Sister Incorporating My Son into Her Wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you engaged? Your post reads like a teenager envisioning a fake wedding. Don’t make this about you on your wedding day if there isn’t a fiance and wedding date.

The thing with your son is creepy…your mom should be filling all of those roles except the cufflinks, that’s the only sweet/sentimental thing the kid should be forced to do. He isn’t giving away his Aunt, nor will he care about the rest of it.

Yeah I could see that. I'm in a LT relationship. Our timeline is getting engaged after my sister's wedding so I'm not stealing her spotlight and honestly probably another year after because I need to financially recover from her wedding. I've also never been married before so maybe I just don't fully understand that it's not that big of a deal. I could see myself looking back and realizing I was upset over nothing

How much are you spending on the wedding?!

I'm contributing 20K and the groom's parents are doing the same and they have to come up with the rest

NP. I don't understand why you are putting $20k towards your twin sister's wedding. A wedding that apparently will cost over $40k.

+1. If your sister and fiance can't afford a big wedding they need to scale back.

I would ask your DS how HE wants to be involved but I would definitely hold the line at the First Look- that's just weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're putting too many emotional and financial resources into both weddings.

Tbh I think that is where a lot of my emotions are coming from. I feel like I was pressured to "step up" financially by mom since she says my sister doesn't have anyone else and she/they "helped so much with my son." Simultaneously, I'm supposed to just be ok with her wanting to incorporate him (really #3 just doesn't sit well) no questions asked. FYI my sister is a really sweet person which makes it harder to share how I'm feeling about it. But I don't know this just feels weird - it's not like he's the man of the house he and I have lived without them for years and he's literally 12.


At this point I'd rather have a micro wedding. Weddings are freaking expensive

This is your chance to model appropriate behavior, then. A wedding is not a series of photo ops that drain you financially. A nephew is not a father figure. A parent should shield their kids from unhinged relatives.

[Anonymous]

The first look is weird because it’s supposed to be a pic of the bride taking the groom’s breath away. I hope your 12 year old doesn’t feel that way about his aunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I know is this pre teen kid is going to be filling the role of groom and father of the bride for both his mom and aunt (first look is totally a bride and groom thing, not a bride and dad or bride and uncle or bride and nephew thing. And to imagine it as bride and son thing is weirdly Oedipal. Like “oh look how beautiful my mother looks as she goes off to her wedding night!”). I feel bad for his future wife because he is gonna be very anti wedding.

Hahaha! So true!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, just tell her you object to #3. She needs to find someone else for First Look.

+1 first look can be with you, son, Mom.

And the other two only if it's ok with your son.

[Anonymous]

Why isn’t she doing first look pics with the groom?

[Anonymous]

You guys, OP did not have a baby at age 16 and is now a big law associate at age 28. It’s a troll post.

[Anonymous]

This first look thing with anyone but the fiancee is weird. In fact, the whole concept is dumb as hell. Yes. I know. Not relevant to the OP, but I have never ever heard as Ed of this, which I guess makes me officially out of touch and therefore this comment is superfluous.

But the rest is fine. Your son will be older when you get married Op and it will mean something different to him at a different age and with you.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. All of it. Your 12 year old son is being treated like a father/husband by your sister, and by you! (you said you wanted a “first look” with your son at your own future wedding) This sounds inappropriate behavior by his aunt and mom, besides which what 12 yr old boy cares about a “first look” with anyone.

OP, tell your sister this and get over your own ideas as well. Let your son give out programs or something so he is a part of things in an age appropriate way.

[Anonymous]

All of this is so weird. WTH?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I wouldn’t like this either.

Your mother walking her down the aisle is better. The whole first look thing with a 12yo nephew is definitely weird. I have seen some first looks with dad and it is sweet but a nephew is not the same as a dad.

You should ask your son how involved he wants to be. Is he 12 turning 13? My middle school son would not want to do this at all!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 28 and I work in big law

No you don't. Good troll though.

Honestly, the fact that you think I'm not real makes me more proud of myself lol. But you should probably get out more.

[Anonymous]

First look pictures should be bride and groom only. It’s weird and a little creepy that someone would want to include a 12 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 28 and I work in big law

No you don't. Good troll though.

Honestly, the fact that you think I'm not real makes me more proud of myself lol. But you should probably get out more.

You're correct, I don't believe that someone who had a baby at 16 went on to attend a TT college and then a TT law school to be a successful biglaw associate at 28, but is still so poor with money management that she plans to go into debt for her sister's wedding. What can I say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im 28 and I work in big law

No you don't. Good troll though.

Honestly, the fact that you think I'm not real makes me more proud of myself lol. But you should probably get out more.

I googled "big law attorney teen mom" and found you (there seems to be only one). If you are the woman in the article, you have much to be proud of, and I stand corrected. I still don't think you should spend 20k on your sister's wedding.