Can I ask for payment?

[Anonymous]

The default is that everyone will pay their fair share, you don’t need to talk in advance or it’s on the host. Fairness doesn’t expire a week after the trip.

I think it’s likely the parents gave the other boys money to cover the expenses, we know they gave them money for the meals, but they saw an opportunity to make some easy pocket money on the OPs expense. That would explain why the parents didn’t say anything, they just assumed everything was taken care of.

I’d contact the parents and ask for reimbursement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The default is that everyone will pay their fair share, you don’t need to talk in advance or it’s on the host. Fairness doesn’t expire a week after the trip.

I think it’s likely the parents gave the other boys money to cover the expenses, we know they gave them money for the meals, but they saw an opportunity to make some easy pocket money on the OPs expense. That would explain why the parents didn’t say anything, they just assumed everything was taken care of.

I’d contact the parents and ask for reimbursement.

Op should have been upfront. I will take your kids but there are 4 people sharing a hotel room, so the cost for your child is X. Please send money for food. I plan to stop at places costing between $10-20 per meal. And, I'd appreciate gas and toll money - your share is XXX.

None of this makes sense. I can see the kids paying for food, but I'd never ask for more. OP is pretty comfortable to pay for this camp and travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

Kids don't need their own hotel rooms. YOU wanted your own hotel room and that's differnt. If you can afford these sports, and travel, stop being petty. Its really strange someone this comfortable is petty. You would have gotten two hotel rooms anyway. Let the kids pay directly for their own food. Whats with the reinbursement non-sense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

Kids don't need their own hotel rooms. YOU wanted your own hotel room and that's differnt. If you can afford these sports, and travel, stop being petty. Its really strange someone this comfortable is petty. You would have gotten two hotel rooms anyway. Let the kids pay directly for their own food. Whats with the reinbursement non-sense?

What? She would have gotten only one hotel room with two beds for her and her son.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the replies but definitely ask for their share of the hotel room. These parents know that sports recruiting is very expensive. Hotels are a big part of the expense. I would feel differently if this was just for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The default is that everyone will pay their fair share, you don’t need to talk in advance or it’s on the host. Fairness doesn’t expire a week after the trip.

I think it’s likely the parents gave the other boys money to cover the expenses, we know they gave them money for the meals, but they saw an opportunity to make some easy pocket money on the OPs expense. That would explain why the parents didn’t say anything, they just assumed everything was taken care of.

I’d contact the parents and ask for reimbursement.

Op should have been upfront. I will take your kids but there are 4 people sharing a hotel room, so the cost for your child is X. Please send money for food. I plan to stop at places costing between $10-20 per meal. And, I'd appreciate gas and toll money - your share is XXX.

None of this makes sense. I can see the kids paying for food, but I'd never ask for more. OP is pretty comfortable to pay for this camp and travel.

Do you go through life assuming other parents will make arrangements for your own kid and gift them hotel rooms and meals when they are 15-16 year old? That must really help with your social life.

The OP doesn’t know in advance what money the parents gave the kids, how they instructed them to pay for expenses and what the hotel arrangements and available rooms will be. It’s assumed they’ll pay their own. One of them did, it’s clear at least one parent thought it’s the right thing to do. I bet the other kids had money but saw an opportunity to pocket it. In which case it’s also the parent’s responsibility to make sure the kid knows it’s not something you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

Kids don't need their own hotel rooms. YOU wanted your own hotel room and that's differnt. If you can afford these sports, and travel, stop being petty. Its really strange someone this comfortable is petty. You would have gotten two hotel rooms anyway. Let the kids pay directly for their own food. Whats with the reinbursement non-sense?

lol, then do what, have the kids sleep in the car, let them figure it out by themselves? You just sound clueless or you’re a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

Kids don't need their own hotel rooms. YOU wanted your own hotel room and that's differnt. If you can afford these sports, and travel, stop being petty. Its really strange someone this comfortable is petty. You would have gotten two hotel rooms anyway. Let the kids pay directly for their own food. Whats with the reinbursement non-sense?

lol, then do what, have the kids sleep in the car, let them figure it out by themselves? You just sound clueless or you’re a troll.

YOU are a troll. Her and her kid could have shared a room and the other kids shared the other room. Or, they all share one room and they bring airmattresses and bedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The default is that everyone will pay their fair share, you don’t need to talk in advance or it’s on the host. Fairness doesn’t expire a week after the trip.

I think it’s likely the parents gave the other boys money to cover the expenses, we know they gave them money for the meals, but they saw an opportunity to make some easy pocket money on the OPs expense. That would explain why the parents didn’t say anything, they just assumed everything was taken care of.

