Would you marry a bi curious man?

[Anonymous]

No. I want someone totally interested in my gender.

[Anonymous]

The one I know ended up being a swinger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geeze you all need to unlearn some deeply entrenched biphobia. Bisexual or bi curious people are not any more or less likely to cheat than a straight person. Bi doesn't mean they must be with multiple genders. Everyone is still attracted to people other than their spouse - straight or not. The ability to act or not on that is up to that person, not their sexuality.

It's not the same. A bi person is attracted to both sexes, but they are only married to one sex. The partner would never be able to fulfill the bi person's sexual needs.

But, I agree that a hetero person who wants multiple partners should never get married, either.

Yeah, that? That right there? That's your biphobia. Just because we're attracted to both sexes doesn't mean we "need" to be intimate with both sexes. Plenty of monogamous bisexual people exist. By your logic, you can't marry straight people either, because they'll still be attracted to other members of the opposite sex. Some people cheat, some people don't.

-married 20 years, never cheated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots and lots of homophobes on DCUM.

Not wanting to be with a bi person <> homophobe.

Would you say that a gay person is a heterophobe for not wanting to have sex with the opposite gender?

Not to mention, no one is afraid of bisexual people. We just don’t LIKE them. And certainly wouldn’t marry one.

You know damned well what the word means, capt. semantics. You're hateful. As we said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Textbook biphobia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s fully content with monogamy. Or would you feel it’s too risky? Any stories?

My issue would be with the "curious" part. If you're bi, you're bi. You can be bi and monogamous (I am). But if you're "bi-curious" you're still exploring.

There's nothing wrong with that, but I'm past my exploring phase and I know what I want. So this would be an incompatibility for me on those grounds.

If you'd framed the question "Would you marry a bi man who is committed to monogamy?" Sure, I would. But the "curious" and "content with" both suggest there might be something lacking in the relationship from the start, and that would concern me. I'm also not in a part of my life where I want to be doing a whole lot of "finding myself" style experimentation that way. I'd probably wish him the best and move on.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would. Just because a man is bi does not mean he can't be monogamous. Straight men get married and still cheat so what are there excuses? Mostly everyone can look at someone else who there attacted to and not cheat so why are bi-men the odds ones out?

And has anyone ever heard of pegging. I would happily oblige my spouse if they were bi and wanted to be pegged or suck on a dildo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?

+1. Such a generalization. Really offensive.

Is it?

If someone desires a different gender, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

That's a relationship that generally doesn't work.

And Bi preferences among men is so rare. Typically, that's a gay man who hasn't worked it out yet.

You get the transitional time. Which most women don't care for.

Gender is a social construct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would date and marry a bisexual man, but not a man who thinks he might be bi but has never tried it. That's just a little too risky for my tastes.

This is reasonable. I would be reluctant to marry anyone who was unsure of exactly what works for them in the bedroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?

+1. Such a generalization. Really offensive.

Is it?

If someone desires a different gender, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

That's a relationship that generally doesn't work.

And Bi preferences among men is so rare. Typically, that's a gay man who hasn't worked it out yet.

You get the transitional time. Which most women don't care for.

Exactly.

No such thing as a bi man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?

+1. Such a generalization. Really offensive.

Is it?

If someone desires a different gender, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

That's a relationship that generally doesn't work.

And Bi preferences among men is so rare. Typically, that's a gay man who hasn't worked it out yet.

You get the transitional time. Which most women don't care for.

Exactly.

No such thing as a bi man.

Or maybe bi people never come out because it’s even more taboo than being gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?

+1. Such a generalization. Really offensive.

Is it?

If someone desires a different gender, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

That's a relationship that generally doesn't work.

And Bi preferences among men is so rare. Typically, that's a gay man who hasn't worked it out yet.

You get the transitional time. Which most women don't care for.

Is that true or are you guessing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, to be perfectly honest. I would find it unattractive/offputting, and I would also worry that we simply could not have the same relationship goals.

I also know several people in open marriages (which I have absolutely zero interest in) and in at least two of those situations, the marriage is open because one or both partners is bi and they want more variety. Live and let live, but that's not for me.

Exactly. Bi people would not be happy with having sex with just the one gender for the entirety of their marriage. If they are sexually attracted to a different gender, they will always crave that, and their opposite gender married partner won't ever be able to meet those needs.

Are you speaking from experience or just guessing?

+1. Such a generalization. Really offensive.

Is it?

If someone desires a different gender, there's nothing anyone can do about it.

That's a relationship that generally doesn't work.

And Bi preferences among men is so rare. Typically, that's a gay man who hasn't worked it out yet.

You get the transitional time. Which most women don't care for.

Exactly.

No such thing as a bi man.

Or maybe bi people never come out because it’s even more taboo than being gay?

Yes, biphobia is quite real and you get it from both sides. Because you do "choose" in some way who you date and that gets some people really upset.

I think a lot more people are bi that they'd admit because it's just easier to hide it. I know one friend who had been in a long term relationship with a woman said that in her teaching career it was just easier to deal with if she was straight presenting. For men I think the stigma can be even worse.

[Anonymous]

Didn't read all the comments, but I'm certain I did... Only because I believe that we are all on a spectrum of sexual curiosity and expression. My spouse and I tend to prefer presenting as our assigned sexes (so, for us our gender identity and anatomy happen to align) and have only heterosexual interactions with each other. But I'm not laboring under any delusion that he isn't curious about other people's bodies, fantasizing about them, or pleasuring himself in private while doing so. It's all fine and natural. We have the level of commitment to each other that satisfies me, at least, and our marriage is the happiest one I know (with the caveat that that's the only one I can ever really know, of course). I hope everyone in this thread finds their own happiness, whether alone or partnered.

[Anonymous]

Nope wouldn’t even date him.