Should you push young kids in sports?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So any teen that chooses to not get themselves in trouble must be perfect? It doesn't require perfection to stay out of trouble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So any teen that chooses to not get themselves in trouble must be perfect? It doesn't require perfection to stay out of trouble.

This conversation is over your head, ma’am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So any teen that chooses to not get themselves in trouble must be perfect? It doesn't require perfection to stay out of trouble.

This conversation is over your head, ma’am.

No its not, I understand it perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So any teen that chooses to not get themselves in trouble must be perfect? It doesn't require perfection to stay out of trouble.

This conversation is over your head, ma’am.

No its not, I understand it perfectly.

You dumb

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

As parents we really do have a choice that is not either of unlimited screen time or overscheduling. You can just tell your kid to go be bored until they find out that staring at clouds isn't so bad.

- parent with kids in activities who also stare at clouds and occasionally get screen time

How old are your kids?

Teen, tween, younger ES. So not as young as you're thinking.

LOL. If you don’t think that over scheduling some teens is preferable to letting them “stare at clouds” then you must not have met many teens. Some of them will be staring at the wrong kinds of clouds if you let them get too bored.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure your kids are perfect and would never be tempted to do the wrong thing, but I would expect a mother of three to not be so smug and maybe be smart enough to understand that kids are all different.

So any teen that chooses to not get themselves in trouble must be perfect? It doesn't require perfection to stay out of trouble.

This conversation is over your head, ma’am.

No its not, I understand it perfectly.

You dumb

Rude and no I'm not

[Anonymous]

I think it is good to have a hobby or develop a passion for something. It gives you a goal to improve - doesn’t have to be of a competitive nature in the sense of “are you going to make varsity in high school or become a college athlete?” It also doesn’t need to be a sport, it could be art, music, theater, etc. If the goal is to have a shot at being a pro, then yes, sacrifices need to be made. But it requires some innate talent to make it to that level, so the “pushing” is useless without that factor.

A focus on academics is good, that’s not up for debate. But school should not be consuming a child’s entire life. I honestly don’t think it matters if you’re top 1% or top 10% or even top 20. If a student is not too picky on their college choice, they’ll get in somewhere.

Those students at the top who are aiming for the elite colleges will need to demonstrate some involvement with outside activities anyway, so sitting inside the house and studying at all hours isn’t going to cut it anymore.

As far as playing or doing other things, who says you can’t do that if you have an activity? Is sports taking up 5 days a week afterschool and the entire day on Saturdays and Sundays every single week from sunrise to sundown?

I think kids should be encouraged to try different activities, not just sports, and see if there is something they want to do and improve at. I remember the theater kids in my high school were very passionate about it, and they had a lot of confidence/great public speaking skills. It wasn’t my thing so I never cared about it back then but looking back, they were very impressive. They can memorize a ton of lines, act, sing and dance. Did any become “famous?” No. But that wasn’t the point. I think they enjoyed their time doing stuff they love. And the skills they learned were very useful on a personal level regardless of the fact that none made it to become a professional actor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it is good to have a hobby or develop a passion for something. It gives you a goal to improve - doesn’t have to be of a competitive nature in the sense of “are you going to make varsity in high school or become a college athlete?” It also doesn’t need to be a sport, it could be art, music, theater, etc. If the goal is to have a shot at being a pro, then yes, sacrifices need to be made. But it requires some innate talent to make it to that level, so the “pushing” is useless without that factor.

A focus on academics is good, that’s not up for debate. But school should not be consuming a child’s entire life. I honestly don’t think it matters if you’re top 1% or top 10% or even top 20. If a student is not too picky on their college choice, they’ll get in somewhere.

Those students at the top who are aiming for the elite colleges will need to demonstrate some involvement with outside activities anyway, so sitting inside the house and studying at all hours isn’t going to cut it anymore.

As far as playing or doing other things, who says you can’t do that if you have an activity? Is sports taking up 5 days a week afterschool and the entire day on Saturdays and Sundays every single week from sunrise to sundown?

I think kids should be encouraged to try different activities, not just sports, and see if there is something they want to do and improve at. I remember the theater kids in my high school were very passionate about it, and they had a lot of confidence/great public speaking skills. It wasn’t my thing so I never cared about it back then but looking back, they were very impressive. They can memorize a ton of lines, act, sing and dance. Did any become “famous?” No. But that wasn’t the point. I think they enjoyed their time doing stuff they love. And the skills they learned were very useful on a personal level regardless of the fact that none made it to become a professional actor.

I don't think exposing kids to sports and other activities is a bad thing. Hopefully, they're fun for the kids, as they should be. It gets to be a problem when it's forced or pushed to a level that the child doesn't want to do it at. And yes, you're right, these activities aren't 24/7, but many parents do come out and say they put their kids in activities to keep them busy. So, the argument that they don't have time for other things isn't a stretch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Why not just take the phone or at least limit it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Why not just take the phone or at least limit it?

Why not just parent your own kid and let other people parent theirs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Why not just take the phone or at least limit it?

Why not just parent your own kid and let other people parent theirs?

I do, but there is a running theme going on that parents put kids in activities because if they don't their kids will be on screens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Why not just take the phone or at least limit it?

Why not just parent your own kid and let other people parent theirs?

Why so defensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Advice from the other side- my kids are in high school and college this is what I’ve learned.

1. Sports (especially competitive sports) are the best and easiest way to make sure your child gets the exercise, socialization and screen free time that your kids need. There’s lots of ways to make sure they get all that but having a set schedule and plan is way easier than doing it yourself.