I’d contact the parents and ask for reimbursement.

Op should have been upfront. I will take your kids but there are 4 people sharing a hotel room, so the cost for your child is X. Please send money for food. I plan to stop at places costing between $10-20 per meal. And, I'd appreciate gas and toll money - your share is XXX.

None of this makes sense. I can see the kids paying for food, but I'd never ask for more. OP is pretty comfortable to pay for this camp and travel.

Do you go through life assuming other parents will make arrangements for your own kid and gift them hotel rooms and meals when they are 15-16 year old? That must really help with your social life.

The OP doesn’t know in advance what money the parents gave the kids, how they instructed them to pay for expenses and what the hotel arrangements and available rooms will be. It’s assumed they’ll pay their own. One of them did, it’s clear at least one parent thought it’s the right thing to do. I bet the other kids had money but saw an opportunity to pocket it. In which case it’s also the parent’s responsibility to make sure the kid knows it’s not something you do.

I'd never have my kid go with another family overnight and we'd take them but we've taken other kids and we pay. When other parents take mine, they generally pay. It all balances out.

OP knew the costs up front. She can google how much gas and tolls cost, she made hotel reservations so she says, your child's share for hotel and gas/tolls is XXX. Please send money for all meals, we plan to do fast food, sit down, etc so $10-20 per meal. Simple. I cannot imagine asking someone for gas and tolls and they only needed two rooms, really one. OP wanted her own room and wouldn't even share with her own child.

[Anonymous]

These aren’t close friends where they are having reciprocating play dates. They asked for a ride which she graciously gave and of course she deserves to be paid back for the hotel rooms. Some of you are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who think OP shouldn't even ask, can you expand on your reasoning? Is it just because she didn't ask beforehand? I don't see how that leads to a conclusion it's rude to ask now. Or is it just DCUM assuming all OPs are always in the wrong?

One child paid for a hotel room. Kids paid for their own food. What more is owed?

No one paid her for the third hotel room.

Even if she didn't take the kids, she still would have gotten two rooms, one for her, and one for her child.

No she said she got beds for everyone, which required 3 rooms for 5 people. She already said her son would have slept in the room with her if he hadn't been invited by the other boy who refused payment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did you not discuss this ahead of time? You were wrong not to, and the other kids’ parents were wrong not to offer. If you need the money, ask, if not chalk it up to a life experience. How many rooms were there? It’s a little dodgier if they weren’t all in your room or the room the other kid paid for.

15 - 17 year olds. The two kids who didn’t pay shared a room. My plan was that my kid would stay in my room, but the kid who paid offered him the other bed in his room.

If the kids were of different sex, then I can see the two additional rooms. But if they were all boys/girls, at least the other three kids could have shared one room.

OP - I see a lot of lessons learned here, I’m sure that the parents of the one kid that paid were surprised that he was charged full price for a room and that you were going to have their 16yo kid stay in a room alone -.

I’m curious, if the other kids had offered to pay for their own rooms, would you have gotten them each their own?

The decision to book three rooms was made before I had any idea the kid was paying. This was a sports ID camp, with college coaches who the kids were trying to impress. In my opinion, sleep is critical to playing well, so I wasn't going to ask my kid to sleep on the floor or share a bed. I assumed that others felt the same way, and based on that, I booked a bed for each kid, plus one for myself which meant 3 rooms total. When I texted the parents to confirm the plan, I said "We're booked at X hotel. I can add extra rooms."

The kid who paid for the room did so at check in. He just handed over a card and asked that one of the rooms be charged to him. He then asked my kid if he wanted to share. My kid said something to him about paying for half the room and he said no, his mom had told him to pay for it. He did something similar one of the times we stopped for gas, and when we stopped for fast food on the way up and the way back. When I paid for dinner for the group, he apple paid me the appropriate amount without me asking. It seemed clear that his mom had done some coaching about how to make sure he was paying for himself. I don't imagine they were surprised.

Kids don't need their own hotel rooms. YOU wanted your own hotel room and that's differnt. If you can afford these sports, and travel, stop being petty. Its really strange someone this comfortable is petty. You would have gotten two hotel rooms anyway. Let the kids pay directly for their own food. Whats with the reinbursement non-sense?

What? She would have gotten only one hotel room with two beds for her and her son.

And, another child paid for the second hotel room and all the other boys could have stayed in there. She wanted her own room and a room for her son so she choose to pay for two rooms. She should have been upfront with the plan. She wouldn't have shared with her son. She was clear in her post of that.