Boyfriend is celibate until marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t help him maintain this boundary by supporting his choice, get out and let someone else.
You definitely can remain celibate, too, and have fun together doing just that.

But why should she remain celibate if she doesn't have any "issues"?
Additionally, there is a possibility that he has some potentially dark interests on the side that he's hiding.

OMFG, it's not that deep! She doesn't have to remain celibate. She can go catch a dick at some bar tonight, if that's what she's into. She just needs to break up with this incompatible partner first. She's not entitled to sex with him, and pretending that's a him issue is creepy af. He made his position clear.

[Anonymous]

Suggest celibate until engagement and see if he is amenable.

[Anonymous]

Don’t. People breakup and move on all the time. You’re SOL if you stay.

[Anonymous]

Do this man a favor and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t help him maintain this boundary by supporting his choice, get out and let someone else.
You definitely can remain celibate, too, and have fun together doing just that.

But why should she remain celibate if she doesn't have any "issues"?
Additionally, there is a possibility that he has some potentially dark interests on the side that he's hiding.

Yeah, he’s a loose cannon. Who knows what vice he turned too to manage his “stress, boredom, or anger” when he cut off his casual sex benders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If sex is off the table until after marriage, couldn’t you just do anal for now? It works well for many religious couples.

Lol. Like the lot religious peeps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If sex is off the table until after marriage, couldn’t you just do anal for now? It works well for many religious couples.

Lota

[Anonymous]

I would be very worried about porn and self help …. Which can be habit forming and lead to bad habits.

Am I understating right that this is a new thing for him and he previously was sleeping around n a lot? This seems like just a big pendulum swing, rather than a thoughtful approach to life. Like he’s using you to make a point to himself. It’s one thing to say “no sex until we really get to know each other” but he’s saying no sex for years, which seems unrealistic. My parents waited until marriage but I think they got married in like a year from when they met.

[Anonymous]

My ex was like this religiously and sexuallu without the addiction to porn and alcohol. He became a sex addict. With men. Used up some of the best 20 years of my life. I've now met at least 5 women and men with similar stories of their spouses pretending to be religious. Often addiction and depression is part of their personality. One guy is 50 and has now married 3 different women in the same way. It's all so gross. They are all about wanting to be authentic in words and make you question yourself but in reality are just lying and using people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t help him maintain this boundary by supporting his choice, get out and let someone else.
You definitely can remain celibate, too, and have fun together doing just that.

But why should she remain celibate if she doesn't have any "issues"?
Additionally, there is a possibility that he has some potentially dark interests on the side that he's hiding.

OMFG, it's not that deep! She doesn't have to remain celibate. She can go catch a dick at some bar tonight, if that's what she's into. She just needs to break up with this incompatible partner first. She's not entitled to sex with him, and pretending that's a him issue is creepy af. He made his position clear.

+1000

Best response in the entire thread.

[Anonymous]

If he is not religious, which I read into this initially, I wouod run for the hills because he could cut off sex at any time during you marriage for who knows what reason. Like a PP said, he is not thinking of your needs. And I am wondering if he is hiding something, a deformity, STD, what

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is not religious, which I read into this initially, I wouod run for the hills because he could cut off sex at any time during you marriage for who knows what reason. Like a PP said, he is not thinking of your needs. And I am wondering if he is hiding something, a deformity, STD, what

That’s what I was thinking as well. He must be hiding something like a STI.

And waiting another 2-3 years until marriage?!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he is gay and just scared to admit it?

He is not gay. He said he used sex a lot as an escape and decided he would celibate until marriage.

wtf OP troll.

What was he escaping from?

How much sex was he previously having, and with whom?

When did this celibacy thing start?

I’m not a troll.

To answer your questions

He said he used sex an escape. When he was happy, bored, or stressed.

He slept with a lot of random women. Lots of one night stands and casual sex.

He’s cheated. He even slept with married women in the past.

He said his body count is 100+. He just did it because it was there.

He had a std scare and that whipped him into shape. Then a family loss. He decided he didn’t want to live his life like that. He decided he wanted to wait for marriage because he made a choice to reserve sex the way god intended. He wants to be in love and do it the right away.

U r kidding. Way to deliberately bury the lead OP.

What aint the above in the OP?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m seeing this guy I really like who told me he has decided to be celibate until marriage. I’ve been trying to be understanding but it is getting pretty hard for me to not want sex with him. I think about sex constantly. I don’t know if I can do this..

Move on. Unless he's got a good job/stable income/promotion material, and is interested in being a good provider. Then look into getting married. There's always divorce if it doesn't work out.

[Anonymous]

This is a major red flag!