Can I ask for payment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The default is that everyone will pay their fair share, you don’t need to talk in advance or it’s on the host. Fairness doesn’t expire a week after the trip.

I think it’s likely the parents gave the other boys money to cover the expenses, we know they gave them money for the meals, but they saw an opportunity to make some easy pocket money on the OPs expense. That would explain why the parents didn’t say anything, they just assumed everything was taken care of.

I’d contact the parents and ask for reimbursement.

Op should have been upfront. I will take your kids but there are 4 people sharing a hotel room, so the cost for your child is X. Please send money for food. I plan to stop at places costing between $10-20 per meal. And, I'd appreciate gas and toll money - your share is XXX.

None of this makes sense. I can see the kids paying for food, but I'd never ask for more. OP is pretty comfortable to pay for this camp and travel.

Do you go through life assuming other parents will make arrangements for your own kid and gift them hotel rooms and meals when they are 15-16 year old? That must really help with your social life.

The OP doesn’t know in advance what money the parents gave the kids, how they instructed them to pay for expenses and what the hotel arrangements and available rooms will be. It’s assumed they’ll pay their own. One of them did, it’s clear at least one parent thought it’s the right thing to do. I bet the other kids had money but saw an opportunity to pocket it. In which case it’s also the parent’s responsibility to make sure the kid knows it’s not something you do.

I'd never have my kid go with another family overnight and we'd take them but we've taken other kids and we pay. When other parents take mine, they generally pay. It all balances out.

OP knew the costs up front. She can google how much gas and tolls cost, she made hotel reservations so she says, your child's share for hotel and gas/tolls is XXX. Please send money for all meals, we plan to do fast food, sit down, etc so $10-20 per meal. Simple. I cannot imagine asking someone for gas and tolls and they only needed two rooms, really one. OP wanted her own room and wouldn't even share with her own child.

She didn't say she wouldn't share with her own child. Also this is not a fun trip OP invited the kids to. They invited themselves! No way she should pay for their rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These aren’t close friends where they are having reciprocating play dates. They asked for a ride which she graciously gave and of course she deserves to be paid back for the hotel rooms. Some of you are ridiculous.

100%. I wouldn't ask for help with gas/tolls, since I would have incurred those costs anyway, but of course they should expect to pay for their kids' hotel rooms and meals. OP saved them a ton of time and effort, the least they could do! That one kid was raised right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

She made an assumption about the third room, yes, but the parents and boys who slept there also made assumptions. No way OP is more wrong than they are. And I make my kids sleep on the floor in hotel rooms with me sometimes, but there's no way I'd expect or think anyone would expect 3 boys to stay with a mom they don't even know....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

Correct. Each of those kids' parents needs to cover the cost of 1/2 the hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

She paid for her room and her son's room, the other family paid for the boys room. She choose to do three rooms vs. two without taking to the other parents or being upfront over costs. They may have assumed everyone was sharing a room. I wouldn't put teens in their own room. I might get a suite and bring air mattresses.

To afford this trip and a big car, she's not struggling. She should have been upfront about costs. It wouldn't even occur to me that she was getting seperate rooms for each of the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

She paid for her room and her son's room, the other family paid for the boys room. She choose to do three rooms vs. two without taking to the other parents or being upfront over costs. They may have assumed everyone was sharing a room. I wouldn't put teens in their own room. I might get a suite and bring air mattresses.

To afford this trip and a big car, she's not struggling. She should have been upfront about costs. It wouldn't even occur to me that she was getting seperate rooms for each of the kids.

And, the issue is 1/2 her son's room as the other room was covered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

She paid for her room and her son's room, the other family paid for the boys room. She choose to do three rooms vs. two without taking to the other parents or being upfront over costs. They may have assumed everyone was sharing a room. I wouldn't put teens in their own room. I might get a suite and bring air mattresses.

To afford this trip and a big car, she's not struggling. She should have been upfront about costs. It wouldn't even occur to me that she was getting seperate rooms for each of the kids.

Again even if she got only one room, which would be a very big assumption, you still have two boys who paid nothing toward said room. If they expected one room, did anyone pack an air mattress? And if they weren't prepared to pay for their room(s) they should have said so at check in and let her take it up with the hotel, especially when they saw the other boy insist on paying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

Completely unnecessary. They are teen boys. Two rooms would have been plenty. Two boys could share or get a rollaway or an air mattress.

Even if she could have gotten two rooms, which I generally agree that she could have, you still have two boys who took a free room from her. That's not right.

She paid for her room and her son's room, the other family paid for the boys room. She choose to do three rooms vs. two without taking to the other parents or being upfront over costs. They may have assumed everyone was sharing a room. I wouldn't put teens in their own room. I might get a suite and bring air mattresses.

To afford this trip and a big car, she's not struggling. She should have been upfront about costs. It wouldn't even occur to me that she was getting seperate rooms for each of the kids.

And, the issue is 1/2 her son's room as the other room was covered.

So you're claiming the boy who paid paid for a room for two people who weren't him? That makes literally no sense. He paid for his room and invited her son who asked about paying for his half and was refused.

[Anonymous]

I am shocked parents didn't inquire about the hotel rooms and offer to contribute. What users!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am shocked parents didn't inquire about the hotel rooms and offer to contribute. What users!

Agree! However I am guessing they are just waiting to be told the amount. Most likely they fully plan to contribute, but they just need to know an amount. OP is being ridiculous in not asking for it. It would be a completely different scenario if OP had asked the children for a fun trip. At that point, it would be a natural assumption that she would be treating the kids. This is not that situation.

[Anonymous]

Go ahead and ask for the money OP. No one will mind. They will be grateful that you took their kids and saved them a trip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you too poor to afford it yourself?

You are as rude as the other two cheap parents.

[Anonymous]

OP you ask these things before you go.