Can I ask for payment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Should have it all agreed BEFORE left. If did have it agreed and still show up with no other rooms booked, tell kid to call his parents and ask what credit card number to use. Also know that sometimes parents send the money and kids pocket it and don’t use.

I am not going to drive 7 hours without knowing that we have rooms booked. The rooms had been booked. The parents knew I had booked the rooms.

You should have communicated the cost. I am planning to have two kids to a room. The room is $150 a night for four nights so your share is $300. Please send food and activity money with your kids or give me money in advance and I'll send reciepts and return the balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

[Anonymous]

I can’t read the last five pages to catch up on what’s happening. Did OP ask the parents for the money or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

The beggar? My kid would not have gone either her and we’d take them ourselves or pick a program nearby with housing, which is what we’ve done for a few years. No way would I have my teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. I’ve never let my kids go on a trip with others as when I ask details it’s not something I’m usually comfortable with. When I take kids, we pay for everything. I don’t put the financial burden on the parents when we invite out. And, yes, mine sleep on an air mattress or sofa if needed. They aren’t spoiled like op child. We can all share a room.

[Anonymous]

2 rooms for four boys?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

The beggar? My kid would not have gone either her and we’d take them ourselves or pick a program nearby with housing, which is what we’ve done for a few years. No way would I have my teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. I’ve never let my kids go on a trip with others as when I ask details it’s not something I’m usually comfortable with. When I take kids, we pay for everything. I don’t put the financial burden on the parents when we invite out. And, yes, mine sleep on an air mattress or sofa if needed. They aren’t spoiled like op child. We can all share a room.

What sofa?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

The beggar? My kid would not have gone either her and we’d take them ourselves or pick a program nearby with housing, which is what we’ve done for a few years. No way would I have my teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. I’ve never let my kids go on a trip with others as when I ask details it’s not something I’m usually comfortable with. When I take kids, we pay for everything. I don’t put the financial burden on the parents when we invite out. And, yes, mine sleep on an air mattress or sofa if needed. They aren’t spoiled like op child. We can all share a room.

Replace when with never. Choosy beggars expect handouts because “when” they do it, they pay for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

The beggar? My kid would not have gone either her and we’d take them ourselves or pick a program nearby with housing, which is what we’ve done for a few years. No way would I have my teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. I’ve never let my kids go on a trip with others as when I ask details it’s not something I’m usually comfortable with. When I take kids, we pay for everything. I don’t put the financial burden on the parents when we invite out. And, yes, mine sleep on an air mattress or sofa if needed. They aren’t spoiled like op child. We can all share a room.

Replace when with never. Choosy beggars expect handouts because “when” they do it, they pay for everything.

And don’t forget, “paying for everything” means sleeping on an inflatable mattress in a room shared with other kids and parents, because she’s not going to have her teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. If you don’t like it you’re a spoiled brat!

That’s so generous and amazing that I’m going to politely decline and just get a hotel room like normal people, especially before an athletic meet.

Cheap choosy beggars!

[Anonymous]

Anyone else want to know if it’s the same poster using the phrase choosy beggar? They can’t stop. I keep checking back just to see if it’s posted again now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else want to know if it’s the same poster using the phrase choosy beggar? They can’t stop. I keep checking back just to see if it’s posted again now.

Let me entertain you, Karen. Would you like some choosing with that begging? lol.

Please tell us more about the time you took other kids and paid all expenses.

Did they share an ice cream with you? No? What inconsiderate brats!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else want to know if it’s the same poster using the phrase choosy beggar? They can’t stop. I keep checking back just to see if it’s posted again now.

I am curious too. I just know it's not me, although I do think it's an apt description of the person who would be horrified if someone didn't let their teenage son sleep on the floor of the mom's room.

-- OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone else want to know if it’s the same poster using the phrase choosy beggar? They can’t stop. I keep checking back just to see if it’s posted again now.

I am curious too. I just know it's not me, although I do think it's an apt description of the person who would be horrified if someone didn't let their teenage son sleep on the floor of the mom's room.

-- OP

Sleeping on the floor is the default when going to an athletic overnight camp. Or kids share a bed, in which case the mom will sleep in between the teens to make sure there’s no hanky panky going on. Choosy beggars also have their mind in the gutter, oh my!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Hey OP - go back and read your big long update. See how many times you wrote “I thought” and “I imagined”. Now remember the phrase when I assume…

This was an expensive and embarrassing lesson for you.