2. The bad stuff about sports (overuse injuries, pressure, stress etc.). Is almost always a product of the parent’s attitude.

3. Sports are an excellent window in your child’s world. You will see how they interact with friends, authority, how they handle stree and even if they have developmental issues.

4. Sports will give you and your child a joint project (ie their sports career) that will deepen your relationship and give you plenty of opportunities to reinforce lessons and values.

5. You may find your best friends on those fields. I have friends from school and work but the guys that I coached with and put together teams with are some of my favorite people.

6. In my experience sports always helped with academics because practices and games structured thier time. Their worst grades always came when they were off-season.

On big caveat- all of this depends on you and your child. If he really is drawn to dance or robotics or something else you should do that thing (in my experience parents have a large roll in determining what there kids are into) also if you can not stand sports it will be miserable for both of you.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't push and let her have a life outside of sports

This. My kid's friends who do soccer have no time for anything else, it takes over evenings and weekends. Even though she likes it, I personally would consider dropping it for something less all-consuming. It's important to me that my kid have time for other things.

I agree with you, but it’s kid dependent. If the kid is going to use their free time for truly rejuvenating things (sleeping, socializing, family time, hobbies, roaming around and staring at clouds) that’s fine. But if they are going to be on their phone the whole time, it’s probably better to overschedule them.

Kids need to have a life outside of school, homework and activities. Will some kids not use their time wisely? Yes, but that doesn't mean you should treat all kids like that.

My daughter in the 4th grade had a friend whose mother scheduled her every waking hour. She came with us to a cookout that was near a Fourth of July carnival. She had never gone to one and I’d never seen her so happy. By, middle school she had turned awkward and uncomfortable in social settings. She never had a minute to experience life outside of supervised training.

For every story like that, other kids went from D1 athletics to running Fortune 500 companies. I was nationally competitive in a sport that required intense training from a young age - my peers who I trained with are a neurosurgeon, a big law partner, and a trust fund kid with a "job" working in their family office and a busy public social life that mainly involves giving away money. You should probably keep your judgments and predictions of the outcome of high-achieving kids to yourself because it's pretty complicated to predict the trajectory of a fourth grader.

My post was about a 4th grade girl who went from activity to activity from right after school until bedtime in a variety of activities. She was mediocre at everything. Still is.

I do know plenty of former D1 athletes that also played professional sports. Some in my family, hockey and football. They still had outside social lives, don’t be dramatic. And the doctor did not need to play an all consuming sport to become a doctor. Certainly going to law school is not some great feat. Neither is working for your family.

Over scheduling your kids so that they don’t have any kind of social life or family life doest not usually turn out well m

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Advice from the other side- my kids are in high school and college this is what I’ve learned.

1. Sports (especially competitive sports) are the best and easiest way to make sure your child gets the exercise, socialization and screen free time that your kids need. There’s lots of ways to make sure they get all that but having a set schedule and plan is way easier than doing it yourself.

2. The bad stuff about sports (overuse injuries, pressure, stress etc.). Is almost always a product of the parent’s attitude.

3. Sports are an excellent window in your child’s world. You will see how they interact with friends, authority, how they handle stree and even if they have developmental issues.

4. Sports will give you and your child a joint project (ie their sports career) that will deepen your relationship and give you plenty of opportunities to reinforce lessons and values.

5. You may find your best friends on those fields. I have friends from school and work but the guys that I coached with and put together teams with are some of my favorite people.

6. In my experience sports always helped with academics because practices and games structured thier time. Their worst grades always came when they were off-season.

On big caveat- all of this depends on you and your child. If he really is drawn to dance or robotics or something else you should do that thing (in my experience parents have a large roll in determining what there kids are into) also if you can not stand sports it will be miserable for both of you.

Good luck!

All that sounds good, but a kid doesn't need sports for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD8 plays travel soccer. She is ok. Not the best not the worst. I think if we pushed her more she could move up to the higher level teams. Is it worth it? I see other kids who are definitely pushed by their parents to do more practice individually outside of practice times or have private coaches. Not sure what the end goal is for an 8 year old.

FWIW I played travel everything growing up and loved it but never played in college.

Academics come first in our family however - both DH and I have masters or higher education and were high achievers throughout high school and college. Kids right now are doing very well in school.

Advice from the other side- my kids are in high school and college this is what I’ve learned.

1. Sports (especially competitive sports) are the best and easiest way to make sure your child gets the exercise, socialization and screen free time that your kids need. There’s lots of ways to make sure they get all that but having a set schedule and plan is way easier than doing it yourself.

2. The bad stuff about sports (overuse injuries, pressure, stress etc.). Is almost always a product of the parent’s attitude.

3. Sports are an excellent window in your child’s world. You will see how they interact with friends, authority, how they handle stree and even if they have developmental issues.

4. Sports will give you and your child a joint project (ie their sports career) that will deepen your relationship and give you plenty of opportunities to reinforce lessons and values.

5. You may find your best friends on those fields. I have friends from school and work but the guys that I coached with and put together teams with are some of my favorite people.

6. In my experience sports always helped with academics because practices and games structured thier time. Their worst grades always came when they were off-season.

On big caveat- all of this depends on you and your child. If he really is drawn to dance or robotics or something else you should do that thing (in my experience parents have a large roll in determining what there kids are into) also if you can not stand sports it will be miserable for both of you.

Good luck!

All that sounds good, but a kid doesn't need sports for that.

Sports just makes it way easier and more fun. But you can freehand all of that if you want