Sister Incorporating My Son into Her Wedding

[Anonymous]

Posted as you were posting. Now that I understand it, I still think you are both being weird. No 12 year old cares what their aunt looks like in a wedding dress. Frankly, your son isn’t going to care about your wedding dress either in 2-6 years. You guys are bith pinning your hopes on a young boys reaction — and he is unlikely to give either of you want you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

How is he supposed to walk her down the aisle without seeing her first?

First looks are these staged set up pictures. Like his back will be turned and then she approaches him and he turns around and they capture the looks of love and wonder when he sees her for the first time. Which, won't be there for a 12 year old boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

The First Look is between the bride and the groom. Why would your child care about seeing his aunt in her wedding dress? I could see you and your mom being there to help her get ready but that's not the same as the First Look. I think walking her down the aisle WITH your mom is kind of cute. Even the cufflinks is nice. The rest is just weird.

[Anonymous]

It’s a bit gross that your jealousy is getting in the way of your son having a great relationship with his aunt.

What does your kid want to do? Is he into any of this? I like the idea of the first look with mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

How is he supposed to walk her down the aisle without seeing her first?

First looks are these staged set up pictures. Like his back will be turned and then she approaches him and he turns around and they capture the looks of love and wonder when he sees her for the first time. Which, won't be there for a 12 year old boy.

Yeah he's 12. He doesn't care. That one's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

1. This is between your son and his aunt.

2. I would be honored if I were you. I would also be honored if I were your son. But it's up to him.

3. WTF is a "first look?!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is a First Look?

Merchandising.

You need to pay to have this moment staged, photographed, and delivered in digital or print form. They make this stuff up to separate people from money.

[Anonymous]

In the OP, I was assuming the son was a young adult. Now that I learn he's only 12, I think it's ridiculous to make this boy the "father of the bride" in a wedding. He's not going to understand this role enough for it to be meaningful to him, and it's more than a little weird that his mother and aunt are fussing over him like this. There's a high change he will not want to do any of it, especially the dance. Give him a ring bearer role and let go of this "man of the house" thing. The same goes for assuming he'd want to do all that at his own mother's wedding. He probably won't.
(And while I'm at it, WTF is a "first look". It sounds creepy.)

[Anonymous]

This post is so weirdly Oedipal. A pre-teen is not going to want or enjoy having that kind of role in a wedding, either his aunt's or his mother's. And please don't make him have a first dance with his aunt. He doesn't want to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post is so weirdly Oedipal. A pre-teen is not going to want or enjoy having that kind of role in a wedding, either his aunt's or his mother's. And please don't make him have a first dance with his aunt. He doesn't want to do that.

This post was made-up by our prolific Family Relationships troll.

[Anonymous]

Ew. No. You both need to have an actual adult male fill the role of your father if you insist on that.

[Anonymous]

OP here. By way of context for (1) I lowkey think it is weird to have a child give you away but I want her to be happy. For my wedding I was going to have my mom walk me or walk myself which would probably be the latter. For (2) I think its sweet. For (3) it crosses a line to me in conjunction with the other two because it feels like its too much. For my wedding I didn't want to do the thing where I tap his shoulder and he turns around and is supposed to have a reaction, I just wanted to come out and have a photographer capture us hugging and final moment together where we are just a family of two. I just wanted to make sure I do something special with my son for my own wedding that isn't some big deal but isn't a repeat of what my sister is wanting to do with him.

My son is pretty much a go with the flow person. He already knows about the first 2 and is fine with it. He doesn't know about the 3rd but my sister just told me about it today.


Also is a first look a new thing?? I'm 28 and I thought people have been doing this for years but maybe I'm wrong about that.

[Anonymous]

First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My son is 12 years old. First look is supposed to be a moment between the bride and someone or a few people (e.g., groom, dad, bridesmaids) where there is essentially a reveal of the bride to that individual. They get a first look at the bride before she walks down the aisle. I always thought of it being a special and private moment. She is wanting to do it with just my son.

+1. Too weird to be true, actually. First dance is bride and groom so OP needs to do more research before her next story post.
The First Look is between the bride and the groom. Why would your child care about seeing his aunt in her wedding dress? I could see you and your mom being there to help her get ready but that's not the same as the First Look. I think walking her down the aisle WITH your mom is kind of cute. Even the cufflinks is nice. The rest is just weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First looks is fairly new. Definitely a social media thing. And it's pretty dumb.

Gotcha. So for any of you who had a child/children before marriage. Did you do anything special to incorporate them?