That is what I asked. What are you imagining that the other parents were assuming?

Or what would you assume if your kid reached out to someone you didn’t know to ask them for a ride?

I get that I should have been more specific, but I don’t get how they are imagining the situation might have played out.

Look- I would never be the type of parent who would not pay. I would be offering you money directly before the trip happened. But not all of us are like us.

I would also never think a parent would book 3 rooms in this situation. I would be thinking how to gracefully back out when I found out you did that and be complaining to DH if you were our only option. But that would be on us because you were driving and we would still pay.

These parents are wrong for not offering money. Or maybe they sent cash with their kids and the kids kept it. They are old enough to handle trips like this on their own. That is a real possibility. You were wrong for booking 3 rooms. There is fault all around and clearly a lack of communication.

I don't understand the part of "thinking how to gracefully back out". I wrote in my initial offer that I would be booking extra rooms, and included the link to the hotel with the prices. All they needed to say was "no thank you". That's not backing out. Backing out is when you've offered or committed to something and then change your mind. They could also have said "Could the boys share one room?" and the other two parents could have replied, and then I would have booked 2 rooms, but I understand that people might feel awkward about that.

If you had backed out, would you just have forfeited the cost of the camp, or would you have taken him yourself and paid for a whole room?

We are trying to help but you are getting more and more defensive with your replies. We don’t know exactly how the emails were written so we can’t give advice. It sounds like you were not clear with the cost and how much you expected each to pay. Maybe you were.

All I am saying is if I agreed that you were going to take my 17 yo to camp and drive 7 hours and then later I found out you booked 3 rooms DH and I would be like “wow, guess we have to pay if his is our only way to get him there but what is she thinking”

But that's not what happened, at all. The other parent signed their 17 year old up for camp before they ever met me. It seems that they paid for it and then something came up and whatever their original plan for getting the kid to camp fell through. Or maybe they were planning to take him, and then found out I was offering rides and realized it would be easier than taking them themselves. I don't know. At that point their kid asked my kid for a ride and I reached and said "I hear your kids need a ride. I am am happy to bring them. Here is the link to the hotel where we are booked. I can add more rooms."

Yes, I agree 100% that if this had been a situation where we had spoken before camp registration, and I had sprung the 3 room thing on them months later, that would be different. If I had known about these kids before I registered, I would have found a cheaper option, but since I had already paid for our room, and it was nonrefundable, the choices were limited.

You were offering the ride. You should have communicated better on the hotel situation. You had two rooms. That is plenty. You could have said, please book a room for your child and if you'd like to share, xx and xx are going and your son can share with them/split the cost. You didn't communicate so they probably assumed the kids would be in your room.

I had one room. I communicated that I was booking more rooms. I also communicated the price, by sharing the link.

Would you really share a room with multiple teenage boys you didn’t know? If your kid goes on a sleepover do you expect that they will share with the other kid’s opposite sex parent? That seems a bizarre assumption to me.

I wouldn't take kids I didn't know but yes, I'd share a room. You HAD two rooms. Your son could sleep in your room and the other three in the other room. You did not clearly communicate and ask for the money upfront. I think its bizzare to get three rooms for 5 people. You didn't need to share a room as the other parent paid for a room and the other three boys should have slept there. You wanted your own room and didn't want to share. You should have paid for 1/2 your sons room.

The choosing beggar is back!

The beggar? My kid would not have gone either her and we’d take them ourselves or pick a program nearby with housing, which is what we’ve done for a few years. No way would I have my teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. I’ve never let my kids go on a trip with others as when I ask details it’s not something I’m usually comfortable with. When I take kids, we pay for everything. I don’t put the financial burden on the parents when we invite out. And, yes, mine sleep on an air mattress or sofa if needed. They aren’t spoiled like op child. We can all share a room.

Replace when with never. Choosy beggars expect handouts because “when” they do it, they pay for everything.

And don’t forget, “paying for everything” means sleeping on an inflatable mattress in a room shared with other kids and parents, because she’s not going to have her teen in a room with another kid alone unsupervised. If you don’t like it you’re a spoiled brat!

That’s so generous and amazing that I’m going to politely decline and just get a hotel room like normal people, especially before an athletic meet.

Cheap choosy beggars!

If an air mattress is good enough for mine it’s good enough for yours. This is why I wouldn’t take most kids overnight.