Concerning? BIL and SIL publicly crying at a gathering the weekend before their only child leaves for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds normal to me.

I was from a single mother home. My mother had addiction problems. I left at 18 to attend college. Just left and was entirely on my own financially. I was on athletic scholarship, which helped but I prided myself on being a very tough and independent kid, which had large elements of truth. Both in athletics and in my tough mobbed up union job in the summers, I didn’t betray an ounce of emotion.

So when my oldest daughter left for college, I never imagined I would be emotional. Yikes I was emotional. And not afraid to admit it. Like many others posting here, I consoled myself by repeating that I had done a good job with her. The truth was was is that as a great kid she deserved all of the credit - - 100 percent of it - but I needed to feel a bit better in the moment. I wouldn’t judge others for caring a lot about their kids.

[Anonymous]

Hi DCUM,

My neighbor’s children died and he started crying in public. Like, keep your tears to yourself, amirite?

[Anonymous]

There was a child on my son’s sport team and he was an only child. The mom was very involved and this son was obviously her whole life.

Almost a year after he went to college, I saw her and she was tearing up very emotional about her child in college. I am sure she was crying before and after he left.

My oldest kid is a junior and I feel sad thinking about him leaving the house. I have 3 kids and I still feel sad about the oldest.

[Anonymous]

Chill out, OP. Are you a troll? Or do you have an anxiety disorder? Why exactly are you concerned? You sound nuts.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think reading these types of threads (there is another one going about a mom of five sad) make me feel worse. My oldest left a few weeks ago. I feel okay until I read this.

[Anonymous]

What is going on? Designer dorm rooms, parents loosing it over kids going off to college! Insanity. Let your kids grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some posters aren't understanding that there is a huge gulf between shedding a tear in the car after drop-off; and purposefully inviting a gathering to reminisce about your kid, and sobbing in front of everyone.

The former happens to a lot of parents. The latter? I've never seen or heard about this. That's NOT normal. Stop pretending it is.

OP said SIL cried, not sobbed, and BIL teared up. So you're the one who sounds hysterical here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

My parents teared up a little in my dorm and confided to me later that they sobbed on the drive home. But crying at a party seemed a little concerning is all. And especially the way my SIL described my niece, it sounded like a co-dependency. Even my BIL confided to my husband his daughter has been his everything and he was struggling to imagine the house without her. Suddenly they're going to be a 5 hour plane ride from her and the house will be eerie and quiet. Made us worried is all and wondering if this was normal.

Your fake concern isn't needed, OP. You can take is elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is the kid going?

They're probably crying because it's not an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be entirely truthful:

The whole situation is weird.

They invite family over to sing their kid's praises. Again. They did that already at the graduation party. They want more family worship? That's a little too navel-gazing.

And then they work themselves up to the point where the mother cries multiple times? OK, maybe she's in perimenopause (aren't we all?), and depressed, because her life revolves around this one kid. But it makes the relatives very uncomfortable. Just because they're family, she doesn't get to dump her emotions on them.

OP, my takeway is that they've lived their life wrapped up in their child to an exceedingly unhealthy degree, and you're only now seeing the full extent of their obsession. I'm a total mother hen, but I'm not pathologically obsessed...

What must it be like to be such a negative and unhappy person?