Concerning? BIL and SIL publicly crying at a gathering the weekend before their only child leaves for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

Which is so fake it's hard to believe how proud you all are of hiding the pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

+1 - having your only child leave the nest is a massive change. Give people a break.

[Anonymous]

I think it is abnormal if you are not upset when your kids leave for college

[Anonymous]

I have a 10th grader, and I'll tell you right now that if someone starts saying emotional things about my daughter weeks before she leaves for college, I'm going to start crying, and in a way that will be difficult to hide. This is a much bigger change for the parents than the kid, generally. The kid is excited about new beginnings. The parents just have the same stuff going on, but without the person they focused most of their attention on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

My parents teared up a little in my dorm and confided to me later that they sobbed on the drive home. But crying at a party seemed a little concerning is all. And especially the way my SIL described my niece, it sounded like a co-dependency. Even my BIL confided to my husband his daughter has been his everything and he was struggling to imagine the house without her. Suddenly they're going to be a 5 hour plane ride from her and the house will be eerie and quiet. Made us worried is all and wondering if this was normal.

I have an only child in high school. If you are close - and we are - it’s a different dynamic than families with multiple children. DH and I fully admit and expect that we will be messes when she goes to school. I think it’s quite different for parents of an only to immediately become empty nesters vs other parents who have a gradual step-down.

[Anonymous]

My younger DD just started 3rd grade. At back to school night her teacher (relatively new as a full time teacher) was saying how amazing it is to remember her own children going to the same school and to think they’re now a jr in high school and freshman in college. Then she teared up. She was embarrassed but I found it so relatable! And that was in a work setting - at a family event having those sorts of memories I’d cry for sure!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s different when it’s a daughter. Girls, especially naive freshman teen girls, are coerced into binge drinking and sexually assaulted all the time. It’s terrifying as a parent.

So they are crying out of fear that she will be assaulted? I don't think that was the point of the post...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

So it’s not normal. So what? OP still shouldn’t judge.

[Anonymous]

This is an emmeshed Gen X parent thing

[Anonymous]

I can't believe this thread is seven pages long and that people are earnestly debating this issue.

Nothing that strange about them crying, even if it made you feel uncomfortable. End of.

*Bangs gavel*

[Anonymous]

Sometimes tears can be about other things too. Never know what issues people are dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your in laws were experiencing the same emotions at the same time and showed them? And there is an upcoming life-changing event that tracks with those emotions? And a few other posters said their sister or mom never cried publicly about similar things? AND YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR THEIR MARRIAGE?

OP, are YOU ok?

+1000

I have a great marriage and am actually looking forward to being empty nesters in some ways but I will certainly cry when our twins leave for college because their our only kids so once they're gone it'll just be us. I'll be sad to not see them every day, not sad that I'm going to be spending more time with my husband. MYOB, OP. Honestly, you sound really rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

Are you for real? Your family members expressed their emotions and it made you uncomfortable? Ugh, I'm glad you're not related to me, and I'm am introvert and not an outwardly emotional person at all but I wouldn't be bothered by someone showing emotion at a rational time like this.

[Anonymous]

Sounds normal to me.

[Anonymous]

I have three, I bawled at every drop off I cried when they came home for break and left again. I cried when my last went to kindergarten. Some of us are just more emotional.