Concerning? BIL and SIL publicly crying at a gathering the weekend before their only child leaves for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

My manager at work cried on and off for MONTHS before her child went to college. And then her child went and two weeks later she was completely fine and seemed happier than she'd been in years. I think it is both a pivotal transition and hits during perimenopause and the combo can be a lot.

But aren't we all in peri, when our kids go off to college? Although I do understand that peri can trigger different symptoms for different people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My niece is leaving for college later this week, so BIL and SIL threw a spontaneous casual gathering with a few dozen friends and family to sort of say goodbye and share stories. This was not a high school graduation party, that was in June.

Multiple times during the gathering my normally super composed SIL began crying, which led to some of her friends and family members crying too and consoling her. Even my BIL was tearing up.

Our kids are still a few years from college. I'm 100% sure I'll cry when that happens, but I've never seen such a reaction publicly, days before a kid actually leaves at that. It honestly also made me and my husband a little concerned for their marriage as new empty nesters.

Just wait and see. What comes around goes around and you are being nosey. It’s unattractive. What you observed was humanity.

[Anonymous]

Your in laws were experiencing the same emotions at the same time and showed them? And there is an upcoming life-changing event that tracks with those emotions? And a few other posters said their sister or mom never cried publicly about similar things? AND YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR THEIR MARRIAGE?

OP, are YOU ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece is leaving for college later this week, so BIL and SIL threw a spontaneous casual gathering with a few dozen friends and family to sort of say goodbye and share stories. This was not a high school graduation party, that was in June.

Multiple times during the gathering my normally super composed SIL began crying, which led to some of her friends and family members crying too and consoling her. Even my BIL was tearing up.

Our kids are still a few years from college. I'm 100% sure I'll cry when that happens, but I've never seen such a reaction publicly, days before a kid actually leaves at that. It honestly also made me and my husband a little concerned for their marriage as new empty nesters.

Just wait and see. What comes around goes around and you are being nosey. It’s unattractive. What you observed was humanity.

That's indisputable... but it shows us that humanity can be very weird

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your in laws were experiencing the same emotions at the same time and showed them? And there is an upcoming life-changing event that tracks with those emotions? And a few other posters said their sister or mom never cried publicly about similar things? AND YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR THEIR MARRIAGE?

OP, are YOU ok?

OP is normal, unlike you. Crying at a goodbye party for college is a little extreme.

[Anonymous]

You sound highly jealous of their relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

They were in their home amongst friends and family and you come on here and trash them for showing emotion? You are lowlife garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

Are you always this self-centered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound highly jealous of their relationship.

? That's a strange answer. I don't think anyone wants to cry in public. And the amount of tears you shed is entirely unrelated to the love you have for your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

My parents teared up a little in my dorm and confided to me later that they sobbed on the drive home. But crying at a party seemed a little concerning is all. And especially the way my SIL described my niece, it sounded like a co-dependency. Even my BIL confided to my husband his daughter has been his everything and he was struggling to imagine the house without her. Suddenly they're going to be a 5 hour plane ride from her and the house will be eerie and quiet. Made us worried is all and wondering if this was normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, what a judgy jerk you are OP.

Come on. This isn't normal. Have you ever seen a parent cry at a gathering like this? Most of us cry discreetly after dropping off our kid, and no one is the wiser...

My manager at work cried on and off for MONTHS before her child went to college. And then her child went and two weeks later she was completely fine and seemed happier than she'd been in years. I think it is both a pivotal transition and hits during perimenopause and the combo can be a lot.

It has to be *so* much easier with the advent of iPhones, texting, social media, and FaceTime, right?

[Anonymous]

It is on the spectrum of normal. It's OK that they are a close family and they are going to miss their only child which led to a few tears. Give your SIL a big hug and let you know you sympathize with her.

[Anonymous]

What a dumb thing to say

[Anonymous]

We're going to do that. Neither of us was particularly emotional before having children, but now we tear up over little things related to our kids.