Concerning? BIL and SIL publicly crying at a gathering the weekend before their only child leaves for college

[Anonymous]

Not concerning, seems fine.

[Anonymous]

Your motto Op " I thought i was the perfect parent of a college rising freshman until I become one"...and it's their 1 and only child to boot?

Get back to us when it's your turn

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They got emotional when people were telling stories about their only child. Its a big transition. Just wait until you are there. Everyone reacts differently, but this seems like one of the normal responses.

This.

Even before my kids got there, I had no issue with friends crying about their kids headed off to college or had other milestones.

DH and his XW both cried when stepson graduated from college and law school.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t cry. I was happy for them. They got to spread their wings and fly. Different sitch though - I had four kids in 3 years and was exhausted. After the last one left DH and I got back to being a couple.
I was one of the only ones in my friend group that didn’t cry though.
Ppl are different and we have to be good w that.

[Anonymous]

Some people are more emotive than others. I would never do that, but I know some people who seem to thrive on wallowing in empty nest syndrome publicly. It doesn’t mean they love their children any more than the rest of us who prefer to keep our emotions more private. It doesn’t bother me, they are usually emotive about other things too.

[Anonymous]

Obviously it's not the norm, but it was their reaction. What's there to post about?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

OP, you need to figure out why parents expressing love for their kid and showing emotion makes you feel “awkward.”

MYOB. You sound like an a**.

Sorry, I'm an introvert and I think it's the overtly emotional who are rude and weird. I don't want to see that.

Being "overtly emotional" isn't the opposite of being an introvert. Even introverts can display emotion. I think you sre confusing introvert with some other trait....

Look, I was a rock until right before my kid left this weekend.

I have a great 30 year marriage..we were together/married for 18 years before we had a child.

But our kid..wow. we love them so much. And it has been MUCH harder than expected. We figured it would feel like before they came. Boy, were we wrong.

So now...this robot of a human is crying quietly on a plane with strangers around. .

If it had been my family and friends who I feel safe with...yeah...I probably would have cried not so quietly

But you haven't yet. And probably never will. Crying quietly a plane is OK. Inviting people over to see you cry is not.

I disagree. Surrounding yourself with community seems healthy at a big transition.

+1 wtf, no wonder people say they are lonely and lacking community. It's better to face your emotions alone with strangers on a flight than express them with people you know??

Who cares if it was a "2nd party" - they wanted to do something at the end of summer / just before their kid goes off. The guests chose to come. There are people that throw gatherings and invite others in and others that are so proud to be "introverts" that they can judge everything else as "cringe." If prefer someone who is open to others and willing to let their guard down.

[Anonymous]

You are awful OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I'm very introverted and this would make me cringe. But to each their own, I guess. My circle has all sent at least one kid to college, and no one cried during a party. They sniff a bit in the car while returning home after dropping off their kid. But if they had a graduation party AND a goodbye party, maybe they're the type to emote in public.

Yes, it made me and my husband a little uncomfortable. We totally empathize with them but it was a bit awkward.

OP, you need to figure out why parents expressing love for their kid and showing emotion makes you feel “awkward.”

MYOB. You sound like an a**.

Sorry, I'm an introvert and I think it's the overtly emotional who are rude and weird. I don't want to see that.

Being "overtly emotional" isn't the opposite of being an introvert. Even introverts can display emotion. I think you sre confusing introvert with some other trait....

Look, I was a rock until right before my kid left this weekend.

I have a great 30 year marriage..we were together/married for 18 years before we had a child.

But our kid..wow. we love them so much. And it has been MUCH harder than expected. We figured it would feel like before they came. Boy, were we wrong.

So now...this robot of a human is crying quietly on a plane with strangers around. .

If it had been my family and friends who I feel safe with...yeah...I probably would have cried not so quietly

But you haven't yet. And probably never will. Crying quietly a plane is OK. Inviting people over to see you cry is not.

I disagree. Surrounding yourself with community seems healthy at a big transition.

+1 wtf, no wonder people say they are lonely and lacking community. It's better to face your emotions alone with strangers on a flight than express them with people you know??

Who cares if it was a "2nd party" - they wanted to do something at the end of summer / just before their kid goes off. The guests chose to come. There are people that throw gatherings and invite others in and others that are so proud to be "introverts" that they can judge everything else as "cringe." If prefer someone who is open to others and willing to let their guard down.

+2. I remember going to a casual sendoff party for a friend's older sister and her mom gave a short speech at the end about how proud she was of her, and how hard she worked to acheive her goals. Her mom got a little teary, and then we all got a little choked up! Who cares, we were all amongst friends. That hasn't happened at every party I have been to, but it definitely seems within the realm of normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your in laws were experiencing the same emotions at the same time and showed them? And there is an upcoming life-changing event that tracks with those emotions? And a few other posters said their sister or mom never cried publicly about similar things? AND YOU ARE CONCERNED FOR THEIR MARRIAGE?

OP, are YOU ok?

OP is normal, unlike you. Crying at a goodbye party for college is a little extreme.

Yeah, I don’t understand everyone bashing OP. Having a party to say goodbye to your child when they’re going to college and crying at the party is weird. It reads as very immature to me. I’m willing to bet these parents that are going to show up at their child’s college dorm unexpectedly on a regular basis.

Ask me how I know this and why I stay as far away as possible.

[Anonymous]

I mean the child is going off to college. She will be in touch and will be home a ton, let's face it (breaks, vacations, summers, etc). Making a graduation party into a celebration of life format in the first place sounds a little over the top.

Also, starting crying publicly in June means this going to be one hell of a summer. The poor kid. Hope she got out of there in one piece.

[Anonymous]

They are fine. Give them a little time to adjust. Some people are more emotional than others. It’s ok. They obviously love their DC very much. They want what is best. It’s been a tough road. Live, and let live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean the child is going off to college. She will be in touch and will be home a ton, let's face it (breaks, vacations, summers, etc). Making a graduation party into a celebration of life format in the first place sounds a little over the top.

Also, starting crying publicly in June means this going to be one hell of a summer. The poor kid. Hope she got out of there in one piece.

June? The OP is from mid August. Kid is leaving a few days after the party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean the child is going off to college. She will be in touch and will be home a ton, let's face it (breaks, vacations, summers, etc). Making a graduation party into a celebration of life format in the first place sounds a little over the top.

Also, starting crying publicly in June means this going to be one hell of a summer. The poor kid. Hope she got out of there in one piece.

June? The OP is from mid August. Kid is leaving a few days after the party.

And even if they are back, it isn't the same. They don't live at home -- they are based somewhere else. They aren't in your orbit 7 days a week.

It is the way it is supposed to be but I do find it sad and I'm a year out from it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean the child is going off to college. She will be in touch and will be home a ton, let's face it (breaks, vacations, summers, etc). Making a graduation party into a celebration of life format in the first place sounds a little over the top.

Also, starting crying publicly in June means this going to be one hell of a summer. The poor kid. Hope she got out of there in one piece.

June? The OP is from mid August. Kid is leaving a few days after the party.

Oh, sorry. She mentioned the earlier party in June. Sounds like that one was less emo, but we are now talking about multiple events, including this recent one with the celebration of life theme.