decline to date someone who identified as hetero, or homophobic for a hetero person to decline to date a gay person? No, that is nonsensical.

For me as a hetero woman, I find a bi man who is attracted to men as well as women to be a turn off. I only want to be with a man who is just attracted to women. It's not about fear of him straying (of course, straight men also cheat) but about my sexual interests and expression. I want a man who will be exclusively interested in my particular brand of feminine, womanly sexuality. That's hot to me. Knowing a guy also gets off on masculine sexual energy, that he is also into male bodies, just shuts me down. It's not for me.

I have a number if bisexual friends and colleagues, I like them and don't think they are secretly gay. But I wouldn't date them, just as I wouldn't date a gay person or an asexual person. It's not my particular brand of tea.

Being tolerant and open minded does not mean you are open to dating/marrying/having sex with literally any person who might be interested in you. Everyone has preferences and we should all be respectful of other people's sexual choices even when their choice is not to have sex with us.

You really are biphobic. You just don't know it. Plus you're way, way too into sex. You have issues.

DP. Have you told the person making direct references to sexual acts the same? No.

You’re nuts. And hererophobic.

Look, just think about what she says and what she doesn’t say. She doesn’t say she can only be attracted to guys who would only be into HER — and not other women — because she knows she such a person doesn’t exist. There’s no one on the planet of any sexual orientation who can only be, to use her word, “hot” for just one person ever.

What she DOES, say, is that she COULDN’T be attracted to any guy who could be “hot” not just for another woman but also another man. In fact, she says it’s a “turn off.”

If that’s not homophobic, what is? Turn off is a close relative of “disgust.”

Look, people like what they like. And they don't like what they don't like. You can't force people to have sex with people they don't want to have sex with. I don't want to have sex with bisexual people. Call it a turn off, call it disgust, whatever. It's just my preference. I will work with a bisexual person, be friends with them. I have bisexual family members, bisexual neighbors. I don't think bisexual people are disgusting or wrong. But I don't want to be in a romantic, sexual relationship with a bisexual person. We do not share sexual preferences and I want to be with someone who shares my sexual preference.

I've heard gay men describe the idea of sex with women as "disgusting." I don't think that makes them sexist. I think it makes them gay. Which is fine!

You likely think of yourself as being a very tolerant and open minded person, but you are trying to control other people's thoughts and sexual attraction. That's insane. Live and let live. That means letting people who aren't interested in being with bisexual people choose not to be with bisexual people.

I’m not saying any of that. What I AM saying is that someone who thinks the way she does is a homophone. Plain and simple. If you’re so turned off by the mere idea that a man might possibly find another man attractive, to the point that you can’t even get imagine getting “hot” for him even if you were guaranteed that he was way more hot for you and would never ever stray, is homophobic. It can only mean that you have a deep seated aversion to homosexuality. It can’t mean anything else. You can tell yourself that it’s just about your “preference,” but it’s more than that. A lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't understand the accusations that if someone would date or marry a bisexual (or "bi-curious") person, that makes them biphobic. This is a very strange interpretation of what it means to be phobic of different sexualities. Who you date and marry is deeply personal, perhaps the most personal, individual thing any of us do. As long as you aren't hating or discriminating against bi people in the rest of your life, it doesn't matter if you aren't attracted to bi people.

Is it "heterophobic" for a gay person to decline to date someone who identified as hetero, or homophobic for a hetero person to decline to date a gay person? No, that is nonsensical.

For me as a hetero woman, I find a bi man who is attracted to men as well as women to be a turn off. I only want to be with a man who is just attracted to women. It's not about fear of him straying (of course, straight men also cheat) but about my sexual interests and expression. I want a man who will be exclusively interested in my particular brand of feminine, womanly sexuality. That's hot to me. Knowing a guy also gets off on masculine sexual energy, that he is also into male bodies, just shuts me down. It's not for me.

I have a number if bisexual friends and colleagues, I like them and don't think they are secretly gay. But I wouldn't date them, just as I wouldn't date a gay person or an asexual person. It's not my particular brand of tea.

Being tolerant and open minded does not mean you are open to dating/marrying/having sex with literally any person who might be interested in you. Everyone has preferences and we should all be respectful of other people's sexual choices even when their choice is not to have sex with us.

You really are biphobic. You just don't know it. Plus you're way, way too into sex. You have issues.

DP. Have you told the person making direct references to sexual acts the same? No.

You’re nuts. And hererophobic.

Look, just think about what she says and what she doesn’t say. She doesn’t say she can only be attracted to guys who would only be into HER — and not other women — because she knows she such a person doesn’t exist. There’s no one on the planet of any sexual orientation who can only be, to use her word, “hot” for just one person ever.

What she DOES, say, is that she COULDN’T be attracted to any guy who could be “hot” not just for another woman but also another man. In fact, she says it’s a “turn off.”

If that’s not homophobic, what is? Turn off is a close relative of “disgust.”

Look, people like what they like. And they don't like what they don't like. You can't force people to have sex with people they don't want to have sex with. I don't want to have sex with bisexual people. Call it a turn off, call it disgust, whatever. It's just my preference. I will work with a bisexual person, be friends with them. I have bisexual family members, bisexual neighbors. I don't think bisexual people are disgusting or wrong. But I don't want to be in a romantic, sexual relationship with a bisexual person. We do not share sexual preferences and I want to be with someone who shares my sexual preference.

I've heard gay men describe the idea of sex with women as "disgusting." I don't think that makes them sexist. I think it makes them gay. Which is fine!

You likely think of yourself as being a very tolerant and open minded person, but you are trying to control other people's thoughts and sexual attraction. That's insane. Live and let live. That means letting people who aren't interested in being with bisexual people choose not to be with bisexual people.

I’m not saying any of that. What I AM saying is that someone who thinks the way she does is a homophone. Plain and simple. If you’re so turned off by the mere idea that a man might possibly find another man attractive, to the point that you can’t even get imagine getting “hot” for him even if you were guaranteed that he was way more hot for you and would never ever stray, is homophobic. It can only mean that you have a deep seated aversion to homosexuality. It can’t mean anything else. You can tell yourself that it’s just about your “preference,” but it’s more than that. A lot more.

So to be clear, your definition of homophobia is anyone who isn't turned on by the idea of two men having sex? That's... narrow.

[Anonymous]

Hell naw