
Right. And a simple "I'm a little under the weather, not up for company tonight. How about next weekend?" if the last minute-ness of it was just too much and a pivot felt impossible (seems it did). Again no one had to be the bad guy here. |
Embrace imperfection, hire help, enjoy life. |
I’ll send you a Venmo request for that. Overwhelmed over here too. How much help are you willing to pay for because I am down for that Support! |
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I just had a four-day weekend of hosting friends at our house overnight followed by six days out of town for our kids' sport followed by another four-day weekend of hosting friends at our house overnight. I've gotten much less sleep than normal, I am way behind on laundry, our fridge is basically empty except for a jar of pickles, and I have a huge to do list both at home and at work. But you know what? You DO only live once. Maybe losing a parent young makes me see things differently, but I will generally try to make time with friends and family or things for my kids happen if it all possible. And sometimes it's not and I say no. But other times we have full hampers for the entire week and just do emergency loads as needed. Sometimes we eat PB&J for dinner one night or order pizza. I've always worked full-time in an industry that has peaks and valleys of busy times but is not quiet during the summer or the winter holidays, but I still try to make an effort to push things then because those are the times things often come up. I'm not saying I'm right and you're wrong, and I'm very much a Type A person who would prefer my house to be perfectly clean and organized every single day but I've had to relax those standards in order to live life sometimes. |
OP and not mad at him just for asking but for how thoughtlessly he did it- he did so on the phone in front of others, at 6 pm which was an hour after he was supposed to be home with the kids, and with zero awareness of the things we'd agreed earlier needed to be done. Even if this was a good idea, it would have been 6:45 before the extra food was bought and everyone was at our house. The kids needed to be in bed but not asleep by 8 pm so they could be up at 6:30 for a camp that DH specifically chose for them thinking he would be taking them there but he'll be traveling and it's far from my office. (both DH and DCs are lactose-intolerant and don't eat pizza, but I agree that would have been easy) I am surprised by how many people are contorting themselves to make me out to be Mean Mommy. But I shouldn't be. |
Does your partner leave town for extended periods of time ? 12 is a very adaptable age. |
I'm not PP but we both work FT and always have. We no longer have a nanny or a house manager since our kids are now late elementary. Can I ask what you're doing the rest of the weekend? And how many kids do you have? I have two and Saturday from 5:30 am to 5:30 pm Saturday was taken up with sports but Sunday we didn't have that. If you are out of town for a weekend tournament then I get the Sunday night stuff. Otherwise why don't you have time before Sunday night? |
The problem is that you feel entitled to have the evening go exactly how you want. It is obvious that, in your mind, you have the high ground because your husband has been traveling for work. And you seem to be extremely rigid about your plans. It doesn't make you the bad guy, but it's not as though DH's request was something crazy. But if you feel bad because you had to insist to get what you want, instead of your DH just silently going along with it regardless of what he wanted to do, then that's for you to figure out. I doubt your daughter or these family friends have given it a second thought. And frankly, it sounds like you've got a martyr complex and are really building resentment, which isn't good for anybody. Also, you and others are making it seem like DH is just playing on easy mode, but traveling for work and then accompanying the daughter to the pool is not a vacation. And frankly, if you can't get basic household chores done and meals prepped for a week in the time that they were at the pool, it sounds like you are pretty inefficient. So, yeah, maybe OP is the bad guy! |
Curious if these visits were planned an hour before everyone's arrival, and if the visitors were your friends or if they're a random family that your kids were hanging out with at the pool? I think these are different scenarios. I think most people are happy to host people they know and love and stretch themselves to make those kinds of times together happen, but it's different to scramble for random people at the last minute and still put a cheery spin on it. |
You’re fine OP. Clearly this is in recent topics and folks are being way more easy breezy than in real life. |
No offense, but you do sound like the Mean Mommy. The fact that you cannot possibly see how that could be says that maybe you are not the best judge of the situation. You sound like are just set on feeling angry about the things you have to do, but nothing you are doing sounds that onerous. |
Seriously? Taking kids to the pool can be exhausting. I bet OP would have complained if she had taken the one child to the pool and then her husband had invited people over before she got home and she was mad because she'd just spent the day in the sun. Sometimes I take the kids to the pool. Sometimes my husband does. They're different kinds of work (unless you're relaxing at home while they're gone, which is fine). He didn't pile on a ton more work for her - burgers are pretty easy and it didn't sound like he wanted her to be the one cooking them anyway. Also, he left...for work? Not like he just peaced out Monday morning. So he probably wanted to see friends since he's gone all the time for work. |
She’s exhausted and trying to get ahead for the next round of travel. |
Her husband did the laundry on Saturday. |