Can I ask for payment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The most important lesson to be learned here: teach your teen not to volunteer your services without checking with you first. This whole thing would have been avoided if you had kept with your original plan.

It seems silly for 4 families to each drive their own kid, to avoid an awkward conversation. I didn't have a problem with taking them.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you made up your mind that you are going to ask for money? I feel like you have.

[Anonymous]

OP, you blew it by not stating the cost and getting payment ahead of time. Now it just seems petty. Eat the cost and handle it differently if there is ever a next time.

[Anonymous]

The parents are probably expecting a request- they just need to know the amount. Yes, they should have offered without being asked, but it’s also not unusual to wait for the actual cost. Send the suggested email from an earlier PP and don’t think twice about it. They were not expecting you to pay for their child’s room.

[Anonymous]

I would circle back to the parents since they knew booking a hotel for their kids was involved. Send a copy of the invoice and your Venmo and then throw in some compliments about how well-behaved their kids were and what a great time they had.

The kids might just be clueless and the parents might think the kids used Apple Pay or something to cover the hotel. This might just be a miscommunication issue. The parents will have absolutely no problem with you reaching out to them for payment.

[Anonymous]

I completely disagree that it would be petty to reach out to them for payment and I agree with the other poster who said they are likely expecting you to reach out.

What is the worst that can happen? You reach out and they feel annoyed that you didn’t treat their kid to a free hotel? Surely no parent is that irrational. Don’t have your kid reach out to those kids. You reach out to the parents, but do it ASAP.

[Anonymous]

No. You should have sorted that out before picking them up. And since you were driving there anyway you wouldn't have asked for gas money, just for them to pay for their hotel rooms and meals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you blew it by not stating the cost and getting payment ahead of time. Now it just seems petty. Eat the cost and handle it differently if there is ever a next time.

Or maybe the other parents assumed OP will figure things out and they’ll pay whatever is owed. She should contact them, I disagree with the argument that the ship had sailed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. You should have sorted that out before picking them up. And since you were driving there anyway you wouldn't have asked for gas money, just for them to pay for their hotel rooms and meals.

No that’s not how it works on shared trips, you share the cost for the gas, or at least offer. It should have been sorted before the trip but that burden is shared by both OP and the other parents. You don’t send your kid to an extracurricular activity without knowing how it’s going to be paid for. I agree that the parents may have assumed OP will figure out the details and pay in the end. What’s the total amount per person? I’m assuming hotel for two nights with kids sharing a room, meals and gas it adds to about $500 per kid. It’s not realistic to expect the OP to pay for it from her own pocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the majority of the posters. Now, it would feel really weird to chase down people now and ask, “Hey, remember that fun trip your kid went on? That’ll be $102.50, thanks.”

What do you estimate are your additional costs? Don't count gas because that expense would've been the same. It sounds like kids brought money for food but some didn't have enough. Cash can be hard to estimate but I'm surprised they didn't have some electronic form of payment. You said one kid gave you money for the hotel. It sounds like you had your own room and 4 kids slept together in second room. Is that right? How much hotel money did the one kid give you for hotel and what was the cost of the second room?

I borrowed a bigger car from a relative to fit the kids, so my gas price did go up, although what the one kid paid for covered most of that difference. I'm not saying I need every cent paid for. But it was an area where hotel rooms are over $200 a night. For my family, that's a lot. Perhaps not for their families.

I have no idea how much money the kids had, because they used their phones. Breakfast was included in the hotel. Lunch was included in the camp that their parents had paid for. When we stopped at rest stops, they paid for themselves. The night between the two days, we went to a sit down restaurant together, and I paid because splitting the check between multiple apple pays seemed complicated. I'm happy to cover that. It's really the hotel room that bugs me, because it was clearly an expense I wouldn't have had, and one that the parents know about.

I will also say that I have no idea what the parents know. It's possible that they think their kid apple paid me or something.

[Anonymous]

How much are we talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the majority of the posters. Now, it would feel really weird to chase down people now and ask, “Hey, remember that fun trip your kid went on? That’ll be $102.50, thanks.”

What do you estimate are your additional costs? Don't count gas because that expense would've been the same. It sounds like kids brought money for food but some didn't have enough. Cash can be hard to estimate but I'm surprised they didn't have some electronic form of payment. You said one kid gave you money for the hotel. It sounds like you had your own room and 4 kids slept together in second room. Is that right? How much hotel money did the one kid give you for hotel and what was the cost of the second room?

I borrowed a bigger car from a relative to fit the kids, so my gas price did go up, although what the one kid paid for covered most of that difference. I'm not saying I need every cent paid for. But it was an area where hotel rooms are over $200 a night. For my family, that's a lot. Perhaps not for their families.

I have no idea how much money the kids had, because they used their phones. Breakfast was included in the hotel. Lunch was included in the camp that their parents had paid for. When we stopped at rest stops, they paid for themselves. The night between the two days, we went to a sit down restaurant together, and I paid because splitting the check between multiple apple pays seemed complicated. I'm happy to cover that. It's really the hotel room that bugs me, because it was clearly an expense I wouldn't have had, and one that the parents know about.

I will also say that I have no idea what the parents know. It's possible that they think their kid apple paid me or something.

You’re overthinking this. Send the text/email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the majority of the posters. Now, it would feel really weird to chase down people now and ask, “Hey, remember that fun trip your kid went on? That’ll be $102.50, thanks.”

What do you estimate are your additional costs? Don't count gas because that expense would've been the same. It sounds like kids brought money for food but some didn't have enough. Cash can be hard to estimate but I'm surprised they didn't have some electronic form of payment. You said one kid gave you money for the hotel. It sounds like you had your own room and 4 kids slept together in second room. Is that right? How much hotel money did the one kid give you for hotel and what was the cost of the second room?

I borrowed a bigger car from a relative to fit the kids, so my gas price did go up, although what the one kid paid for covered most of that difference. I'm not saying I need every cent paid for. But it was an area where hotel rooms are over $200 a night. For my family, that's a lot. Perhaps not for their families.

I have no idea how much money the kids had, because they used their phones. Breakfast was included in the hotel. Lunch was included in the camp that their parents had paid for. When we stopped at rest stops, they paid for themselves. The night between the two days, we went to a sit down restaurant together, and I paid because splitting the check between multiple apple pays seemed complicated. I'm happy to cover that. It's really the hotel room that bugs me, because it was clearly an expense I wouldn't have had, and one that the parents know about.

I will also say that I have no idea what the parents know. It's possible that they think their kid apple paid me or something.

So it’s just $200 per kid for the hotel? Then it’s easy, just call the hotel and ask for an invoice for that room only and email it to the parents. Mentioned they shared the room and the other kids had other rooms. If I were the other parent I’d be happy you took care of everything. It would be totally fine to add $100 per kid in gas money and the restaurant meal, but that’s up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the majority of the posters. Now, it would feel really weird to chase down people now and ask, “Hey, remember that fun trip your kid went on? That’ll be $102.50, thanks.”

What do you estimate are your additional costs? Don't count gas because that expense would've been the same. It sounds like kids brought money for food but some didn't have enough. Cash can be hard to estimate but I'm surprised they didn't have some electronic form of payment. You said one kid gave you money for the hotel. It sounds like you had your own room and 4 kids slept together in second room. Is that right? How much hotel money did the one kid give you for hotel and what was the cost of the second room?

I borrowed a bigger car from a relative to fit the kids, so my gas price did go up, although what the one kid paid for covered most of that difference. I'm not saying I need every cent paid for. But it was an area where hotel rooms are over $200 a night. For my family, that's a lot. Perhaps not for their families.

I have no idea how much money the kids had, because they used their phones. Breakfast was included in the hotel. Lunch was included in the camp that their parents had paid for. When we stopped at rest stops, they paid for themselves. The night between the two days, we went to a sit down restaurant together, and I paid because splitting the check between multiple apple pays seemed complicated. I'm happy to cover that. It's really the hotel room that bugs me, because it was clearly an expense I wouldn't have had, and one that the parents know about.

I will also say that I have no idea what the parents know. It's possible that they think their kid apple paid me or something.

You’re overthinking this. Send the text/email.

+1